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Published on November 12th, 2015 | by Discussion Questions

How do you fix a broken friendship?





A. WRITES: I have a friend who I have known for many years. We used to go to the same church when we were younger but now we rarely see each other or talk to each other. When I do see her, it is hard to talk to her because she has changed since she started high school. I can’t relate to her anymore, but I still want to be her friend. How do you fix a broken friendship?


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are submitted by real rebelutionaries who are looking for godly answers to tough questions and lively conversation with other young adults. You can join the conversation by commenting below. If you'd like to submit your own discussion question, email us at [email protected]



  • Martial Artist

    I don’t really think there’s anything you can do. I was in that same position a while ago when a friend broke my trust. And since he wasn’t willing to put any effort into fixing the relationship, I had to sever it because it wasn’t healthy for me spiritually or mentally.

    If both friends aren’t willing to pitch into the relationship, it won’t hold up in a healthy way. I’m sorry that’s all I have.

    • Aw ya beat me. :)

      • Martial Artist

        Just barely. :)

    • Exactly right, bro. Just gotta do that sometimes. :'(

      • Martial Artist

        Unfortunately. Now you’ll have to forgive me for asking, but are you the guy or girl Sam? I was pretty sure that there was a Rebelutionary named Sam that was a girl.

        • Good question. I am Sam the programguy, and yes, I am a guy. @samwegner:disqus is a girl though.

        • I heard you’re a guy…right?

          Edit: Okay yep you are. Lol.

          • Martial Artist

            And I just read your bio too…I should’ve read that first lol. :)

            Thanks.

          • Haha yep. Totally okay though. :) It’s not quite obvious enough.

    • Hi Martial Artist,
      Thanks for your feedback! I will try to see if she still wants to be my friend.
      ~ Ashley

      • Martial Artist

        You’re welcome. And I’m sorry I don’t have anything better, or some light of hope at the end of the tunnel. It will really just depend on your other friend’s feelings.

        And if this doesn’t work out with your friend, I’m sorry ahead of time. But maybe God is protecting you from something, or maybe he has other plans for your situation. Once I cut ties with my friend, I know that I was mentally and spiritually revived. Not because I cut ties, but because of the negative influence that that person was having on me. I’m now in a much better position with much better friends.

        MA

  • That’s a question I’ve asked myself and others a lot over the past oh…17 months.

    I’ve had several different types of broken friendships, but I can relate to this one.

    There is a guy who I knew for about seven years before he changed churches. We were never really close friends, but he meant a ton to me because we had a lot of experiences together and I didn’t really have any close friends. He was that one guy who had just been around forever.

    I’ve only seen him a few times since then, and yeah, it’s been really awkward to try to talk to him. Honestly, I’m pretty sure there is nothing I can do to be his friend again. It’s over, and I just have to let go.

    That’s something I’ve had to do with most of my broken friendships, unfortunately. So I hate to say it, but there’s a chance you will have to also.

    I do have a little hope to offer though. I have another friend who I thought I would have to let go of also. But now after a long time of hoping and praying, I got my friend back, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

    So how do you fix a broken friendship? I don’t really know nothing I can do ever seems to help. Just pray and be patient, then in your case, keep trying to talk to her. I hope things get better between you and her soon!

    • Hi Sam,
      Wow, you’re story about the friend you had to let go is the same story with my friend. I’ve known her all my life since we went to the same church. We were not really close, but she was a nice kid to hang out with.
      I don’t like letting go friendships that are long. But maybe I should. I will see if she still wants to talk to me or be friends. Yes, I will pray. Thanks for your input. I will let you know how are things going.
      ~Ashley

      • Yeah, you can ask her. If she does, she will say yes. If she doesn’t…she still might say yes. I kind of had that happen once. But I think that would a good thing to do, because then she knows for sure what you’re thinking.

        • Thanks, Sam! Appreciate your comments.

          • You’re totally welcome. :)

          • Do you mind if I follow you?

          • Lol of course I don’t mind! Most of my followers didn’t bother to ask. Why wouldn’t I want a nice person like you in my following? :)

          • Haha thanks! It is just ’cause I’m new to Disqus, I had this account for a week.

          • Well you’ve been doing a good job with it. Haha. :)

          • Thanks. :)

          • So, how long have been on the Rebelution website?

          • So, how long have you been on the Rebelution website?

          • I started commenting here in May 2013 when Disqus was new here. I had checked it out a few months earlier when I finished reading Do Hard Things.

