rebelling against low expectations
I saw him before he noticed me. He looked as tired, nervous, and excited as I felt, his head turning back and forth, looking for me. I hurried to the edge of the crowd, waiting for Peter to make his way through. It had been six long months of blurry video calls, calculating time zones, and missing milestones. Have you been there? Are you there now? He turned the corner, and wrapped me in a sweaty...
“Oh, one other thing!” I momentarily paused my pacing and tried to find the words to say. “You still think of me platonically, right?” The silence stretched way too long. “Uh oh.” I slid to the hard, cold floor. Peter and I were friends. Good friends. We encouraged and challenged each other, prayed for each other, and gave each other relationship advice about other people. “Well . . .” As Peter...
How do I pay for Christmas gifts? How do I pay for gas? How will I support myself when I graduate? What job should I get? Have I saved enough for college? Should I take out student loans? Is my budget realistic? What will happen if I accidentally mess up my taxes? We have endless questions (and fears) about finances. I was terrified as I prepared to move out and support myself for the first time...
“I can’t, but thanks for the invite.” The sentence echoes on my lips, spoken to more people than I remember. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to say no. I thrive on adventure and exploration. I’m a social butterfly. And yet, I’ve said so many no’s I never wanted to. I wasn’t always this way. But when I first got sick as a young teen, I watched as “out of sight, out of mind” became a...
“It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.” – Albus Dumbledore “Sara, I wish that you had invited me.” We sat across from each other, afternoon light playing with the steam rising from our mugs of tea. I uncomfortably folded the tea bag tag into a tiny square. Erin and I were serving on the same ministry team, and God had been...
Am I really a writer if I’m not writing? Another line marked, another due date on my calendar, but I was coming up empty. My fingers danced in the air above my keyboard without landing. I was a writer who couldn’t write. It wasn’t just that I had no ideas or no motivation. It wasn’t only the fears, doubts, and what-ifs. I was empty. I had nothing to say. During a decade of blogging, I’ve...
He was tired, burnt out, and needed a good meal. I couldn’t give him a hug. He was graduating! I couldn’t cheer or take pictures or bring him a gift. It was his birthday. I couldn’t make him a cake or throw him a party. And so instead, I stared at a circle, leg bouncing, waiting for the call to reconnect. Wishing I could be there for him. Wishing I could take care of him. Wishing I could do...
My heart broke as yet another chronically ill teen unwittingly voiced questions and struggles I’d heard over and over again. Most of us don’t know it, but we all seem to have the same questions. Perhaps there are some variations in wording and scenarios, but those questions you are ashamed to verbalize? So many others have wondered the same things. You know what? It’s okay to ask those questions...
My younger brother is successful in almost everything he does. His lawn mowing business as a pre-teen. His filmmaking career as a teenager. Finding an amazing wife, he married when he was 19. His track college scholarship. The guy faces challenges and excels. He’s intelligent, athletic, and charismatic. It’s incredible. I’m proud. But also, sometimes I’m jealous. Everyone wants to hear what...
Dear Teenager Who Doesn’t Know What To Do With Their Life, First, take a deep breath. In. Out. There you go. My heart goes out to you for the weight on your shoulders. I get it. I was on my knees this morning, asking God why. You see, I made a plan about what to do next with my life, but last night it fell through — again. I paced the living room. Tears might come later, but last night I was just...
rebelling against low expectations
