Worthless. Ugly.
These thoughts dominated my mind for a long time after a painful rejection by a boy in February 2017. I have always struggled with spiritual perfectionism (as have most Christians), but this new emotion sparked a degree of physical perfectionism in me. After that incident, I hated what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Although a lot of people told me that I was beautiful, I did not think that they meant it. And worse yet, I developed an eating disorder because no matter how hard I tried, I did not see a thin, slender girl, which I am. I saw someone who had something wrong with her that had to be fixed.
My Christian life was not thriving, either. I was desperate for the Biblical truths that I had learned, and I was clinging onto them for dear life as a single glimmer of hope in a massive abyss of spiritual decay, but each time I sat in church on Sunday, I felt as though I was a “bad Christian” because I didn’t think I was pretty and slender. And everybody around me seemed to like the way they looked.
But as time goes on and my heart has healed (not completely, but I’m getting there), I’ve seen that I think that I have looked at the situation the wrong way. I won’t say that I had some “spiritual revelation” because that didn’t happen, but I believe that through the painful process of healing from a broken heart, God has opened me up to a truth about a lie that I have been duped with over the past nine months:
God cares for physical beauty.
We would like to think that God looks at who has the thinnest waist or the fairest face. But the truth is that God cares nothing for outward appearance, as 1 Samuel 16:7 tells us:
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
I believe that this is a verse that we often glaze over, but in reality, it is a grave warning. When you believe the lie that God looks for physical beauty, it ceases to be a relationship, which is a dangerous spot to be in.
What God does care about is who you are on the inside, and that looks like loving Him and loving others, for as 1 Corinthians 13 says:
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.And if I have prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.If I give away everything I own, and if I give over my body in order to boast, but do not have love, I receive no benefit.
This also applies to beauty. I believe that Paul could also say, “If I have perfect curves and a flawless face, but do not love, I have accomplished nothing.”
God commands us to love Him and love others, and when we do, we have accomplished what His wishes for us are. And you will never be insufficient for Him.
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“And everybody around me seemed to like the way they looked.” I’m very much prone to comparison, and this is often a HUGE struggle for me! This is an excellent, very encouraging post.
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I love your thoughts on this, Joye! It’s so hard with all the messages in the world of not being pretty enough, good enough, or accepted, and I feel the same way sometimes. But It’s amazing to know that God doesn’t focus on outward appearance, and His opinion of us is really what matters. ♥
Thank you so much! I completely agree. And this sort of thing can lead to other sin, which I perhaps will discuss in a later submission. This is also my first article on the Reb, and I’m so excited, except for that they spelled my name wrong. My last name is Everett, but without the extra “e” at the end. 🙁 Thank you again!
Oh, thank you! I am so glad it encouraged you! 😀
You’re welcome! I’d love to see more from you. And woops! I’m sure they’d change it for you.
Thank you! And I will email soon. I’m actually really nervous about talking to the admins here for some odd reason. During the few times Brett and Jaquelle and I have interacted they’ve been super nice.
You’re welcome! I’ve chatted with them and they’re all SUPER nice. You’ll be fine! And yes, Brett and Jaquelle are great. 🙂
Great job! I needed this today. It is always good to know that God has made us the way we are. We are creations made by the Almighty God. If you think about it this way you realise that to think of yourself as ‘ugly’ or such terms is not only wrong, but would be the equivalent of insulting God’s work. We often forget the last few chapters of Job, where God points out His Power, and our own smallness. God is powerful indeed, let us therefore not belittle the works of His hands.
Great Article Joye! Hope to see some more writing from you soon!
PS. Jaquelle have written an article discussing the same topic, that is also a great read!
Take care, Pieter
Thank you! 😀 glad it encouraged you
Thank you! Glad it encouraged you!