            After a little while though, I kind of forgot about this place and wasn’t around much. In July 2014 I really got back into it. The community was really buzzing then for a few months. Good times. I met a lot of great people here. Now this place just feels like home. :)

            Since we’re talking… I’d like to invite you to a Rebelution-inspired social network called Revive. We love “the Reb” and hang out with each other. We do a lot of discussing of spiritual topics, post prayer requests, laugh at each other, and lament that there is never enough French toast (okay..maybe that’s just me). So if you wanna check it out, it’s at http://www.revivingtheredeemed.org

          • Thanks for the invite! I will check it out. :) I just started my own blog, if you like you can check it out at: http://explorer4lyfe.weebly.com/

          • I actually already did. Hehehe. :)

          • Haha that’s funny, me too.

          • Hey Sam,
            I just registered on Revive.
            ~Ashley

          • Faith

            French toast is where it’s at. =)

          • You take nice pictures, by the way.

          • Thank you. :)

    • Faith

      Can totally relate to seeing someone as a great friend because you don’t really have any close friends. That’s so me. I have to make sure I don’t say some people are like my best friend just because their one of my closest and I’d known them a long time. Pretty much this whole situation has happened to me before.

      • Yeah… I’m sorry.

        • Faith

          Yeah, I didn’t mean to sound like I was complaining or looking for sympathy, I just wanted you to know that I’ve been through that too. :’)

          • I just know that it hurts when that happens, so it’s hard to not be sympathetic.
            How’s your week been??

          • Faith

            Good so far! How about you?

          • Lol that’s a good question. It’s been great and it’s been absolutely terrible. So let’s go with great. 😉

          • Faith

            I know, I finished working on that roof yesterday, and I didn’t fall off *applause* but I wasn’t feeling very good. I’m good now though. :)

          • A roof? Nice….

          • Faith

            What have you been up to?

          • Well not a roof! Nothing much. I’m just trying to survive, ya know?

          • Faith

            Haha, yeah, I’m trying to actually start managing my time now instead of spending hours on Pinterest and reading blog posts… like I need to have a break from everything.

          • Good job.

          • Faith

            I know, right? *pats self on back*

          • Mhm yep. (Can’t think of anything else to say to that.)

          • Faith

            Yeah… me either.

          • Faith

            BUT, I did a lot better after I wasted like the whole day after I decided to take a break. Now I just need to prioritize a little bit more. I probably need to take like a 3 week break, but I don’t know if I could handle that! =)

          • Eh, I think you can do it. :)

          • Faith

            Do what? Prioritize in the time I have left, or take a 3 week break??

          • Both! JUST. DO. IT. 😉

          • Faith

            Man! I’d rather do it quickly so I can get back on! btw sorry for being so annoying, but I’ve been bored and I miss y’all. =)

          • Wait wha?? You’re annoying now?

            Get offffff. And I will too.

          • Faith

            I think I’m just wayyy to self-conscious about everything, sorry. (There I go again) I’m gonna have to work on that if I start saying sorry for being sorry. 😉 #IknowIknow (my signature hashtag) I’m confusing. Okay I’m leaving before I confuse myself. =)

  • Regan Seba

    Maybe something that would help you is to ask these questions about that friend: Why do I want to be friends with her? Has she changed for the better since we drifted apart? Is God calling me to reach out to her? Is she interested in sparking this friendship again? And if so, what are a few key areas that we can relate?

    I have a friend whom I love dearly who is in college. Because of her schedule it’s very difficult to maintain that relationship, since I’m still a homeschooler in high school.

    This fall I learned a great deal about letting go of friendships. I am thankful that I didn’t have to let go of this friendship, but I learned about how sometimes God only calls people into our lives for a specific period of time. And then when that time is over, you have to let go. Sometimes it’s dear, dear friends that you love like siblings who have to leave. You both cry, you both laugh and hug and cry some more, and those relationships are still intact later on.

    With a broken friendship it may be time to let go. And maybe it isn’t. Perhaps God is calling you to reach out to this person again. But a prayer that I think would be helpful to pray is whether it’s time to reach out, or let go. God will answer. I prayed the same prayer about my friend in college, and God said, “It’s not time to let go. You still have a part in her journey.” I don’t know what He will tell you. Sometimes that answer is hard- I know just how hard. But it is key in seeking God’s will.

