Articles 3654212708_dd1ccaaa24_z

Published on June 27th, 2016 | by Haley Seba

My Parents’ Sin Does Not Define Me

Am I my father?

Satan has told me that I am trapped by my father’s sin.

That I will never lose weight because he never has.

That I will never read my Bible consistently because he never has.

That I will never be able to create margin in my life because he never has.

That I will never overcome addiction because he never has.

Satan tells me that I will never change because my father is 50, and he has not changed. Satan is lying to me, and I have let his lies trap me for 17 years.

Maybe Satan has lied to you. Maybe you are trapped with no hope of ever changing, either by the pattern of your own sins or by the pattern of the sins of your father or mother.

Romans 7:11: “For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death.”

Romans 7:19: “For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.”

Romans 7:22-24: “For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?”

I have believed that the generational sin that exists in my family will define my future for too long. Recently, someone told me the truth.

Romans 8:11: “And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.”

You see, our father or mother’s sins do not define our future.

Romans 6:6-7: “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin – because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.”

You and I are not only free from our own sin, but the sin of our parents as well. The fact that my father has not changed does NOT mean that God cannot change me.

Romans 6:14: “For sin shall no longer be our master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.”

I am free, and you are free too.

It is not my earthly father, but my heavenly Father who determines my future.

Romans 8:14-15: “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.'”

Through the Spirit, I have hope that I can change. And I will change.

I am not my father.

Romans 7:25: “Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!”

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Photo courtesy of Oka Tal-Lee and Flickr Creative Commons.


About the Author

is an 18-year-old farm girl in rural Missouri who is on fire for Christ. She is homeschooled and spends her summers working on her family’s farm. Theatre, fiber arts, and reading are her hobbies, but her passion is foster children. She loves spending time with family, and her perfect evening would include a family dinner with lots of laughter and card games.

  • KmasterZ

    Thanks Haley for writing this blog. It has helped me already! I am struggling with this too. I have thought “I don’t want to be like my dad. I’m going to be there for my kids when I grow up.” This blog is amazing. You did a fantastic job on it. Thanks again!

    • Haley

      @kmasterz:disqus, I’m so glad that this article spoke to you today. This was a big step for me in the last few weeks, seeing through Satan’s lies and trying to wrap my head around the grace of God once more. Although I do not have an absent father, there are many struggles in my life surrounding my relationship with my Dad. In fact, it was my father who once told me that, no matter what a parent might wish for their child, every single parent will leave scars on their children. As I have had to face my own scars, it is important for me to not focus so much on the failings of my earthly father, but on the grace of my heavenly father. I pray that someday you will be healed from the scars of your father.

  • Hannah T.

    Thanks for this, Hayley. This helps a lot.

    • Haley

      I’m so glad, Hannah.

  • KmasterZ

    She did a good job didn’t she?

    • Anne

      She did an awesome job!

  • Haven Asnip

    Wonderful article Haley!

    • Haley

      Thanks, Haven.

  • Kate

    Thank you, Haley, I needed to hear that!
    Great article:)

    • Haley

      Glad it was good timing. Thanks for reading!

      • Kate

        You are welcome:)

  • Okie Gal

    This is so good, I’m so glad it’s true. Thank you so much for writing this!

    • Haley

      I am very glad it’s true as well!

  • Anne

    I loved this, Haley! Really, really good article. Thank you so much for writing this. I enjoyed it. :)

    • Haley

      I am so glad you enjoyed it. My prayer with every article is that not only will it be enjoyed, but that God works through it. I appreciate you reading!

  • Jalen Barbour

    Awesome, Haley!

    • Haley


  • M. Victoria

    Beautiful article, Haley!! :)

    • Haley

      Thank you. God bless!

  • Beautiful poetic writing Haley! You made me smile and realize even more that will God anything is possible. :)
    Bekah ( )

    • Haley

      Amen, Bekah!

  • Amanda

    So true! I love how you used those verses…I’m memorizing Romans 5-8 this summer, so I’ve been reading those a lot. :)

    • Haley

      I love those chapters in Romans so much. They are all marked up from my many readings. :) Kudos on memorizing such a chunk!

  • This is a topic that needs a voice. Far too often we look at the people in our family and the fears of becoming like them can be overwhelming at times. But what we need to remembere is the fact that God’s children have a clean slate, that because of Christ’s death that paid for each and every sin is paid for. The sins of others, the mistakes and shortcomings of others do not define us and that the only thing that will ever define us is God’s Word.

    • Haley

      Well said, @TatianaWood:disqus. I am so thankful for your words. Over and over and over, I have had to be reminded of the way that the Father defines me. I listen too often to the whispers of the evil one or the words of the world. This scripture I go back to again and again. I am free in Him.

  • We had a talk about this on father’s day and even this last week we went into it again. Great, great post, Haley! Super encouraging. :)

    Jazzy @

  • KmasterZ

    If you are going through this just think of this.

    Keep Calm

  • KmasterZ


    • Kate

      Thanks, KmasterZ , I’ll remember that:)

  • Okie Gal

    I reread this today, and it’s just what I need. Thanks again!

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