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Published on June 20th, 2017 | by Haven Asnip

Growing Up Means Dying to Yourself





I am turning eighteen in six days.

By the world’s standards I will officially be an adult. By the time you read this I probably already am.

What is so great about getting older? Why as kids do we dream and imagine what it will be like when we reach the euphoric moment of becoming a ‘grown up’? What is so wonderful about it?

It’s supposed to be fun, right? We’re reaching the prime of our life. This is when big things happen. This is when life changes.

Have you ever heard anyone ask an eighteen year old what they want to be when they grow up? Of course not! We’re already supposed to be ‘grown up’. Whatever we decided in the past (when we were just ‘a kid’) is now what we’re supposed to be achieving in the present (as adults). We’re now asked, where are you going next? What school? What kind of job? Basically, we’re supposed to have the next five years of our life planned out.

I listened to a man address a high school graduation class this week. He said,

“Tomorrow you are going to awake and your childhood, in a sense, will be over. You are now required to put away childish things.”

Does that sound exciting to you? Does it sound fun to stop talking like a child, thinking like a child, and reasoning like a child?

Does that sound like the pivotal moment of achieving grownupness that you imagined?

I can tell you right now it sounds pretty miserable to me. But isn’t that what becoming an adult is? The Bible lays it out clearly in I Corinthians 13:11

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve enjoyed my childhood. My first seventeen years and 359 days of life have been pretty great. Sure, hard stuff has happened, but becoming an adult, putting away childish ways, that is uncharted territory. I’ve never done that before. That is scary, and by the world’s standards it happens in six days.

As kids, as humans, we look forward to the future. It’s a beautiful wonderland of unknown glory.

But guess what happens in the future? It’s not euphoric, it’s not glamorous, it’s not fun. We get old and we die.

Life isn’t about going through the motions. It’s not about finishing high school, going to college, meeting somebody, getting married, having kids, and living a long and comfortable life. That’s not what life is about.

Jesus’ life wasn’t comfortable or long. He came here for one purpose: to die.

I read Brett’s and Alex’s book, Do Hard Things: A Rebellion Against Low Expectations, two years ago. I finished Jaquelle’s book, This Changes Everything: How the Gospel Transforms the Teen Years, last week. Do you know why these three teenagers, Brett, Alex, and Jaquelle, have made such an amazing impact on our culture? The answer is simple. It’s because they put away their childish ways.

They became ‘grown ups’, and every day they are trying to become more like Christ. Christ used and continues to use their adulthood to glorify His name.

I’m obviously a little slow, but I’ve realized that you don’t have to be eighteen to be a ‘grown up’. You don’t have to be a graduate, or in high school, you don’t even have to be a teenager.

All you have to do is put away childish things and rise to the call of pursuing Christ.

And you know what we (as Christians) have to look forward to in the future? We are going to die! We are going to heaven. The pursuit will be over. We are going to be like Christ. We will have achieved Christ’s likeness and our euphoric moment of grownupness will be enjoyed for eternity.

I asked how I could pray for a friend of mine a while back and you know what she said? “That I would die to myself, and everyday I would become more like Christ.”

That’s what life is about, fellow Rebelutionaries. That’s what being a Christian is. That’s what becoming a ‘grown up’ is, not by the world’s standards, not by our friends’, not by the average eighteen-year-old’s, but by God’s. It’s not pleasant or comfortable to die to ourselves, but for the sake of eternity it’s worth every second.

The average worldwide life expectancy is seventy-one years. Assuming I live to an average age I have fifty-three years and six days left to pursue Christ, die to myself, and be grown up.

How long do you have?


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About the Author

is a home schooled eighteen-year-old. She loves living in the Florida Keys and enjoys salty air, palm trees, and sailing. The Reb.deeply encourages her in that other teens around the world are striving to glorify God with their lives and preserve the world from sin. In return, she wants to encourage you to be bold for Christ! To find out more about Haven, check out her blog at Haven Asnip.



  • Good article, Haven! It is a great reminder for teens of all ages. :)

    https://tizziestidbits.wordpress.com

    • Haven Asnip

      Thank you for the sweet encouragement Grace! :)

      • Awh, thanks so much!!

  • Emma

    Wonderful article, Haven! I needed the reminder to put away childishness and live by God’s standards of “grownupness”. 😉 Thank you for writing!