    • Hi Regan,
      Thanks for your feedback. I’m going to pray and ask God what to do for this friendship.
      Maybe it’s time I need to let go this friendship. I’ve known this girl all my life. We used to go to a bunch places together when were still in elementary school.
      ~Ashley

  • Faith

    So, I have dealt with a few broken friendships, but not a lot of them. So I’m going to use an example that I hope helps you out. There has been a family that has gone to my church for years, my whole life. And they have two sons, one is almost 2 years older than me, and the other is almost 2 years younger. I’ve always been great friends with the one who is younger than me, he’s actually been a great friend of mine growing up, but around his older brother, it was always really awkward. If you know me you know that I love people, I love talking, and one of my biggest pet peeves is awkward silence. Can you see the problem here? Well, I never wanted our friendship to be strained like that, and I really don’t even know what caused it to be like that, but recently I decided to just talk to him and not let it be awkward, and reach out to see if I could fix this friendship that had been broken almost from the start. And I can’t exactly say we’re like the best of friends or anything, but we can converse without it being weird, and I can actually treat him like I would my other friends more so. But, I have to tell you that I prayed that God would help me to fix my friendship with him so it wouldn’t be so weird, and so I could be friends with him, and He is answering that prayer. So, my biggest advice would be to pray over that person and their friendship with you, see if mending that broken relationship is what God wants you to do. And as several people have mentioned there are times that you just have to let them go. Because sometimes God brings people into our life for just a season, and that season may be over, and if it is, then pray that the Lord will help you to accept that. Hope this helps!

    • Hi Faith,
      I’m glad to hear you’re friends with the guy now. We just fell out of touch, and it is awakard to talk with my friend.
      I’m going to pray and ask her if she still wants to be my friend.
      ~Ashley

      • Faith

        I’m sorry if my comment wasn’t very helpful, but my best advice would be to pray about it. That’s about the only advice I can give that I know for sure will help. :)

        • No need to be sorry; you’re comment was helpful, and I’m going to pray for my friend.

          • Faith

            I’m glad! Little tip: I’ve found that it really helps to write down the things you want to pray for a person, like I write their name on the paper then write down the things you want to pray for them about. It really helps me, so you might be able to do that for her. It makes praying for them a lot easier, and, personally, I think it means a lot more when you pray intentionally and specifically. Hope I’ve helped you out a little bit!

          • liv737johnoxide

            I would also recommend (if you have an iPod or something) to put a reminder on your phone to pray for them at a specific time.

          • Thanks for your tip!

          • Faith

            I’ve done that before! It’s really helpful!

      • liv737johnoxide

        Good for you!

    • liv737johnoxide

      Weirdly enough (I’m an extra-introvert or an awkwardly silent person who is really crazy and loud with small groups of people I feel comfortable with), I love really introverted people because they’re like enigmas that are fun to try to get to know. It’s like a challenge! 😉

      • Sam G

        You know, I think extroverted people can be equally enigmatic sometimes. Just saying. :)

        • liv737johnoxide

          So true! Or at least people who wear extraverted masks…but those are harder to unmask.

          • Sam G

            Interesting… I never thought of that.

          • Faith

            I’m not even going to enter into this conversation, but I am going to say that (1. I have almost no idea what you are talking about. (2. I’m a mix of extrovert and introvert (more so an extrovert, though). And that’s about as deep as I get. =)

  • Okie Gal

    Hey, if you’re both saved you can relate, you’re sisters. Even when it’s awkward just be kind, everybody wants that and it could build a new friendship with her. If she’s changedoing a lot you might need to forget who she used to be a get to know her the way she is now. Even if you can’t relate, try to enjoy the things she likes so then you can.

    • Thanks Okie Gal! I will try to talk her about the stuff I think we can relate to.

      • liv737johnoxide

        Or even talk to her about her faith. Just an idea.

    • liv737johnoxide

      Sometimes, it’s not that easy though. Other Christians have different standards than you, and there’s the whole coolness thing (which pushes people away.) Sometimes, it’s hard to know if people are truly Christians or if they just call themselves that.

      • Okie Gal

        I totally agree, but if they say they’re a Christian you need to treat them like one. That alone can build a friendship where you can share the gospel. If they aren’t saved they might be changed, and if they are they’ll be encouraged. When people get adopted by the same God they have a unity that’s there no matter what. True, “coolness” is usually rooted in pride, but the point of friendship is to help each other towards godliness so it’s worth trying it, right?

  • AnnaGrace

    Along those lines, how do you hold onto the friendship when it has been “broken” by the friend becoming an atheist? She grew up in a Christian family, went thru a crisis, and in the end decided she no longer believes in God. I don’t want to just let her go–we were pretty good friends before that/I care about her–but she is extremely opposed to/offended by anyone talking to her about God.

