CI WRITES: I find it much, much harder to forgive people who have wronged my loved ones than if they had wronged me. What can I do to help myself?
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I can greatly relate to you on this. It hurts much more if they hurt my loved ones than if they hurt me.
God often gives us challenges that we can’t face on our own, so that we have to go to Him for help. This is probably one of them. You can’t forgive those people on your own, so you have to ask God to help you. I understand that this seems like a cheesy answer, but I really believe that God is the only way to truly forgive someone who has wronged us or our loved ones.
I know what you mean! Christy is right: it’s only possible with God’s
strength. I know that’s a bit hard to apply, though, so here are some more specific
ideas.
Practice crushing angry thoughts about the person and try to see them as a
person loved by God who makes mistakes like you and me. (Think about the incredible forgiveness of Christ towards us.) If you are constantly
thinking bitterly of them, you will go backwards.
Along with cultivating loving thoughts, if you can, treat them lovingly. Ask
your family to keep you accountable not to criticize or gossip about the
hurtful person.
Check with the loved one who has been hurt: chances are they were not as upset
about it as you are. Perhaps if they are forgiving (or if they need your help
to forgive) it will help you along.
Keep in mind Matthew 6:15 “But if you do not forgive others their sins,
your Father will not forgive your sins.” (I’m sure that verse has more
context and meaning than is apparent, but you could look it up.)
Forgiving is a process that takes time and effort. You may have to forgive
again and again and again. Corrie Ten Boom did too. Her example is inspiring.
When I visited her house in Amsterdam, the woman giving the tour said something very simple. When faced with difficult people, we have a choice: we can become “bitter or better.” Don’t waste the opportunity God has given you to become better, because it’s a gift.
You said it all!! I have nothing really to add….! =)
I also find it extremely difficult to forgive sometimes and i wonder why is it so hard to be a christian and why does God want us to forgive and turn the other cheek but then I remember that his ways are higher than my ways and that his thoughts are higher than my thoughts an that he is grater than I am and I shouldn’t question him. If he wants me to jump I jump, if he wants me to sing I sing, and if he wants me to forgive I forgive and thats that
i always remember forgive bc God forgave you. it may be hard but you need to pray. a nd you don’t have to forgive right away.