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Published on June 30th, 2017 | by Hosanna Emily

Hope Found in the Face of Death





Today is the due date of my little brother. The brother I will never see, never laugh with, never embrace. He was swept into heaven before I could know what his perfectly-formed face looked like. The only thing I ever got to do with my little brother was love him.

And I did. From the moment I discovered a new addition was entering our family, I loved him. My heart swelled with excitement, and I couldn’t wait for the time when I could see him with my own eyes.

The Miscarriage

The day never came. Instead, my heart, like a glass dropped and broken on pavement, shattered into a million pieces. Everything within me screamed for another answer. Miscarriage? That happened to distant people but not me, not my baby brother.

But on that day, I read God’s words, tears racing down my cheeks.

“Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.”

-Psalm 139:16 ESV

None of them.

God had written my little brother’s life down before he was conceived. The babe I would never see had lived 61 priceless days on this earth. But did God have a plan in all this pain?

Because yes, it did hurt; it felt as if my own heart had stopped beating. I wondered if I would ever laugh again. The days seemed to last forever, void of meaning.

Yet He had a plan. And now, as my heart aches again on his due date, I see His greater purpose. Despite the loss, God had meaning for this trial.

On that broken day, I had whispered the hardest words ever to pass through my lips. I choked back the tears to utter along with Job,

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21)

A Deeper Meaning

Today as the sun rose yet again, I knew that the miscarriage wasn’t meaningless; it had a purpose.

I couldn’t stop thinking of my little brother’s name.

After we found out that we were expecting another little blessing from God, a quote appeared on the computer. A smiling baby sat, eyes shining as words overlapped his face. The message continues to impact me.

“I am a little pencil in the hands of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.” – Mother Teresa

We named our miscarried brother the Turkish word for pencil: Kalem.

That’s what he was. Kalem was a little pencil in the hands of a writing God. God used Kalem’s short 61 days to tell a story to the world; his life and death were in God’s hands to use however He pleased.

The Challenge

Are we like Kalem?

So often, we grab ourselves out of God’s hands and try to scribble our own stories onto paper. Our lead breaks and our erasers grow short. Yet we pick ourselves up and try once more to create a story that will make a difference.

What we truly need to do is surrender ourselves and let God write a love letter to the world.

God wants to work through us to create a beautiful story that impacts others. He wants us to be a willing pencil in His hand. Like Kalem, we need to let Christ’s power radiate through our lives.

I miss Kalem deeply. The pain still aches in my heart as memories rush back like ocean waves. But God had a purpose for Kalem’s life.

Are we willing to humble ourselves and become pencils in God’s hands? Will we stop fighting and let Him do great things with us? It will hurt, but isn’t it worth it to let the Author of Salvation write our story?

Today, instead of focusing on the loss of my little brother, I want to learn from Kalem’s life. Miscarriages are not beautiful things. They are bloody, painful trials. But can’t God turn the worst things in life into beautiful reflections of His glory?

Let’s give up our desires and fears to allow Christ to use our lives. As He writes a love letter to the world, nothing will ever be the same. What if there was a body of courageous men and women who were willing to live for God alone?

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to bow our heads and whisper, “Your will be done.” But when we completely submit to our King, we will discover what it means to live the Christian life.

We must give the pencil of our life to the only One who can write stories worth reading. That’s what being a follower of Christ is all about.


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About the Author

is a teenage girl who wants her life to display the love of Christ. She is also an authoress, avid reader, home-school student, American Sign Language learner, and daughter of the King. She writes regularly on her blog HavingaHeartLikeHis.blogspot.com and is working on completing her second book. Creating emotion and challenging readers through her words, she desires to make a difference in the world around her for Christ.



  • This is beautiful Hosanna! There are no words to say what you made me feel with this article, but what I can say is…. Thank you for blessing me with your story.
    https://thenarrowroadforteens.wordpress.com/

    • I’m so glad this story blessed you, Bekah! Losing Kalem was hard, but God turned it around into a beautiful display of His love towards me. Keep living for Christ. He writes the best life stories.