    • Well, she is still a Christian, but she is in a public high school while I’m a home schooled high school student. I have bit different tastes than her… I’m going to talk to her and ask her frankly if she considers me her friend and I’m going to pray to God for this friend.

      • AnnaGrace

        I don’t really have an answer for this because I’m struggling with a similar thing myself (see my comment above) but know I’ll be praying for you.

        • Thanks! I will be praying for you as well. I hope everything will turn out fine.

    • liv737johnoxide

      Talk to her about God with your actions for a while until she’s ready to hear about it in words.

    • Olivia W.

      I just remembered something. If you can find an opportunity when you think she might just open up a tiny bit and listen, Cold Hard Case Christianity by J. Warner Wallace. You can check out his website too. I was slightly drifting when I heard this guy speak at a homeschool conference. He used to be an atheistic detective. He is a very smart man and realized that he had to become a christian because it was the truth. Christianity actually has more proof than atheism, despite what most people say. I regret not having taken enough notes and paid even more attention, but seriously, check out the book. If God wants to change or restore her heart through you, this book might just be a very good tool.

      • AnnaGrace

        Thanks for the recommendation!

  • Over the years I’ve had a lot of long-distance friendships. Often it’s hard when you don’t see each other for a year or several, but often it can be worth getting back in touch. I had one friend who I hadn’t seen for a year and who never replied to my emails, but I kept sending one every few months, and eventually she replied. We corresponded for a few years after that.
    I hate to let even the smallest friendship go, but I maintain them through email.
    Some friends are happy to pick up where you left off years earlier, and with others it can be much harder. Sometimes it doesn’t seem worth the discomfort and awkwardness of seeing someone who you haven’t seen or talked to for years, but I have found that it’s usually worth it!
    I recommend persevering if you can!

    • Thanks, Heather!
      I also have pen-pals too. :) I will see what I can do.

    • liv737johnoxide

      I have some friends that I hardly ever see from the private school I used to go to (I’m homeschooled now) and it’s not like our friendships have been broken. We have a blast whenever we’re together.

      • Yeah, I have a lot of friends who I only see once every year or a few, but usually the awkwardness of getting back together after so long is outweighed by the fun we have together. Friends who are willing to pick up where you left off are great.

  • Clare

    Hi A.!

    Does your friend still act like she wants to be your friend? Like, does she make an effort to talk to you at all? If your answer is ‘No’ then maybe you shouldn’t try to peruse this friendship. A friendship is like a marriage. If your husband/wife doesn’t try to spend time together, then what kind of “marriage” is it? In fact, can it even be called a marriage? In order to have a friendship, you really need to set aside time to be with your friend or just to chat. Even text!

    Recently, I went through a loss of friendship. My VERY BEST friend as a matter of fact. We had been friends for forever. We can’t even remember how we met. We would always sit next to each other, chat away on the phone for hours (if we could get away with it), and do activities together. And this went on throughout the friendship that we had. Now, I was pulled out of school and began homeschooling. So, that everyday 7-hour contact was dissolved. However, we did still see each other and plan play dates and all of that girly stuff that girls do. A couple of months ago, I realized that it had been a while since we had seen each other. Like, ACTUALLY saw each other. I mean, we would occasionally see each other at Sunday Mass and we would wave and our faces would light up at the sight of each other but we didn’t actually schedule play dates anymore. We didn’t chat on the phone as much and we didn’t do girly things. I didn’t even realize that our friendship was falling apart. I saw my friend walk into the evening Mass service and I waved and smiled from my position in the pew. She saw me but she didn’t wave back. My world shattered right there in Mass. Silently, of course. That whole Mass I was just contemplating everything. ‘Why didn’t she wave?’ I thought. I told my mother who is the expert with all of this dramatic stuff and she thought that I should write a letter to my lifelong friend. I sent this short, simple letter and waited and waited and waited. I thought that maybe she just wasn’t going to respond to my letter. Maybe it was a sign that she didn’t want to be my friend. Just as I thought about that, my friend’s letter arrived in our mailbox. Part of the letter she wrote back to me said,”I still consider you a friend.” Those were the best words that I had EVER heard. I was really emotional about this whole thing. I was so excited and we started writing back and forth to each other, just like old times. Now, we’re both in 8th grade and in our religion we go on a retreat in 8th grade. All of the 8th graders from every single place in my town went to this retreat because it was mandatory. I saw everyone from my school. All of my old classmates. Sadly, I could only call 2 of them my friends. But at least I had my renewed friendship, right? Since all of the girls were together during this retreat, I saw a lot of my friend. The sad thing was though, during this whole retreat which lasted 2 days, she said about 5 sentences worth of words. I realized then that my friendship was never renewed when we wrote those letters. We might have been friends while we were writing them but other than that there was absolutely nothing between us. I know that she still thinks that we’re friends, but really we’re not. Our friendship is over in my opinion. She doesn’t put in the time to be a friend.