    • Haven Asnip

      Thank you for reading sweet friend. Yes, I need that reminder too. I was writing mostly to myself lol. 😀 Is that allowed?!?! 😛

  • Another well-written, thought-provoking, God-glorifying article from the awesomest of friends. This was great, Haven :)

    • Haven Asnip

      Aww Thanks Olivia! Although, we both know you are way more awesome than me ;D

  • ZeePt3

    This is really encouraging to read, Haven, Thanks for writing!

    • Haven Asnip

      Thank you Peter! Your comment is so encouraging to me. Thanks for reading!

  • Great post Haven!!

    • Haven Asnip

      Thank you so much Hailey! :)

      • Ahh so sorry I didn’t see this sooner, and eep yay! Thank u!!

  • What an encouraging word, Haven. Thanks so much for writing this for us! And happy 18th :)

    • Haven Asnip

      Thank you Ashley!
      Hey, (random question here) have you ever written for the Reb? You are always such an encouragement to me with your sweet comments and I love your blog! I was just wondering if maybe I missed an article by you on the Reb. If not, you should submit some! You’re a great writer!

      • I have, actually! But it was a while ago… about a year and a half ago, I think? Aww well thank you so so much Haven! That’s such a big encouragement to me! I have been thinking about submitting again, so thanks so much for that little push. 😉 I think you should submit some more from you as well! :) I absolutely loved this one!

  • Brooke Lauren

    This is wonderful! Thanks for the conviction and great reminders! <3

    • Haven Asnip

      Thank you so much Brooke! Thank you for reading :)

  • Happy (probably late) birthday, Haven! Good post! :)

    http://www.saltandlightgirls.com

    • Haven Asnip

      Thank you Olivia! Wow, what a beautiful blog you have! I love it :)

      • No problem! And thanks so much, girl! You’re too sweet! <3

  • Olivia Garrod

    This was so inspiring and very well put!! Thank you so much for writing this, I couldn’t have read it at such a better time in my life

    • Haven Asnip

      Thank you so much Olivia! I am so glad this impacted you :) Thank you for reading.

  • This was so timely and perfect!! Thanks Haven! It’s kinda ironic you wrote about this topic; because I’ve been dealing with similar things lately (I’ll be 19 in a couple months) and just wrote yesterday about it on my blog here:
    https://meganhensley98.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/im-back/

    Do you mind if I share a link to this post underneath my post on my blog??

    • Haven Asnip

      Oh I read your blog post! Megan, it’s crazy, we have been dealing with/learning similar things!! I could relate to so many things in your article. Especially the part, ‘I’m not as mature as I thought’.
      I would be honored if you shared this link! Thank you so much for sharing your article! I was truly blessed by it :)

  • cowboyclayt

    Thank you so much for writing this! It reminded me of an article I read on the Gospel Coalition last night!
    https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/6-ways-to-avoid-delayed-adulthood
    I am still a young teenager, but God has blessed me with opportunities many other teens my age don’t have. I am working for a really nice man who owns a farm and I am able to learn a lot from him. It was a huge blessing because I want to be a rancher when I am an adult. (Legally) :) This gave me the boost to keep overcoming new difficulties and keep climbing the ladder to adulthood. (So to speak)

    Happy late birthday and THANK YOU for writing this! I look forward to reading more of your articles!

    • Haven Asnip

      It’s so funny that you mention that article from TGC Cowboy! I read that article just a few days before I wrote this here for The Rebelution!! It definitely influenced my writing and thought processes about achieving ‘grownupness’ and dying to myself.
      Isn’t it so cool how God works in our lives and uses other Christians to get our minds turning and then we pass it on to the next person to get their minds turning? We serve a great God!!!

      That is so cool about your goal to be a rancher! I have been so encouraged by your comment, thank you for sharing!! Keep doing hard things and glorifying God with your encouragement! You gave me the boost to keep overcoming new difficulties and to keep climbing the ladder to adulthood!!!

      • cowboyclayt

        Thanks! :)

  • Heather C.

    Happy 18th birthday @Haven, whenever it was/is!!!! 😀

    • Haven Asnip

      Thanks Heather 😀

  • Beautiful Haven! I loved this so much, packed full of wisdom and truth. Happy (very) belated birthday! 😊
    https://thenarrowroadforteens.wordpress.com/

  • Thanks so much for sharing Haven!

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