rebelling against low expectations
In my previous article, I talked about Third Culture Kids (TCKs) and their crazy, cross-cultural, and highly mobile lives. I also wrote about why understanding TCKs and being a friend to them is significant. But how can one be a good friend to a TCK… someone who struggles with maintaining deep friendships? How can one be a friend to someone so different? Here are nine ways to be a friend to a TCK...
“Do you want to go to a ladies’ brunch at my church tomorrow morning?” It was ten o’clock at night when Abby’s text came, and I deliberated. I had an insane to-do list for tomorrow. But I was trying to be intentional about reaching out and making friends, so I said yes. That morning, we arrived at her church and Maria met us at the door. Maria had some of the deepest laughter wrinkles I’d ever...
At some point in our lives, we’re going to become friends with someone, then later realize that he or she isn’t a believer. So…what do we do? Do we look past their belief (or unbelief) and pretend we don’t care? Do we just go on with our relationship as though it doesn’t matter? That’s certainly not the loving thing to do. If that person is not a born-again believer in Jesus, he is heading...
In a crowded room my friend sat down next to me, looked me in the eyes, and asked me the exact question I didn’t know I needed to answer. It was 12am PST (3am EST) and still, without hesitation, I called my best friend to confess sin, to cry, and to seek comfort. When I endured test after test and still had no diagnosis, my friends laid their hands on me and prayed fervently for answers. I have...
In J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, Frodo doesn’t make it on his own. His journey throughout the story is a long, tough one, and he only succeeds because he shares his journey with the fellowship of the ring: the companions who stand by him, with him, and fight for him. As I read the story, one of these companions quickly became one of my favorite fictional characters: Frodo’s trusty...
Tears. Again and again. Fear. Fear that the vicious cycle will send you tumbling off your feet once more. Friendships involve edging out of the shadows and into the piercing light. Friendships involve risk. A lot of risk. Friendships sometimes tear your heart to pieces, while at other times, build you up tremendously. While they come with their fair share of pain, friendships are so worth it. But...
“What is life going to be without them?” I was in tears as I talked to my mom. “They’re the best family ever. Why do they have to move?” I wasn’t ready for our dearest friends to move to California, a thousand miles away, with no hope they’d ever come back. We led a church together. All of us kids were close. I had the worst crush on their eldest son, and our parents had a deep friendship. I...
Vulnerability. If you’re like me, even the word scares you. Vulnerability involves risk. It involves opening up to someone and thus giving them ways to hurt you. It involves trusting someone. Trusting can be hard, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. But without trust, life—particularly the Christian life—gets ten times harder. However, there are still several reasons to encourage our...
“Hey! How are you doing?” a friend asks as she swiftly walks by. “I’m fine. How are you?” is the inevitable response shot back with almost no second thought. “I’m good,” she replies with a smile that serves as a mask shrouding a wounded heart. Being real is unpopular. Many times we would rather keep our struggles and temptations to ourselves and...
“Be okay with missing out,” I told a living room full of middle school girls. “You don’t have to be a part of every single activity or conversation.” We were talking about friendship, but the concept is relevant to so many areas of our lives: be okay with missing out. Easier said than done, I know. We want to be a part of everything. We want to be a part of not only conversations and activities...
rebelling against low expectations