    From my story, you can pretty much see that it takes 2 people to have a friendship. Like Heather C. said, if you can preserve the friendship, then do it! But if you feel like this friendship is becoming 1 sided, then I think you would be wise to end it. It will spare you a lot of pain.

    I hope my story and my bit of advice can help you and I hope that your friendship can be rekindled!

    -Clare

    • She does talk to me now and then. I actually saw last Saturday at my church, and she commented on she liked the dress I was wearing, and that was it. I don’t really text her, but I will try to do it.
      Thanks for your feedback!
      ~Ashley

      • Clare

        You’re welcome Ashley! I hope my small advice helped you in some way. I will be praying about your friendship!

      • liv737johnoxide

        Texting is the best! My best friend lives like 45min away so we don’t see each other THAT often, but we text at least everyday and it’s awesome. Also, try not to read into things. Just because someone doesn’t say hi to you, doesn’t invite you to something, or does something inconsiderate that doesn’t mean they don’t love you or aren’t your friend.

        • Yeah, definitely! I don’t always do a good job showing my friends that I love them.

          • Stephen M.

            Hey Sam and John! There was an all-day activity that teens here in Brazil and I went to, and man, talk about a lot of sunburn!

            Anyways, I decided to move to this DQ to talk to you because the other one is getting really crowded.

            I have a prayer request that you (if possible) can pray about. I have a great friend that I met in school on our missionary furlough…..his name is Karsten (who lives in Virginia). I just heard about it, but apparently he received a serious injury. He was in so much pain that he was brought to the hospital. The injury is so bad that, besides Karsten being brought to the hospital, is being treated with immediate surgery. Please pray for him as he goes through with it. Thankfully, though, he’s a Christian.

            Thanks! By the way, quick question…..how old are each of you? I’m just curious, but since I told you guys my age; I thought that maybe you could tell me yours. If you don’t want to, then it’s perfectly all right :)

            By the way, thanks for being such awesome Christian friends!!!

          • liv737johnoxide

            I’m the same age as you now.

          • I’ve been praying for Karsten. I just didn’t get a chance to reply to this earlier.

            I’m about two years older than you.

          • Stephen M.

            Cool! I thought that you were 18-20 years old :)

          • Stephen M.

            Hey, Sam! Sorry it’s been so long since I last talked to you, but I really have to know some info about DQs. I’m hoping to email my DQ in a week or two, but I need to ask if I either just send in the DQ with the info about it underneath or do I have to include all four of the requirements to submit stuff??? Also, could you maybe give me an outline-like form of what I need to write in the email? It would be a great help. Thanks!

          • I could email you one of the ones I’ve sent. Hmm. Could you drop me an email at *info at revivingtheredeemed.org*?

          • Stephen M.

            Before I do that, do you want me to give you my email or give a copy of the email for my DQ? Also, I’ll have to try that tomorrow because I have to go now…maybe tomorrow!

          • You could just give me your email. That would be perfect.

          • Stephen M.

            Quick thing, there haven’t been any updates as to how Karsten is doing, so I ask that you’ll keep praying for him.

          • MimeforJesus

            Hey, I’m new to this convo, but I just wanted to let you know I’ll be praying for Karsten!

          • Stephen M.

            Thanks a lot :)

          • Stephen M.

            I didn’t say this earlier, but it really helps to know that other Christians are praying for Karsten.

          • MimeforJesus

            Yes, I’ve asked people to pray for friends like that, too. These Rebbers are awesome like that, always happy to pray. :)

  • thatcher jane

    I have the same problem, so I can’t give an answer

    • It’s all right.. :) We can all pray for our friends.

      • liv737johnoxide

        And we all have similar issues with friendships I think.

