Why I Want You to Talk About My Sin

“We are not human doings, we are human beings.”

Sitting across from three leaders (having years more of life experience which I wanted to honor), I couldn’t help my visceral reaction: I wanted to gag.

I know. I know I know I know. People realize that human busyness is an issue and we need to spend more time on soul-care. I’ve heard. I do know this need is valid (very valid).

Sometimes, though, it seems like soul-care and self-discovery are the most common advice people give.

Deep in my soul (and actually right on the surface), I just want someone to challenge me, to call me out on my sin, to tell me I need to repent, to push me to have more discipline and to be more committed to simple (and often less experiential disciplines): serving, praying, reading the Word.

Maybe I’m the only one who is a little sick of the soul-talk. But I just can’t help it.

I find hard truths in the Word: love my enemies and pray for persecutors (Matthew 5:44) and pick up my cross (Matthew 16:24-26) and count trials as joy (James 1:2) and give thanks in everything (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Who is calling me beyond soul-care to do these things?

Instead, I often hear I need to “look inside” and “create space” so that we all have “safe places” to share without our feelings getting hurt.

Reality: my feelings need to get hurt more often.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says” (James 1:22).

Being | yes, I am a human being prone to burnout, tempted to measure success by a checklist, and neglecting sleep in productivity’s name.

Being | but, I’ve seen what’s behind this flawed way of being: a lack of truly being, being present in each moment to the truth – ultimately, to the one who is the way, the truth, and the life and to what He says about how to live this life (John 14:6).

This “being present to truth” isn’t mystical; it’s having your whole being, your whole focus centered on Jesus, on worshiping and obeying him. I can choose my sin of making an idol out of my productive obedience (and then wallow in perpetual soul-care to try to fix my mess).

Or, I can spend my life in worship of the supreme Being: my Lord and Savior.

I sit in my cubicle and feel myself being pulled to overly-productive thoughts making me want to wallow in “soul-care:” I’m not being extroverted enough, I’m not being caring enough like a Christian should, I should really be doing something else to advance my future. I am caught being inside my head. The present isn’t something I often live within.

Being | when I try to maximize my life, I am left in the grips of my own ability. (News flash, it’s not as much as I think it is sometimes.)

And I can stay there. I can be the best version that Deborah creates herself to be. I can focus on soul-care and on doing this being better.

What if I went another way?

I can be most fully in the present when I realize that being is not about me. It’s about being obedient to Christ, to lifting his name high, about preaching him and him crucified (1 Corinthians 1:23) and counting all else as loss for the sake of knowing him (Philippians 3:8).

It’s about being able to lose my tight-grip on myself to ever really find what my personal “being” is all about.

I’ve been in the search of how to be present. To be present, I don’t necessarily need more soul-care.

I must present myself before the Lord (Romans 12:1) and focus so wholly on who he is, his being.

Then, I must pray (Isaiah 55:6). I must rejoice (1 Thessalonians 5:16). I must serve (Luke 17:33). I must go (Matthew 28:16-20). (Yes), I must even do.