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Published on December 4th, 2017 | by Olivia Morgan White

You Are Never Alone





 

There I sat in a cramped hotel room with my family, sobbing uncontrollably for what felt like an hour. The flood of emotion came tumbling down on me unannounced. I was humiliated, having hardly ever cried in front of anyone before. But considering the circumstances, I should have been more prepared.

Earlier that afternoon, we arrived after a seven-hour trip through mountains and cornfields to the university where my brother would be living for the next four years. What killed me was leaving him there. Knowing I’d ride back the next day without him. Wondering if he’d be the same when he returned.

Two months passed. I sat in my own bed, sobbing not quite uncontrollably, but certainly unexpectedly. We had kept in touch and texted at least a few times each week. He seemed like the same guy still, from what I could tell by his messages. I was fine with the way things were, having adjusted to life without him. And then the car pulled into the driveway.

There he was, a real live person. The person that for the past year up until two months ago had been my best friend. The person that had understood me in ways only he could. The person that I could be around without fear. And though he looked the same, despite the need for a haircut, something was different.

This wasn’t the brother I remembered. From the minute I saw him, I felt awkward and insignificant. When he kept interrupting me, never giving me a chance to speak, I thought surely he didn’t care about me anymore.

Now I felt around him the same way I felt around any other person in the cold world–distant, inferior, unnoticed.

 But it wasn’t him that had changed; no, he was the same as he always was, despite the difference in how I felt. I hadn’t changed either, though. That left one option: It was the relationship that had changed. And perhaps that’s what led to the ugly tears…on both the night I left him and the night I saw him again.

I wanted my best friend to stay my best friend. Those days of riding to orchestra practice together, stopping by Starbucks, getting lunch afterwards… I didn’t want them to go. But they had to.

Because like many people in life, my brother had to leave me.

Whether it was a close sibling moving out, a friend growing distant, or even the death of a loved one, we’ve all faced moments of having to come to terms with the reality of changing relationships. The pain can be inexpressible when we watch the close bonds of a friendship disintegrate before our eyes.

Dealing with the aftermath of the change can be painful, depressing. It may cause us to question our worth, our value, our loved-ness. It takes time to reflect, to hurt, and to finally move on. It’s okay to mourn what once was and has ceased to be. But don’t make the mistake of mourning alone.

In that night when you’re crying relentlessly, God is there with you.

You may not feel him holding you gently in his mighty arms, but you better believe God loves you, his precious child. He sees those tears, and He cares. Jesus knows the pain and heartache of betrayal (remember Judas?), the death of a friend (remember Lazarus?), and being deserted by his closest companions (Garden of Gethsemane ring a bell?). He understands your pain. 

He is our Great High Priest who was made like us in every respect and sympathizes with us in our weakness (Hebrews 2:174:15). He is both the Lamb that was led to the slaughter for our sake (Isaiah 53:7) and the Great Shepherd who holds us in his hand so that no one can snatch us away (John 10:28). Nothing, nothing, can separate us from his love.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39)

 Relationships change, as do the many other facets of our lives. But we have a hope in the midst of an ever-changing life, an anchor for our souls, as Paul says in Hebrews. Our God is a never-changing God. His good and perfect character is not altered by the storms of our lives, and neither are His affections for us.

 Children of God, we need not fear. We are safe and secure in our Father’s hands. And nothing can snatch us away.


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About the Author

is a high school sophomore from North Carolina, a blogger at The Contrary Calling, and a staff writer for Top Christian Books. When she's not writing or working on school, she's probably practicing viola or doing something related to music.



  • KatelynS

    Wow, Olivia! Thank you for sharing from your heart. I tend to worry about how my relationships with friends and family will change after I graduate. This article was very calming. Thanks for sharing!

  • Grace

    I definitely have lost friendships, so this article was very encouraging! Thank you for sharing your story!

  • Haven Asnip

    I love this article Olivia! I felt almost like you wrote this for me :’-)

  • Princess-in-training

    I, too, feel like it was written for me. I used to be very close with my older brother, but as he strayed form the Lord and I didn’t, our relationship definitely changed. It hurt terribly, especially knowing that he wasn’t doing what he should, but it had to be. Thank you for writing this article.

    • That’s is a VERY hard way for a relationship to change : ( I’m really glad I never have gone thru that.

      • Princess-in-training

        No kidding…but we don’t lose hope for him.

        • Princess-in-training

          And I hope that you never have to. I think it’s one of the worst ways.

  • Emma

    Olivia, your articles are always so good! I needed the reminder that God never ever changes and He’s “the anchor for our souls”. :) Thanks for sharing!

