Introvert and extrovert. Hardly anyone nowadays hasn’t heard these words.
“Oh, she’s an introvert. She’s pretty shy.”
“I’m an extrovert; I love people!”
“He’s pretty introverted…don’t count on him coming to your party.”
These phrases are tossed around in common speech quite often, but many people don’t know what they really mean.
The simple explanation is that introversion means gaining energy mostly from being alone, while extroversion means gaining energy mostly from being with other people. Introverts aren’t always shy or untalkative, and extroverts aren’t always loud and crazy—they often enjoy alone time, too!
Recently, there has been a growing movement to get more acceptance, understanding, and support for introverts. Many call this the “Introvert Revolution.”
And what could be better? It’s great for extroverts to respect introverts’ needs and try to improve life for them…introversion isn’t a sin, after all! God calls us to put in effort to understand and serve other people, even when it’s hard!
And being introverted is hard too. I know because I am one. I was drawn to this movement because I felt out of place, and many other people feel the same way: like there’s something wrong with them. It’s great to finally learn that it’s okay to be this way!
But. When it comes to this movement, we need to look before we leap. In fact, I would argue that we shouldn’t leap at all, unless we’re prepared to build a better diving board.
Self Before Others
Most modern people have heard someone tell them they need to learn to put themselves first. It’s something our culture loves to emphasize, righteously fighting to free individuals from the shackles of responsibility to and service of others. From all sides, we are hearing the beautiful, affirming message that we’re all perfect gods, and we should treat ourselves like it.
In all seriousness, though, it is a fact that the world is telling us to put ourselves above everything else. And while self-care (within limits) is important, —we are made in the image of God, after all, and should treat ourselves like it—the Bible itself tells us to “value others above ourselves” (Romans 12:10, emphasis mine). That shouldn’t just apply to one group accommodating another. It should be personal, with the individual in mind. And some of those individuals…are going to be extroverts.
But before going farther with this topic, a deeper understanding of the needs of introverts and extroverts may be required.
Different Needs
As I mentioned earlier, the idea that introversion is synonymous with shyness is a misconception. Though both introverts and shy people may tend to spend less time socializing, their reasons are drastically different. While shy people often avoid socializing because they’re afraid of it, introverts are simply drained more easily by too much interaction with people—or by other types of stimulation. It is possible to be both shy and introverted, but the words do not mean the same thing.
While extroversion and introversion exist on a spectrum, there are certain characteristics of people closer to either end that can be noticed.
For example, an introvert, who may be exhausted by social interaction or stimulation, may:
· Wind down after a tiring day by spending time alone
· Leave a party early because the—often still enjoyable—effort of socializing saps their energy
· Become tired or irritable during times of intense socializing.
An extrovert, who may gain a lot of energy from social interaction or stimulation, may:
· Wind down after a tiring day by spending time with friends or engaging in an exciting activity
· Get a long-lasting burst of energy at a party or social event
· Become quickly bored without enough social interaction
It’s important to keep in mind that everyone exhibits both introverted and extroverted characteristics at times, and some people fall very near the middle of the spectrum (this is called ambiversion).
The Goal of the Revolution
The emphasis of the Introvert Revolution is that extroverts should respect introverts’ needs for space and alone time. This is an admirable goal, but many members of the Introvert Revolution take it too far, expecting extroverts to go the extra mile for them without doing the same in return. Although there are people who don’t think this way, many—though they probably wouldn’t admit it—have the idea that the desires of an introvert should almost always outweigh those of an extrovert. This is obviously not biblical.
However, the real danger of being sucked into this movement is not being immediately transformed into an evil, vindictive extrovert-murder machine, it’s the subtlety of some of these views. It’s very easy to adopt a mindset of selfishness without knowing it, especially when we’re already so surrounded by similar ideas in our culture. We’re told that those who’ve been overlooked in the past should get special treatment, and not have to serve others.
But this is not a Biblical view. The Bible tells us we should all serve others. There is no exception for introverts, or any other group. 1 Corinthians 10:24 says, “Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.”