  • I had an issue last summer where I was mad at my friend for never replying or making an effort in the friendship. I was the back bone and it drove me insane. I was bitter and I wanted her to know how angry I was and how I wasn’t going to let her get away with it. She texted me once and I smiled. Vengeance was mine. Says me. Well I talked to another friend who was bitter against another girl and we sorta fed each other. Well one night in youth group, our teacher brought up a new lesson on Forgiveness. This was a 4 week lesson. Wow. That hit hard. Well after the first or second lesson ( my friend had decided to forgive the other girl ) I decided to do so. One night I was up late making a letter. I wrote my anger and annoyedness but stated that iit wasnt her fault. I crumpled that letter up in the morning ( it happened to be over 4 pages). The next night I did the same thing. Nope that was too vulnerable. Finally the third night I had my letter. I folded my letter in half and stuck it with the rest of the mail because I didnt want my mom to see that I was finally giving in ( Hey I had a reputation yanno! lol). I was putting everything on the line when I handed my dad the stack of mail that needed to go out. The next day she called me ( after receiving the letter) And she had No. Idea. She was so sorry and I told her not to worry about it and that it was fine. Our friendship isnt the same ( she wasnt the greatest influence either), but I am not holding on to bitterness like I did before.

    • liv737johnoxide

      Amazing testimony! And. . .do you like Frozen?

      • Hahaha sorta. My sisters watched it enough so I got an app for them to make photos of themelves but then I sorta made a picture myelf.. Do you like dogs? lol

        • liv737johnoxide

          I like dogs, and Frozen!

    • liv737johnoxide

      Gossip always hurts.

      • Sam G

        It certainly does.

  • Nicholas Kaplan

    Try to re-invite her out to church, talk to her see if you can connect in any way.

  • Leah

    Friendships are hard. Letting go of friendships can be even harder. I got very close to a girl a couple years ago, and it was probably the only time I’ve ever had someone I could my best friend. We connected, and it was beautiful, because only God could have planned such an unlikely relationship between two people whose lives were so drastically different. A year or so later, she cut me off completely. It was just over, and we weren’t friends anymore. I guess you could say it was her fault, but there were certain situations that greatly influenced her, so I don’t find it fair to pin the blame on either one of us. It was hard, to say the least. But God was pretty clear that at least for now, our time in each other’s lives is over. This friend wasn’t a Christian so it was particularly hard to let go, knowing how few good influences she had (although at the time, her personal intentions were certainly on the right track) and wondering if I could have done more.
    I think as far as mending a broken friendship, it’s worth a try. But if God says no, don’t dwell on it. And don’t ignore it, either. Patience is necessary to friendship and you won’t just automatically be friends again, but I think sometimes we intentionally blindside ourselves to get what we want (i.e. continue the friendship and push on even when it becomes unhealthy) and that’s the worst thing we can do. Absolutely, it’s hard to let go, if that’s how it turns out. But you have to trust that God is using this for good in your life AND your friend’s. And keep praying for her, even if you don’t end up close.

  • Olivia W.

    Wow. This sounds almost exactly like what I would say. I used to be friends with a girl at church, then I started going to a different church, we emailed each other less and less, and then four months ago she stopped talking to me at all. Then out of the blue, she sends me a random video of her and my other used-to-be friend eating lunch. I was really puzzled on how to respond to that, especially since I had already accepted that we weren’t really friends anymore. I look forward to reading the comments in a second.

    • liv737johnoxide

      Prayed for you. Do you think they are trying to make you jealous?

      • Olivia W.

        Thank you :) No, it was a very complicated situation that involved parents and adults, (and it wasn’t about us). I was hurt by it, but she didn’t understand. I’m not trying to sound stuck up, but I’m more mature than she is. I really just think that she doesn’t understand that I was hurt by what went on, that it’s sad for me to see two people who used to be my friends when I’m lonely now, and that you can’t just not talk to someone for four months and then expect for them to still be a best friend. She was a kind and fun friend, she just…. didn’t get it.

        • liv737johnoxide

          It seems like everyone is lonely in the teen years, but for some reason we don’t get that we could just no be lonely if we chose to love each other and be considerate of each other. I’m sorry for you!

  • liv737johnoxide

    I think a lot of people can relate to this. Often times lack of keeping in touch can break relationships rather than a real argument or any disagreement or anything. I don’t think you need to feel bad about letting a friendship go (even if it’s hard.) I know I had a friendship that I thought would last forever (our kids would be best friends, we would be in each other’s wedding parties, etc.) Well, it doesn’t look like that anymore, but it’s okay as long as it’s not from some disagreement or hurt. And even when it does involve hurt, if the other person doesn’t want the relationship to be healed, there’s only so much you can do. You can try to reach out with them, but you can only do what they let you.

    • Stephen M.

      Hey John! I wanted to say that I might email you this week, but other than that, I’ll have to talk to you on Friday. Also, did you see the prayer request I gave to Sam? If not, the request is a little below me. Thanks!

