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Published on May 4th, 2017 | by Grace M.

Introverts Aren’t Better Than Extroverts (and Vice Versa)





I avoid eye contact when possible.

I would rather observe people than converse with them. I need alone time. I worry about making friends.

Who am I?

I’m an introvert.

A “Gentle and Quiet Spirit”

As an introvert, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing I naturally have “the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:4).

But I don’t.

Many introverts claim to naturally obey the command to let their adornment be “the hidden person of the heart” (1 Peter 3:4).

But this verse isn’t about introverts and extroverts. It’s about how we choose to behave, regardless of the personality God has given us.

I could give many biblical examples of people who demonstrated a gentle and quiet spirit, like Ruth, Jonathan, and Mary; and I could give examples of people who demonstrated a loud and boisterous spirit, like Jezebel, Samson, and the woman of Proverbs 7.

But you probably already know how these Bible characters acted. You know about Ruth’s sacrificial love, Jonathan’s loyalty, and Mary’s submission. You’ve heard about Jezebel’s wicked heart, Samson’s pride, and the rebellious spirit of the Proverbs 7 woman.

And the conclusion I’ve come to is that your personality does not determine how you will behave… but it can influence your behavior.

No Edge on Righteousness

Introverts have a tendency to conceal information that needs to be shared, not speak up about important things (like their faith), and hide instead of reach out to others. We would rather listen to gossip than spread it, observe injustice instead of interfere, and avoid conflict rather than confront it.

It’s easier for introverts to hold their tongue, conceal a juicy secret, and keep quiet even when angry; but they are definitely capable of having a loud, boisterous spirit — even in their reserved fashion. They can still start a rumor, talk unkindly about a friend, or say something inappropriate; and extroverts can still ignore the lonely kids and keep their faith hidden.

It’s easy to blame the introverts when the new guy at youth group still doesn’t have any friends, and it’s easy to blame the extroverts for being noisy during the sermon. But, unfortunately, we’re all to blame.

Common Struggles, Common Savior

Extroverts and introverts are equally self-centered and sinful.

Regardless of our personality types, we have common struggles—and a common Savior. Maybe an extrovert wrestles with sharing gossip, but an introvert wrestles with stopping it. Maybe an extrovert has trouble keeping secrets, but an introvert has trouble opening up with honesty.

Maybe an extrovert has trouble listening to his or her friends, but an introvert has trouble being friendly.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit.  And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. There are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. (1 Corinthians 12:4-7)

Now, of course, this passage is talking about spiritual gifts, but it can also be applied to personalities. As Christians, we have the same powerful Holy Spirit inside of us, so whether we are extroverts who struggle with gossip or introverts who struggle with deceit, we all have the power to stop because we all have the same mighty Spirit in us.

God gave you a specific personality for a reason, so embrace it. Whether you love being with a big group of friends or just a couple besties, all of us can relate to each other because we all serve the same God.


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About the Author

is a homeschooled senior who lives in Maryland with her parents, two sisters, and dog, Cocoa. She watches crazy youngsters at her church during AWANA and enjoys playing piano, baking, and playing volleyball. She writes about the Christian walk on her blog, Tizzie's Tidbits.



  • Wow, Grace I just loved this article. It’s so easy as an introvert to think that you’re above some of the stuff that extroverts struggle with but the reality is that we all struggle regardless of personality. Thanks so much for sharing!

    • Grace M.

      Yes, it is easy to fall into that trap. God can keep us from it if we are humble. I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for your kind words!

  • Haven Asnip

    Great article Grace!

    • Grace M.

      Thank you, Haven! I really appreciate it.

  • Gloria Kluth

    This was really encouraging and convicting. Thanks for opening up and sharing!

    • Grace M.

      Awh, thanks! I’m so glad you read it!

  • Really good! Thank you! Super convicting and really well written. Keep up the good, hard work :)
    https://toocomfortableblog.wordpress.com

    • Grace M.

      Thank you! That was very encouraging!

  • Jason

    This is really good! I think I’m definitely an introvert who can tend to define myself by my personality type too much, so this is good to think about.

    • Grace M.

      Definitely, Jason. It;s easy to do, but we are all part of the body of Christ.
      Thank you so much!

    • LOL…

  • Anna M

    Being a Christian who is intrigued by psychology and personalities, this article especially interested me. Though I am an introvert, I tend to see extrovertism as being better, and I often bemoan the fact that my outgoing personality did not survive the first decade of its life. But this article was a good reminder to me that both types have plenty of strengths and weaknesses. I may have difficulty actually reaching out to someone who is hurting or keeping a conversation going, but I am intuitive and a good listener. I need to use my strengths and discard my weaknesses. Ideally, I wouldn’t even be very introverted or extroverted.

    Thanks again for your post! Very engaging and good for thought.

    • Grace M.

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Anna. And thanks for reading!

  • Grace

    So insightful! It is definitely important to remember how equally in need of Jesus we are despite our different struggles, and how each of us serve God in unique ways. Great post!

    • Grace M.

      Yes, we’re all one in Christ; and we need Him equally. Thank you and God bless!

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