rebelling against low expectations
“I can’t, but thanks for the invite.” The sentence echoes on my lips, spoken to more people than I remember. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to say no. I thrive on adventure and exploration. I’m a social butterfly. And yet, I’ve said so many no’s I never wanted to. I wasn’t always this way. But when I first got sick as a young teen, I watched as “out of sight, out of mind” became a...
My mother was adamant. “You’ve started to wrap your whole identity up in, ‘I’m sick. I can’t do that.’ That’s not healthy!” Her words shocked me: because they were true. I was sick. There were many things I couldn’t do. But it had become my identity. It’s not as if I wasn’t actually ill. This week I had spent more time in bed than out, unable to convince my exhausted body to simply shower. It had...
How do you do hard things…when you can’t even get out of bed? Sara Willoughby—long-time rebelutionary and author of He’s Making Diamonds: A Teen’s Thoughts on Faith Through Chronic Illness—was given a few months to live at the age of 15. Over the course of several years, she was diagnosed with Lyme disease, toxic mold poisoning, and MCS. In this honest and vulnerable conversation, we talk about...
My heart broke as yet another chronically ill teen unwittingly voiced questions and struggles I’d heard over and over again. Most of us don’t know it, but we all seem to have the same questions. Perhaps there are some variations in wording and scenarios, but those questions you are ashamed to verbalize? So many others have wondered the same things. You know what? It’s okay to ask those questions...
Chronic illness is one of the hardest things to ever happen to me. It’s also one of the best. I know, that probably doesn’t make sense. Chronic illness doesn’t sound like a “good” thing. Hard things generally don’t seem good. I didn’t think it was a good thing when I got sick. But, as time has gone on and my mindset has changed, I’ve realized what a gift it is. Maybe I just needed to redefine...
Scrolling through my old Instagram posts, I hesitated over one in particular. In that post, I made how sick I’d been public. It was pre-diagnoses, when the only thing doctors were telling me was that it was anxiety (it wasn’t). That was a very dark time in my life. I was at peace, yes, but that doesn’t change how dark it sometimes got—and sometimes still is. A lot of people told me things like...
“God, please show me how to live with this!” Three years earlier, Jesus had captured my heart and I was excited about new opportunities he was giving me to serve him. But as my health deteriorated through the next year and a half, one thing after another was taken from my life. Now, laying bed-bound at home, sick, helpless, and grieving, I prayed for God to show me how to live with this chronic...
Several years ago I got sick. The thing about this sickness was that I didn’t get better. Days dragged into weeks and weeks dragged into months until the months turned into years. Still there was no sure end in sight. Some days are harder than others. My illness plays games with my brain and I start to forget things and feel like the world is closing in on me. I get confused and it is hard for me...
Confession: I haven’t seen Endgame. Okay, no, that’s not the confession (though it is true). The confession is I haven’t even seen Infinity War. And it’s not because I don’t want to — far from it! Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I’m a Lord of the Rings-Star Wars-Marvel kind of girl. (Not DC. Sue me.) But then the doctor said no. No, you can’t watch action movies anymore. Sara, it’s...
I really like being in control. I always have. I enjoy knowing exactly what is happening, when it is happening, why it is happening, and how I can change it. I know everyone values different things, but I’m pretty sure most people can relate to some extent. Because of my obsessive (and often sinful) desire for control, there was one question that graced my lips more often than any other. Why...
rebelling against low expectations