      • Stephen M.

        Below this comment I mean.

  • I haven’t read all the comments…But I’ve read a few and they’ve given a lot of good advice! So I’ll just say personally, I’ve had it happen where a friend and I were still close after we went through a lot of change. We were able to work through that change and still remain friends. But I’ve had other times, one girl in particular, who is no longer really my friend because we are polar opposites and like you said, can’t relate to each other…It’s not that we don’t like each other anymore, it’s just that we’re SO different we just don’t know waht to do or talk about when we’re together…At first, losing this frienship was really tough because she was one of my best friends! But after a while, God gave me new friends that were able to meet me where I’m at and understand me more. =) So I say all that to say, like others have said, sometimes a relationship can look past differences and other times they can’t. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong when you can’t get past the differences, maybe it just means God’s time for you both as firends is over and he will bring you new friends. So, I KNOW it’s hard, but if you find you can’t work past the changes in each other, then you might just have to let the friendship go…hard as that is…I’ll be praying for you!

    • Thanks Megan! Actually I’m going to talk her and ask her if we are still friends. I won’ mind that much if she says no. :)

  • Stephen M.

    The best suggestion that I have for you is to pray about it, but as for actually doing something about it (besides praying), I can give some advice. First, if your friend isn’t a Christian, then I suggest that you keep it that way. I’m not saying that you should just “delete” the friends or used-to-be friends out of your life, but I am saying that wrong friends can influence your life negatively. Don’t forget that those friends still need the Savior! Second, if the other person IS a Christian, then I’ll say that you should see if there was an argument or something similar that was between you and your “friend” and simply ask forgiveness. Finally, if nothing else works, then find new friends. Sometimes, it can be a pain to do that, but the Lord WILL help you! Again, the best thing possible is to pray!

  • Hey guys thanks for all the great advice! I just wanted to give you a update. I texted my friend, and asked her if we are still friends. She said we still are. Thanks for praying!
    Ashley

    • Great!

      • Thanks Sam :)

        • Stephen M.

          Quick thanks for upvoting me! Anytime something bothers you, just tell me. I’ll be happy to help!

      • Stephen M.

        Hi again, Sam! Today is definitely a wonderful Lord’s day!

        If you think that I talk way to much, just tell me, but what I really wanted to ask is…Can you ask the Brazilian person if it’s all right to use his/her name? Obviously, if the person only speaks Portuguese, then you can’t. Also, did you receive my prayer request about Karsten? It should be in your email. Also, I think we should keep on talking to Aiden about his need for Christ. He, as well the rest of the unsaved, need the Lord desperately, whether they think they do or not!

        Anyways, I’ll talk to you on Friday, if not later today! Seriously, if you think that I am talking to you to much, then just say so.

    • Stephen M.

      That’s awesome! It just goes to show that the Lord answers prayer and helps His children through everything!!! Indeed, Jesus is a wonderful helper.

    • Stephen M.

      Hi! Just curious, but how do I upvote other people?

      • Click the up arrow next to the down arrow next to the reply button. :)

        • Stephen M.

          If I don’t give you my email today, then you’ll have to wait until either Thursday or Friday. I just tried to sign up in revivingtheredeemed.org, and it says that my account isn’t approved yet, so…..what now? Do I just wait?

          • You wait for me. Haha. You can get in now. :)

          • Stephen M.

            Yeah……………thx for telling me earlier :) So I guess you now have my email…thx! So I’ll wait for an email about DQ’s…how do I create a web anyways??? If you can do it, then, with some help, I can…I’ll explain later. Talk to you later this week then!

          • How do you create a web? What do you mean?

            I’ll send you the DQ stuff on Revive when I get a chance.

          • Stephen M.

            I mean…as in how to create something like Revive. Thx again!

          • Um…okay. Basically just get a web server, set up HumHub, and do a little magic.

          • Stephen M.

            Cool! I hope you had a great Thanksgiving; I know I did :)

            Btw, thanks for the email on Revive…it somewhat helped clear some things. Sorry if I caused too much trouble on the DQ topic…I mean, I went to the submission page and saw that all the requirements (the bio in third-person, the photo of myself,…) were only for stories, articles, and projects………I had thought that they were also for DQs. Sorry about that! I’ll try to send the DQ within the nxt week or so (if possible).

            Also, how to I do stuff on Revive??? I mean stuff such as sending mail and notifications. Thanks a bunch!

          • How do you do stuff on Revive? Um….. I’m not sure how to answer a question like that. To send a private message, go to the “Messages” area and click the button the create a new one. Or just reply to one you already have.