  • Sara Barratt

    Heartbreaking. Beautiful. Inspiring. And so, so, much more. What an inspiring message. Thank you, Hosanna. You blessed me today. <3

    • Thank you for your encouragement, Sara. =) I’m thankful that it inspired you. Even when life is falling apart, God is strong. Keep shining your light for His glory. ♥

  • Beautiful message, Hosanna! God bless you and your family. :)

    https://tizziestidbits.wordpress.com

    • Thank you!! “We know that all things work together for good to those who love God…” (Romans 8:28) That doesn’t mean that life is always easy or pretty. But He always has a plan. What a great God we worship! Keep living for Him, Tizzie. =)

  • Grace

    Thank for this, Hosanna. Thank you for being a witness of Christ’s transforming power in the midst of difficult circumstances. God bless you and your family!

    • Recently I have been reading Isaiah 43. One passage reads, “‘Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned…For I am the Lord your God.'” (v. 1-3) Every trial, every struggle, every disaster is in His hand. He is worthy of all praise. Grace, I pray that your life is a living testimony to His glory. ♥

      • Grace

        Ooo I love that verse! It really is amazing what God has promised to us. Thanks so much for praying!

  • Haven Asnip

    Thank you for sharing this Hosanna. It was truly precious.

    • And thank you for your loving comment, Haven. =) I hope that God uses Kalem’s short life to make an impact in the world and draw others towards Him. Keep living the adventure that He writes for you!

  • Anna Northup

    Thank you, Hosanna. It is beautiful how you used this time to turn into greater trust and praise for God. Bless you and your family. <3

    • When we are weak, He is strong. It’s hard to fathom how incredible His love is for us. I hope Kalem’s story challenged you to live a life worthy of His calling. Anna, keep living for Him and trusting His plan. What a mighty God we serve. =)

  • Hosanna, this was a great article. I can imagine this was very hard to write, but am so glad to read that you can see God’s plan for your brother unfolding before you. I’ll thank God for His use of Kalem and pray for continued healing in this hurt.

    • Thank you, Seth. =) It was horrible experiencing the miscarriage, but God has shone through the trial so clearly. And I’ve realized more and more how He uses all things for good. He’s the Author of the story, and, even though the plot twists hurt and confuse us, there will be a glorious ending one day. Press on towards the prize, Seth! It’s so worth it. =)

  • Misti Konsavage

    I LOVE this whole article but these lines in particular really touch me: “Like Kalem, we need to let Christ’s power radiate through our lives.” and “We must give the pencil of our life to the only One who can write stories worth reading. That’s what being a follower of Christ is all about.” <3

    • As I’ve been studying historical events for my WIP, I’ve seen how God has written the most miraculous, beautiful stories you’ll ever read – but throughout the pages of history! I only desire that my stories will show a reflection of the beauty He has created. But more so – may our very lives exhibit His glory as we give Him complete control. ♥ Thank you for commenting!

  • Nenkinan Deshi

    👏👏👏well done Hosanah well said. I’m new to this site but reading this first has encouraged me. May God help us submit to him.

    • I’m excited to be one of the firsts to welcome you to the Rebelution, Nenkinan! =) I hope that Kalem’s story and other articles on this site point you towards Christ and encourage you to submit your life to His will. We serve a wonderful Savior!! Keep living for Him!

  • adoptionmom

    Well said.

    • Thank you, AdoptionMom! I’m glad that God was able to challenge you through this story. And, by the way, I’m touched by your name. Adoption is a beautiful expression of God’s love for us in that He adopted us (!) into His family. I hope one day to be able to do the same for someone else in need of love. ♥ May He receive all the glory.

  • Megan S

    Why do you believe God took this baby away and do you believe he was morally justified to do so?

    • Jesse

      I believe God took the baby away to draw her closer to Him. And God is morally justified because He did create the baby.

      • Megan S

        Do you believe there are circumstances that God is justified in murdering unborn babies?

        • Jesse

          Sure, we’ve already murdered billions.

          • Megan S

            You worship a baby killing God?

          • Jesse

            God didn’t kill the baby, sin did.

          • Megan S

            Who commanded the rain that caused The Flood that killed the babies?

          • Jesse

            God made the flood because he was grieved for the sin of mankind, if there wasn’t any sin God wouldn’t have flooded the earth. But there was sin so all of mankind had to suffer.