No one.
Not, “Let no one seek his own good except those who have a really hard time because others don’t respect their lack of social energy and need for alone time.”
Extroverts need socializing as much as introverts need alone time. We have no grounds for putting ourselves as introverts above our fellow image-bearers, and these personality characteristics do not at all change our value to God.
Matthew 20:28 says, “Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Jesus gave up His life for us. It’s not so much to ask that we give up our evening at home to bless a friend.
Identity in Introversion
Speaking of cultural pressures, the entire idea of the Introvert Revolution would be completely different if our culture hadn’t fallen into our current identity trap. We’re constantly being told that our identity lies in something outside of Christ: personality traits, physical characteristics…really, whatever you can think of. It’s easy to become stuck in this trap ourselves, and though we might struggle to see it, the reality is that this issue has permeated our culture so deeply it can be found in almost all our minds somehow.
But the Bible tells us that our identity is in Christ alone.
John 1:12 says, “But to all who did receive Him, who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.”
Children of God…that’s who followers of Jesus are.
“The old has passed away; behold, the new has come,” (2 Corinthians 5: 17).
As believers, our identity should be in God, and only God.
Yes, it’s okay to be introverted. No, it’s not okay to make that your identity. Being a child of God matters more than anything else.
Anything.
The Takeaway
There is nothing wrong with introversion. It’s perfectly fine to have less social energy or prefer to recharge alone.
The problem comes when we focus so much on getting what we need as introverts that we refuse to serve others when it’s hard or inconvenient, as well as when we place our identity in our introversion instead of our God, and the truth that we are beloved of Him.
Mmmm, this is such a beautifully balanced view to this, Beatrice. <3 I've noticed this trend and it's been troubling, so this article is like a fresh of air. Thank you for sharing!
This is so true! I have noticed this trend in the way people talk about being an extrovert or an introvert – they definitely think shyness is a synonym. Since I’m an introvert and enjoy time alone after being with people, I’m also as a general rule not shy, so some friends of mine have been rather skeptical when my sister says I’m not at all a social body at home.
I love your biblical perspective on this! You’re completely right–our culture often focuses more on meeting introverts’ needs than extraverts’. But both are equally important!
Great article, Great reminder, Great knowledge.
Thanks so much! Yeah I think it’s interesting: introverts (as a group) are generally either not noticed and thought of as messed up or “too quiet”, or they’re put on a pedestal above extroverts. And extroverts…they’re just kind of treated normally…
Also I just looked at your blog and it looks really cool…I happen to be a public schooled Christian!
Yeah! I can be shy, but I’m also really talkative when I feel comfortable (as you know…) so a lot of people would assume I’m extraverted. A lot of people would also assume I’m more introverted than I am because I get pretty nervous around people. But introversion has nothing to do with that!
Whoa, that was good. As an introvert, I am glad for this call to give introverts space. But I’m also glad for the emphasis placed on balancing the needs of both introverts and extroverts. Both are so important. I love how you differentiated between being shy and introverted. I totally relate to the difference. And it’s so crucial to keep our identity rooted in Christ alone. Thanks, Beatrice!
Thank you so much! This was really helpful to hear!
That’s how I am too!
This was explained perfectly! Thank you!
This was a really good take on this trend, Beatrice! Thank you!
Thank you for this. I must admit, I was not expecting you to come down in the middle. I’m trying to be less cynical. 🙂
I think you might have the wrong reference, though: Romans 12:10 says “honor others above yourselves” in the NIV, but most of the others have some version of “give preference in honor” and even the NIV doesn’t really imply value. Phillipians 2:3 does say “in humility, value others above yourselves,” so you certainly didn’t say anything that was wrong, just quoted (in my opinion) the wrong Scripture for your point. I also have a friend who is constantly affirming her own lack of value, so I guess I’m extra sensitive to people quoting that one. Thanks for putting up with my exactitude!
Oh no, thanks for catching that!! Not sure what I can do about it now, but I’ll definitely be more careful about accuracy with Scripture references!