          • Stephen M.

            Ok, I’ll have to do it tomorrow though…thanks! Btw, weird question, what’s your opinion on my time for Revive and the Reb? Half and half? I want to be on both for as much time as possible….

            Anyways, I’ll talk tomorrow.

          • Well. I don’t know. Just be where you want to be. I don’t want to take away from the Reb.

          • Stephen M.

            Hey, Sam!!!!!!! Sorry that it’s been so long since I last was on the Reb…we’ve been having weird things happening with our Wi-Fi, but it now works.

            Sam, I seriously don’t like bothering you with so many questions, but I still haven’t sent my DQ yet. I wanted to confirm to see if it’s the following format:

            Subject title is the DQ

            Stephen M writes:……………….

            Is that the way to write the email? If so, then I’ll try to send it as quickly as possible. Thanks!

            Btw, how is Christmas decorating starting for you?

          • That works just fine.

          • Stephen M.

            Thanks a million!

      • It is pretty easy.You just click on the up arrow and then you will get an Upvote. :)

          • Stephen M.

            Thx for making it SOOO obvious!!! :)

          • Haha sorry about that.

          • Stephen M.

            Happy Thanksgiving! Early, but might as well say it now!

          • Happy Thanksgiving to you to! It’s ok; I wrote about Thanksgiving on my blog two weeks ago. :)

          • Stephen M.

            Hey! So how was your Thanksgiving? Since I am a MK in southern Brazil, my family asked all the missionaries around to come to our house for Thanksgiving. Most of them did come, and talk about the best food! Some of the desserts were the following: delicious pumpkin pie, amazing chocolate pudding pie with cream on top, sweet pecan pie, and so on…am I making you hungry? :) :) :)

          • Cool! I had an interesting Thanksgiving, and there was a lot of variety of food ( American, Mexican, and Filipino) I never had pecan pie but according to you it sounds great. So you know how to speak Portuguese or Spanish since you live in Brazil?

          • Stephen M.

            Well, Spanish is more for the countries around Brazil, so we speak Poruguese here. Even though my family has been on the mission field for about 10 years, I STILL can’t speak Portuguese without stuttering or messing up…I guess I should just trust the Lord to help me :)

          • Wow, 10 years is a long time. :)

  • PriddyInPink

    This has happened to me before. It is one the hardest things in the world. But here is what I do for what it counts.
    First of all, I try to remember that I’ve probably changed too. It’s not just her. Maybe at one point I was into whatever she is into now. So I try to remember that time. Like She might have been into photography, and I was into books, but now I’m into books, and she’s into photography.
    The second thing is, try to understand her. She might say “I can’t hang out with you right now.” Don’t think she doesn’t like you anymore! She’s probably busy. It happens.
    Third of all, when you don’t see someone in a long time, it can be AWKWARD! I’ve seen old friends at the store/party/dance. It’s awkward! You don’t know what to say. She doesn’t know what to say. It’s weird. It happens. But afterwards, call her or email her and say “it was good to see you again! I’ve missed you. I hope next time we see each other we’ll be able to actually talk.”
    Well I hope this helps. Let me know what you think! 😀

    • @disqus_3Q7Hg1I0ZB:disqus Thanks for your advice. I’ve talk to her now and then. I things are getting a little better now…
      I totally relate with the awkward part. 😛

      • PriddyInPink

        Think everyone can relate to the awkward part😕 But I’m very glad it’s getting better! 😊

  • drummer/Godfollower/LOTRfan

    Okay, so i have this friend from homeschool activites (band and football), and we were pretty close, hung out together a lot, but he was becoming a bad influence on me (disrespectful, inappropriate at times, etc.) and because i loved him i really wanted to bring him back to the way things used to be (clean friendships, Godly convos, etc.) But i’ve really felt God telling me to let him go, pray for him, but let him go. So what would this look like, i mean do i just tell him that he’s headed down the wrong path and sort of call him out, or what should i do?

    • Marie

      I have had a relationship like that as well. In the end, even though I loved her, I had to cut ties with her. I tried taking her to church, reading the Bible with her, and telling her what I was and was not comfortable with, but her actions kept persisting, and kept dragging me in. I was trying to live a Christian life, but it was so hard with her bad influence and my bad decisions. Even though it broke my heart at the time, I look back on my decision now and realize I did what was best for me. This is not how everyone feels, and you may decide to do something else, but that was my experience. Hope this helps :)

      • drummer/Godfollower/LOTRfan

        Thanks for the advice!

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