          • Megan S

            Did God watch and listen to the babies while they drowned?

          • Jesse

            That’s just ridiculous Megan, we’ve given you all the answers you want.

          • Megan S

            I want more answers please. Can you please answer my question. Did God watch and listen to the babies while they drowned?

          • Misti Konsavage

            Yes, Megan….The Bible says in Genesis 6, “5 Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And the Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. 7 So the Lord said, “I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth, both man and beast, creeping thing and birds of the air, for I am sorry that I have made them.” 8 But Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord.’

          • Megan S

            I could never worship a god who pours down rain on babies and sits back and watches while he listens to them gurgle and choke to death and He believes that the babies deserved to be destroyed because the babies had the curse of sin upon them. I don’t worship that kind of god and I do not know why you do.

          • Megan, sin affects everything. The world had become so vile that EVERY thought in a person’s mind was evil! Those babies, as you mentioned, would have grown up to be just like their parents. Everyone on earth (except Noah) had made the choice to ditch God and embrace evil, and the wages of sin is death. Sadly, parents often make choices that effect their children in negative ways. Even if God had saved the children (Which wouldn’t have worked anyway… would the ark have turned into a huge nursery?), they would have gone back to wickedness as their parents did. =( It’s sad. But it happens.
            This article explains things better than I can. Please take the time to read it: https://www.gotquestions.org/flood-just.html
            Megan, the question isn’t “Was God just in what He did?” The question is, “Are WE going to fall into the same sin that the people in Noah’s time did? Or are we going to repent and turn back to righteousness?” What’s your answer?

          • Megan S

            If righteousness means being more like God and God thinks that babies have wicked thoughts that are worthy of death while he sits in an air conditioned room and watches the babies drown and hears them gurgling and struggling, then I most certainty do NOT want to be righteous. If being wicked and sinful means protecting babies from danger and nursing them, which the mothers of the infants drowned by God would have been doing, then I choose a sinful life. I will never worship a God who is holding a gun to a baby’s head and says “if your parents sin, I am going to pull the trigger. But don’t blame me, they loaded the gun.” That kind of God is wicked and evil and is not worthy of my worship. Is that kind of God worthy of your worship?

          • Alexis Stoicescu

            Megan, God didn’t want to do it. He was forced to. everyone’s sin made Him upset. Genesis 6:6 says, ” and the Lord regretted that He had made man on the earth, and it grieved Him in His heart. So you see, God loves everyone, but hates sin. and you know what? He promised never to flood the earth again. and a rainbow is a reminder of that. 😉

          • Nicole Rivers

            Megan I don’t know what to say… God is just he is loving and he cares for you even if as it seems you do not follow him… I saddens me to see you like this I do not know you personally but I will pray for you.

          • Jesse

            Yes He did so what’s your point?

          • Megan S

            My point is if God sits in his air conditioned mansion and drowns babies while listening to them gurgle and choke, he is a wicked God.

          • AnonymousYo

            We worship a God who, at one point, took on the form of a baby. (Remember the Christmas story?) Jesus said the kingdom of heaven belonged to the little children. Because we believe God will resurrect babies into a completely better eternal life, we don’t fear death and we don’t say God is “a baby killer.”

          • Megan S

            Did God kill babies in The Flood?

          • Why do you ignore people’s answers and just ask more questions?

          • Jesse

            I think she’s being argumentative on purpose to trap people.

          • Yeah, she’s trolling and I’m trolling back XD

          • Megan S

            Why do you believe I ignored their answers?

            Questions help generate a dialogue. Questions help us tackle issues. Questions help us grown in knowledge. Questions help us understand one another. Questions help us address our personal biases.

            Would you mind addressing the question I stated earlier “Did God kill babies in The Flood?”

          • Megan, I don’t think you are attempting to grow in knowledge, understand others, or address your own personal bias.

            We welcome disagreement and vigorous discussion, but my impression of your involvement is that you are simply trolling. As such I am blocking you from continuing to comment on this site (which is something I rarely do).

            And I pray that someday when you are forced to answer questions, instead of ask them — you won’t be lost forever because you decided to take God to trial and act as His moral superior.