  • Good post. Rather accurate . It is better to rely on Jesus than people cause people can make you ; ( . As a people person that has issues developing good friendships just for them to fall apart I can relate. God can give us the strength to carry on the question is will we? We all suffer. Romans 8:18. i’ve been slowly realizing this myself. God has much in store for us. God Bless : ))))

    • Princess-in-training

      This may not be my place to respond, but thank you for that little message, Evan! Yes, painfully accurate…

      • Well thank you . It gets better with time . Whatever you or others are dealing with. My blog is timeislove200.blogspot.com and is me in a nutshell. And I can’t help but wonder if God allowed her to go away for awhile so I could focus more on Him and my life thus get back into control. I was making some bad choices that she accepted as ok and those were things I struggle with. She may be different when she comes back BUT ya never know if that can be good or bad. I’m thinking on spending more time with a certain Christian girl who has been trying to use God’s word to help me since I told her about the problem .

        • Princess-in-training

          You’re welcome, and thanks!

          • Princess-in-training

            I’ll look into that. Yes, that is a good way to look at it. Just remember that God works all things out for the good of those that love Him. I have a good friend who is in the same situation that you are, so I know what it’s like. You need to remember that God can and will direct you paths if you ask Him to. And you should definitely surround yourself with people who are going to help you onto the right paths. Do you mind if I add you to my prayer list?

          • Sure. I loved the girl who had to leave in a way because she was the first girl who took the time to listen to me….. sadly she was not Christian . I can’t say my problem cause it’s a secret in a way. All I can say is it is hard. And oh, I edited my profile a bit after you mentioned it. I recantly turned 20 and had forgot to update my disuqis profile

          • Princess-in-training

            Ok. Aw, that’s too bad. But maybe that’s why God took her away from you–maybe he thought that you were getting too emotionally attached to a girl who wasn’t a Christian. I don’t blame you for not wanting to tell your problem to me. I mean, you don’t even know me ;). Btw I hope I don’t sound like I’m prying. I’m truly hoping to help. If you don’t want to talk about it anymore, feel free to say so ;). Congrats on turning 20!! But you’re not a teenager anymore!!! =D

          • Princess-in-training

            Don’t you have other friends besides her who will listen to you? :(

          • still looking for them……

          • Princess-in-training

            Hurting for you, Evan! Jesus is always with you. I can’t imagine how that would feel. I’ve always had good friends surrounding me. Keep your head up and don’t lose hope. Do you have siblings? I’m praying hard for you!! <3

          • Princess-in-training

            “For I will never leave you, nor forsake you”… Don’t forget that!!

          • Ya…. I have some siblings . One is adopted , the other one is actually the publisher of this article .

          • Princess-in-training

            Cool! You mean Olivia White is your sister?! I almost wondered if you guys were related, but I thought that it was just a coincidence.

          • Ya….. and having not too many friends ain’t uncommon :) believe me, it is a BIG blessing once you reach college and everything changes .

          • Princess-in-training

            Ya, I get that :). That definitely makes sense. Boy, doesn’t that make me feel great… :-/ Oh, well. Guess i’ll enjoy ’em while I got ’em!
            Besides, I’d rather have my bro back then a million new friends :'(

          • I hope I did not make you : (

          • Princess-in-training

            I’m ok. It comes with ups and downs. It’s not your fault. :)

          • Good.

          • Princess-in-training

            And Btw, talking helps, so thanks.

          • and btw.. did your brother start making bad choices that partially resulted in his deciding to stray from the Lord?

          • Princess-in-training

            Well, yes. That’s pretty much how it happened, although it’s a long story. It had something to do w/ bad influences too.

          • Princess-in-training

            Why?

          • :(

          • Princess-in-training

            ???

          • Princess-in-training

            It’s ok, we pray for him. On my profile it says I like witnessing…oh ya, give me a stranger and i’ll tell them the whole story…give me my own bro and I can’t get a word about Jesus out. It’s very trying-! But anyway, thanks for that little chat. TTYL 😉

          • Princess-in-training

            Sorry, I deleted that, cause it was an accident

          • ya.

          • Princess-in-training

            And I would encourage you to read the beginning of Isaiah 43 and 43:18,19. I hate leaving people with only my words, which will soon fade away, but His words will always remain. I hope this encourages you like yours did me!

      • I’m thinking about doing a blog post on the outcome fall out of loss and how God can use it .

  • Naomi

    Powerful truths. And very calming.
    Thanks, Olivia.

  • Sara Barratt

    This is a fabulous article, Olivia! So encouraging and beautifully written! You are a fabulous writer! This spoke to me…thank you so much for writing it!

  • Great post, Olivia. Thank you for the reminder!

  • Maria-Simona C.

    *reading article* Yup. Yup. Yup. *eyes tear up* yup…

    Beautiful article, Olivia. So true!

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