rebelling against low expectations
Imagine being with the disciples after the death and burial of Jesus. They had spent three years coming to know and love this Man. He had taught them, laughed with them, cried with them–he had done life with them. Not only this, but they had given up everything for him. They had left behind their trades, families, and the lifestyles they’d known to follow the One they believed to be the...
I asked God to break me. Little did I know then what the consequences of that prayer would be. I asked God to break me before Him. To create an environment where He was all that I had and He was all that I needed. I wanted to grow in huge ways in a short amount of time. I wanted to feel the presence of God like never before. Out of the blue, life took its toll and left me alone and hurting. Due...
Often the best things come the hardest. The most worthwhile things come at the greatest cost. And what we need most is what we want least in the moment. But God knows best. And he surely knew what he was doing this February when he decided to do some heart renovation on me! Through friends and quiet time with him, he revealed some uncomfortable things about myself—things that were incredibly...
Changes are hard. No one is going to argue with you on that one, I guarantee it. Moving, school changes, college, jobs, losing friends and making new ones, health issues, family problems; all of it’s overwhelming and no one ever likes it. This world is filled with pain. Our human bodies are sinful in nature and prone to experience hurt. So what do you do when you feel like you are breaking? Is...
I felt a twinge of jealousy crawling up my spine as I stared at the words on my computer screen. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. A friend of mine had just received her very first book contract. My heart immediately sank inside my chest. I wanted to be happy for her. I wanted to be excited. However, I was anything but excited. I was jealous, frustrated, and angry. Her accomplishment was...
Life is complex. It is a fluid, ever-changing being that holds more questions than answers, more choices than assurances, and more ends than beginnings. Struggles and pains are birthed alongside loves and joys—two sides always fighting to outweigh the other. This paradox, this balance, this battle, penetrates the nature of life. It is the question of good versus evil. One of my favorite books...
You’ve prayed. You’ve cried. You’ve hoped. And still the answer is wait. In those moments where it seems God’s only answer is wait, and there is no end in sight, what do you do? Why does it seem we so often receive that answer for things we so desperately long for? Why is it so hard to trust when God does say “not now, my child”? When we don’t receive the answers we so desperately wish, it is...
Stop Striving. Just Rest. I obsess over checklists. I love New Year’s Resolutions. I revel in beating a deadline. I defend my 4.0 grade point. But all my striving often leads to let down. I am crushed when I fail to achieve my goals. I beat myself up mercilessly when I feel that I have failed. My overly intense personality manifests itself in physical symptoms. My shoulders and neck are often...
I shivered as I read. I knew that many of Christ’s apostles and early disciples were heavily persecuted; but I wasn’t prepared for the gruesome deaths detailed on the pages before me. I closed my eyes, but couldn’t remove the gory pictures from my mind. Stoned. Fed to lions. Burned as torches. And worse. Would you do it for me, Anna? I hesitated. Tears filled my eyes. Lord, I don’t know if I...
Do you ever feel like you receive so much insight and depth in your relationship with God, and other times, it feels so…dry? I grew up in Southern California, so I’m quite familiar with what it’s like to go through a drought, and what it’s like when the drought ends, and rain finally comes again. I often think of my spiritual life as being like that weather…sometimes it’s really dry and hardly...
rebelling against low expectations