          • Bye.

          • AnonymousYo

            Megan, if you believed in a just and loving God, you would understand that death meant completely different things to the babies and the wicked adults. The adults, being wicked and corrupt and violent, were punished. The babies were, as Hosanna said, swept up to heaven. I don’t mean to make light of these things, but pain and death are temporary. Eternity afterwards is what matters. Like Socrates reasoned in the Phaedo, it is not our right to hurry matters of life and death. But God, being all powerful and all knowing, can make all things – even the flood – work out for those who love Him. Please read Romans 8 to learn what I mean.

          • Jesse

            Just so you know she’s trolling.

          • Megan S

            Can you please answer the question?

          • AnonymousYo

            You just replied to my answer! 😉

          • Megan S

            No, you did not answer my question. Did God kill babies or did he not kill babies?

          • Megan S

            Who are the “we” you keep mentioning? You established that “we” don’t SAY God is a baby killer but you did not tell me definitively one way or another if God killed babies. Would you mind telling me what you believe personally instead of the all enclisive we? Do you believe that God has killed a baby? Do you worship a baby killing God?

          • Nicole Rivers

            I worship a God who is Just and can do whatever he wants because he is Just!

          • Jesse

            Yeah!

        • Hannah

          Hey, do talk mind if I jump in? The thing is, Megan, that God created the baby. The baby’s life, all of our lives are His. He determines how long we live on this earth, because He is God and He holds our fates in His hands. Our earthly bodies are mortal, and none of us live in them forever. When we die, it doesn’t mean God has murdered us. We brought death upon ourselves by sinning. God didn’t want this world to have death, but we chose for it to.
          Our God holds the future, and we are His. He created everything, so everything belongs to Him. He decides how long we are on the earth, and it is not wrong for Him to allow someone to die. We are the ones who chose to sin, and death being in the world is one of the consequences of our sin.
          Sorry for the long rambly post, I can never seem to get all my thoughts organized when I’m writing :)

          • Megan S

            So you believe God is justified for killing babies because people sinned and now God has an excuse to killing babies?

    • Megan,
      As a Christian, I believe that God is perfectly just and good as he claims to be in his word, the Bible. Though I don’t always understand *why* he does what he does, I trust that he has a purpose in it. God doesn’t have to be morally justified, because he is the one who creates the standards of morality and he is the only one who has never sinned. God has the right to do whatever he pleases, and he only does what is good. God did not “murder” Kalem, nor does he murder any human being. We humans are the ones who messed up, we rebelled against God and brought sin into the world. Our sin is the reason that bad things happen. God created a world where nobody would die and everything was good, but we wrecked the world and now we face the consequences of our sin. Bad things happen. Babies die. Sure, God does allow it. Actually, it’s in his justice that God allows it, because this -death and pain and suffering- is what we deserve. It’s *our* fault. We’re the ones who caused this. As hard as it is to understand and accept, God is perfect and good and righteous, and we are sinful and wicked and bear the consequences of our sinfulness and wickedness.

      • Megan S

        Who’s sin killed the baby?

        • It’s not that one person’s specific sin killed the baby.

          When we sinned, the world became corrupt. Sin contaminated our world like a disease. Bad things don’t happen necessarily because of one person’s specific sin, they happen because everybody sins and the world isn’t perfect anymore and so our bodies decay and get sick eventually die. Everyone dies at some point. Some people just die sooner than others.

          The good news is that even though God does let us face the consequences of our sin, he also offers to forgive us and give us new life: spiritually in knowing him and having a relationship with him, and literally in that one day he’s going to return and those who believe him and have asked him for forgiveness get to live with him forever in paradise.

          • Megan S

            So our collective sins killed the baby? Sort of like a group effort?

          • In an indirect way, yes.

          • Megan S

            Should a God who puts a curse on his children that causes then to indirectly kill babies be worshipped?

          • Yes, when that curse was punishment for our sins. God is holy. We are wicked. It’s only right that we face the consequences of our wickedness.

          • Megan S

            Do other gods put a curse on their children that causes them to indirectly kill babies or does only the Christian God do this?

