Articles Reb 11

Published on April 18th, 2017 | by KayleighAnne Stanton

It’s Okay to Ask for Help – 3 Lessons I Learned in Suffering





This past November, everything I knew to be mine was taken away from me.

It started the weekend of Thanksgiving when I realized something was wrong with my arm. I could hardly write at all without it hurting, and every time I texted, my thumb completely locked up.

By the end of that week, my arm was in complete pain and I could not write at all.

I took three months off of math, most of my chores, and even off of the one thing I loved to do most – write. It didn’t seem fair to me. Why couldn’t it have been my left arm that was in pain and not my right? And so I tried to start writing with my left but, pretty soon, that arm fell too.

I still remember how painful and terrifying it was. Late at night, I would ask myself what I would do if I could never pick up a pencil again. How would I move on? Writing was my life – and I couldn’t imagine living without it.

But, through my three months of boredom and tears, I learned three very important things that I will never, ever forget.

1. It’s okay to ask for help.

I never knew this until then, but it turns out that I am a very prideful person.

I wanted to do anything and everything on my own. And so, when I couldn’t use either of my arms and I couldn’t even cut my own food, I realized that it’s okay, and completely normal, to ask for help.

I hated doing it, but God used that situation to humble my prideful spirit and help me realize that I really cannot do anything on my own – and neither can you. In order to survive in this cruel, cruel world, you’re going to have to ask for help.

And that’s OK.

2. Sometimes, you’ve gotta praise Him in the storm.

So many nights, so many mornings I would ask for God to heal me. Over and over again, I would ask Him to make me better, to get me back to normal.

And then, one day, I realized that I had spent so much time praying for me to get better I hadn’t thanked Him for the most important things in life. I hadn’t thanked Him for Jesus – I hadn’t praised him for Who He is.

I hadn’t thanked him for the pain in my arm. It may seem stupid, to praise God for the very thing that is causing me pain. But then I remembered that everything happens for a reason – that He knows what He is doing, even when I may not.

3. His way is the only way.

I had so, so much planned out for those three months where I did absolutely nothing. I wanted to write another book, edit my first book, and so many other things.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t even write my sister a darn birthday card! You can understand how much I struggled – and after a while, I finally realized the truth. What if my plan was the plan of a human? What if His plan was the plan of my God?

I’ve heard many quotes and sayings over the years that we are just a small thread in the huge tapestry of this life. Sometimes we aren’t the color, the shape, or where we want to be in His design, but in the end, when we look back, it will all make sense.

I’ve also heard so many people say that ‘His way is better than ours’. It wasn’t until lately that I came to realize- what if our way wasn’t good at all? What if, had our life gone the way we had planned, we would have gone down such a twisted, thorny path that we could never have seen the end?

What if His way is the only way- and ours only ever existed in the fantasy of our mind?

It’s crazy how God uses crazy things. He used my pain to draw me closer to Him. He used my humility to point to the One who created all things. He used my void of nothing to give me everything. And after it was all over, He gave me something that I don’t think I ever would have found without my injury.

As the Bible says, for everything, there is a time, for everything there is a season under Heaven. And even during your time of pain and struggle and trial, God is preparing something much, much bigger than you could ever imagine.

He is preparing your entire future.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

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About the Author

is surrounded by three sisters, one brother, and a fat cat who thinks she is waitstaff. She loves reading, writing and anything that has to do with imagination and enjoys National Parks, as they have a great 'scope for the imagination.' Ever since a young age, she has wanted to be an author, and hopes to publish her historical book by the end of her highschool 'career.'



  • Katherine Forster

    This is such a beautiful article, Kayleigh; thank you for sharing it!

  • ZeePt3

    Thank you so much for writing Kiki! I was extremely humbled and encouraged by your article. Again and again I find myself contemplating on how blessed I am, and how often I DON’T pray for those who are in need. Your faith has illuminated my own heart! Praying for you.