          • 1. Other gods don’t exist. They’re just made up idols, proof that we were made to worship God and so we are always worshiping something, whether that be “other gods” or ourselves, even when we refuse to worship him.

            2. I’m not an expert on other religions, but I do know one thing for sure: Christianity is the only religion in which the supernatural being (in Christianity, God) loves people so much that he dies for them, he pays the punishment for their sins so that they don’t have to, and he offers them forgiveness not on the basis of what they’ve done, but on the basis of what he has done for them.

          • Megan S

            Do these false gods put a curse on their children that causes them to indirectly kill babies or does only the one true God do that?

            Which other gods have you researched to juxtapose them to the Christian God?

          • I haven’t researched other religions, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know of any others. No, I do not know of any other gods who have put a curse on the world (or would have if they were real which they aren’t). The one true God is just and carries out justice. Justice is when people are punished for the wrongs that they do. Humanity has done wrong, so humanity is punished, and that punishment includes death. And no, God doesn’t force us to indirectly kill babies, that isn’t how it is. God didn’t force us to sin. We do that of our own choosing. He cursed the world as a punishment for the sin which we chose to commit.

          • Megan S

            So the false gods did not curse the world but the true God did? Which God sounds more appealing, the one that curses the world or the one who does not?

            If you haven’t researched other religions then how can you claim to know about them? Is it reasonable to consider your God the best god and other gods false if you haven’t researched them?

          • My other comment is “waiting for approval” for some reason.

            Anyways…

            I can’t make you believe that Christianity is true. But I’m praying that you will see the truth and believe in God. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without God in it. Christianity isn’t just something I identify with, it’s my life, because God means everything to me. He saved me from depression, answered my prayers, and gave me hope. Without God, life is pointless. With God, I have a purpose in life, one that’s worth living for. Only he can give lasting joy and fulfillment. Only he is worth living for.

          • Megan S

            Can you please answer my previous question?

          • I did, my answer won’t show up. In short:
            Yeah, Christianity doesn’t sound appealing. It sounds much nicer to think that we all can just do whatever we want and it won’t matter. But Christianity is the truth, and denying the reality of sin and its consequences doesn’t make it disappear. We have two options: confess our sin, ask God for forgiveness, and be saved, or reject him and face the ultimate punishment for our sins.

          • Megan S

            So you admit that a false god is more appealing then a true god?

            Can you please answer the second part of my question about researching other gods?

          • Appealing: attractive or interesting (according to the dictionary)
            Yes, from our human sinful perspective, we tend to be attracted to worshiping something other than God. It doesn’t sound nice to acknowledge that God punishes people or that people need punishing.

            I haven’t put a lot of time into researching other religions, but I’ve heard of other religions, I know people who believe other religions, and it’s not like I’m oblivious to anything that isn’t Christianity.

          • Megan S

            Is it a problem that we can imagine a god more perfect then the perfect Christian God?

            So because you know that other religions exist that give you enough knowledge to say that the other gods are not real? If you know that a pineapple exists and are not oblivious to anything that is not a banana, can you then say that you don’t like how pineapples taste?

          • It’s not that I believe any god could be more perfect than God, it’s that on first glance, because we’re imperfect beings, we tend to think God isn’t good enough, he doesn’t seem perfect and good to us, even though he really is.

            I know all other religions are false because God is the one who answers my prayers, gives me joy and hope, is the means by which I can make sense of the world. I have a deep conviction, so deep that I *know* God is real and everything he says is true. It’s called faith. I didn’t always have much faith, but I chose to believe in God anyway and he gave me more faith.

          • Why do you like asking so many loaded questions??

          • Hello Megan and Olivia. I wasn’t online yesterday, so I missed part of this discussion. Do you mind if I join in?
            Megan, I’m glad you asked those questions. They’re hard to answer, truthfully. Your underlining idea of “why would a good God allow evil in the world” is a question that has haunted many. And there isn’t an easy-to-explain answer. But I want to share what I’ve learned in my own life.
            Loosing Kalem was terrible. It was the most pain I’ve ever experienced. But Megan, something amazing happened. Like a rose coming out of ugly soil, out of the pain grew so much good. I learned. I grew. I miss Kalem so much, but I wouldn’t trade his short life for anything. God. Had. A. Plan.
            Are you a writer? I think what I’m trying to say might be explained easier with this analogy. In a book, the main character starts out with a nice life. She’s happy. But then bad things happen. Plot twists mess up her life. But what happens by the end? (Typically) she ends up growing and learning. Those trials allow her to develop into a beautiful, strong lady of passion and purpose.
            Megan, God always has a plan. We might not like it sometimes, but that’s okay. He’s the Master Author, and these plot twists in life will only make us stronger and allow us to grow into
            the person we need to be. Faith is the key. We can choose to have faith or remain in bitterness and wonder why things happen the way they do.
            The Bible says that “by grace you have been saved, through faith” (Ephesians 2:8). We can’t prove the Truth to you, Megan. You have to trust.
            I’m praying for you, my friend. ♥

          • Megan S

            Trust in what?

          • We need to trust Christ. His plan, His purpose, His will. Trust that He knows what’s best even when it’s hard to see. God sees the whole story, and we can only see our little chapter in life. Trusting Him – Faith – is what matters.

          • Megan S

            Why should I trust in Christ?

          • You don’t have to, Megan, and no one is forcing you. It’s your choice. But the Bible says in John 14:6, “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” Jesus is the only way to salvation. And the key to salvation is having faith in Him. (see Ephesians 2:8, Romans 6:23)

          • Megan S

            Is there a reason why I should trust in Jesus that is better then a reason for trusting in Allah?

          • That’s a hard question. =) I choose to trust Jesus because He has changed my life. I have seen His hand so clearly – guiding, protecting, and loving me. Also, the God of the Bible is the only God who offers a solution to this problem of sin and a broken world – redemption through His Son, Jesus Christ.
            Megan, it’s just faith. I can’t prove the answer to you. No one can. I know Allah is a false god because I know Jesus is the True God.
            God doesn’t want to force us into loving Him. It’s a choice. That’s why there’s evil in the world. What good father would force his children to love him? Instead, God gives us the opportunity to love and serve Him, but He also allows us to say “no”. True love is a decision and action.
            Megan, may I ask you a question? Why are you fighting Jesus?

          • Nicole Rivers

            yes please Understand Did Allah send his only son to die in the most horrible death? Does he love you unmeasurably? Does he give freely and care for you? Do the people who follow him seem truly sated? Is there any proof of his realness?Allah is a myth, a god created to explain what was already explained by God the Almighty! How about I turn your question around… “Is there a reason why I should trust in Allah that is better than a reason for trusting In Jesus?” Answer: Yes so many thousands I can’t even begin to say. Megan the reason you are asking these questions is not out of true wanting to know it is out of a heart of challenging Christ… If you believe or not is your choice but Saying you don’t believe will not stop the truth… Please Run To Christ

          • Most likely because you put the word “he|l” or something similar in it – something registered as a cuss word =)

  • Lydia Keating

    Beautifully written, Hosanna. This was a great encouragement to me – thank you for sharing your story with so many. <3

    • Thank YOU, Lyd. ♥ You’ve been a blessing to me in so many ways (Esp. during the miscarriage; you have no clue how much your prayers meant to me!), and I’m glad that Kalem’s story was able to encourage you in return. Love you. =)

  • Angela Pycroft

    This was beautifully, beautifully written. It almost brought me to tears. This struck especially strongly with me because my baby brother, Xavier, was just born (April) and he almost died in the delivery room (his heart stopped beating), and I can only imagine what it had been like if it had stopped beating for good.
    Once again, wonderfully written! Did you do YWW by chance?

    • Megan S

      Did God start the babies heart again or did the doctors?

    • Aw, Angela!! That is a beautiful story, and I’m glad you shared it. Even during hard times, God is *so* good. How special that He kept Xavier in your life! =) It’s such a good testimony of His grace…I wonder what amazing plans He has for your baby brother?!
      Yes! I am in YWW! It has been very motivating for me to get back to writing, and it’s one of the reasons why I decided to take a step forward and submit this story. =) Are you in YWW as well?
      I hope that you see Jesus’ love every time you look into dear Xavier’s face. He loves us more than we’ll ever know. ♥

      • Jesse

        I have two brothers and a sister that died when they where born.