    • KayleighAnne E. Stanton

      Thank you so much! I really appreciate it :)

  • Thank you for writing, Kayleigh! Great points. :) I’m learning to trust Him through health struggles too. I’m gradually discovering they are truly designed as blessing from the Lord to draw us ever-so-closely Him in ways our plans never would. Learning to be thankful for the trial is the key to joy and growth in the midst of it.

  • Amen! You’ve captured the heart God’s looking for in the midst of suffering so well. Thanks for sharing your story! It can be so hard to acknowledge or weakness especially when we’re young and struggle physically. But God is good, and like you wrote:

    “As the Bible says, for everything, there is a time, for everything there is a season under Heaven. And even during your time of pain and struggle and trial, God is preparing something much, much bigger than you could ever imagine.

    He is preparing your entire future.”

    BTW, I started a Google+ support group for chronically ill or afflicted young people. If you’d like you can join at here: https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/111482971735944601089.

    Kristin | http://www.soifixmyeyes.com

  • Haven Asnip

    Great article Kayleigh!

  • Karissa Bird

    So encouraging! Thank you for sharing!

  • Bonnie Waldfogel

    Very good and insightful, KaylieghAnne! So proud of you!

  • This was so encouraging for me KayleighAnne! I struggle with being prideful myself, and asking for help is not easy. Your article enlightened me, and gave me some food for thought. 😊Great article!

  • Deb LaRoy

    KayleighAnne! Wow! You have grown up into an amazing young lady. I remember when you were born. I used to work with your Momma. You look just like her. I once heard a pastor say, the things that happen now prepare us for the future. I remember thinking, because I was having a difficult time because my daughter was so sick, boy, I really don’t look forward to the future if what is happening now will get worse. But it didn’t. She got well enough to attend and graduate college and seminary and is now a Pastor and what she went through certainly became a blessing as she helps others go through challenges that they face. And she is a Momma with one daughter who has some muscle and speech delays….she is so patient with her. That daughter is meeting all the challenges head on, working very hard in her therapies and doing quite well. And her little brother calls her Kiki which is what I see is your nickname! Sweet!
    Blessings to you and hi to your Mom. I hope your arms improve and that the future will be filled with many opportunities for you to be a light for Christ. Deb LaRoy

  • Josiah DeBoer

    Just wondering, but how is your hand doing now? Are you ok?

    • KayleighAnne E. Stanton

      They are, little by little, getting better. I have about two PT sessions a week, so I’m going to make a fast recovery. Thanks for asking :) I appreciate it!

  • IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

    We’ve had some very inappropriate Disqus accounts start upvoting peoples’ comments on The Reb. We are blocking/reporting them as soon as we see them. I’ve also contacted Disqus directly about this.

    But you need to be aware of this. DO NOT go browsing through Disqus profiles of people who you do not know. DO NOT click links to their personal websites.

    Please block and flag their accounts. Email me directly ([email protected]) if you find any of these accounts.

    Your safety is our priority, so rest assured, we’re working on it. Friends, I do apologize, though.

    • Amanda C.

      Thanks for making us aware Jaquelle! That is a bummer…it’s the world we live in I guess. Good to be on the lookout.

    • Michael

      Thanks for the warning Jaquelle! To let you know I don’t go on The Reb and Disqus as often as I use to. Doesn’t mean I still go on.

  • Amanda C.

    Great job KayleighAnne!! Congrats on getting your first article published :-) Glad you’re able to write again. Hope you can get that book published by the end of high school, you know there are a few hundred of us who want to read it and are cheering you on! :)

  • Michael

    Congratulations and a great job KayleighAnne!! Keep writing for the Writer of your Life.

  • This article was so encouraging to me! Thank you so much for writing it! :)

  • Isabel

    This is such a wonderful article! A couple months ago when I was fighting depression, I refused to talk to anyone about why. All teens need to know this!

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