        • That’s terrible, Jesse. =( I can’t imagine how much it would hurt to look forward to those siblings and have them taken away when they were so close to being born. But God has a plan even though we might not understand what it is. It’s comforting to think of the moment when we enter heaven and will be able to meet our siblings for the very first time. ♥ Jesse, I pray that you are able to give Him the pen of your life, despite the pain, and truly know how much He loves you.

  • IvyRoseBooks

    Such a beautiful post, Hosannah! I read it last year when you originally posted it, but it’s even sweeter now. I love your heart for Jesus, sweet girl; you encourage me so much!

    ~Ivy // Lakeside Publications

    • Thank you for your encouragement, Ivy – back in September and still today! Your blog, your books, and your friendship has blessed me. I’m glad that this re-telling of Kalem’s story was able to encourage you in return. =) May we all live our lives completely abandoned to our own will and dedicated to His. Love you. =)

  • Beautiful! Hosanna, I’m so glad you give glory to God through this trial. This post right here is something that God started through Kalem.

    I didn’t think of this back in September when you first shared with us the news of the miscarriage on your blog, but I thought of it just now. When my mum was pregnant with me and both my siblings, she asked God that we would be miscarried rather than grow up and reject Him as God.

    May God continue to be glorified through Kalem’s story as I truly believe He has been so far.

    • How true, Jordy…that idea makes me think. We’ll never know what Kalem’s life would have been like had he lived. But we can use what God has given us, those short 61 days, and praise Him through it. My baby brother can make a difference because of Christ’s love. What a beautiful thought!
      Thank you so much, my friend. Growing stronger in Christ together has been one of my favorite adventures thus far. =) Keep shining for Him.

      • And I think it’s safe to say that you’ll have many more than 61 days with Kalem! So far, all the time you’ve known him has been characterized by waiting and now it’s just more waiting still. But one day the waiting will be over.

        I hope you know I don’t say that to belittle your pain. We don’t always need to find ways to think about it from a different perspective so that it hurts less. I just hope that you and I both will look at things more and more from an eternal perspective.

        I love you, dear friend.

        PS – regarding growing in Christ together: the pleasure has been mine.

        • Thank you, dear. Your encouragement means so much. =) An eternal perspective…that has been on my heart recently. Seeing as Jesus sees. Loving as He loves. ♥
          I love you too. =)

  • M. Victoria

    Great post! Thank you! :)

    • I’m thrilled that Kalem’s story was able to bless you! Sometimes life is tough and we hurt, but God always has a plan and purpose. And one day, when we are together in heaven, we’ll be able to understand how the twists turned out for good. =) I pray you continue living for Him and trusting in His love, M. Victoria.

  • Maria-Simona C.

    My eyes were tearing up as I read this because it hit so close to home. My family has stared the agony of miscarriages right in the face, and it has touched us multiple times–but I praise the Lord because His touch is much, much more powerful than the touch of any physical or emotional trauma. May God comfort you, my sister, and continue using Kalem’s story to bless people.

    (And just to add, I LOVE your name! It’s so pretty!)

    • Your words are so sweet especially coming from someone who knows what a miscarriage feels like. ♥ I can’t imagine going through that pain multiple times, but I respect and love you for trusting Christ through the hard valleys of life. *hugs* When the doubts, fear, and pain creep into our hearts we can know that He is strong. And one day we’ll live in perfect peace with our loving Groom, Savior, and Creator. What beautiful promises He give us in His Word!
      Maria, thank you so much.

      • Maria-Simona C.

        Amen, sister! *hugs* You’re welcome, Hosanna. And I long for the day we’ll live in that perfect peace with Christ, and you will be happily reunited with your precious little brother, and I will be happily reunited with my 2 precious nephews and 2 sweet nieces.
        What a wonderful feeling to not have to walk in this sad, dark world alone, but with the peace of Christ, and the love of our brothers and sisters in Him.

        • Oh, how I long for that day too, Maria – when we will see Christ face-to-face. ♥ What a beautiful day that will be.

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