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Published on August 11th, 2015 | by Discussion Questions

Should Christians get into romantic relationships with (possible) non-Christians?





ANONYMOUS WRITES: A friend of mine has been seeing a young man over the summer with her parents present. He meets all of her standards that she wants in a future husband except for one thing: They don’t know if he’s saved; or if he is, he’s a burnt Christian. Is it okay to get into a relationship with someone who you don’t know where they are spiritually?


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are submitted by real rebelutionaries who are looking for godly answers to tough questions and lively conversation with other young adults. You can join the conversation by commenting below. If you'd like to submit your own discussion question, email us at [email protected]



  • Amanda

    No! Never. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but there are all kinds of problems with this.

    The purpose of romantic relationships is to find a spouse, and God tells us not to marry unbelievers, so why would we date them?

    Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 NIV

    If you get into a relationship like that with someone who is not like-minded with you in spiritual matters, they will most likely end up leading you astray, and if they don’t, you’ll have a lot of conflict because you have two completely different worldviews. I know it’s difficult sometimes, but please save yourself a boatload of trouble and just don’t go there.

    • This is exactly what my mother would say! I couldn’t have said it better, Amanda! Thank you for commenting.

  • Emma Grace

    Amanda said that very well. That is not okay. I have a friend who dated a non believer for a while and it caused nothing but heart ache. Its just sad. and if you are in tune with the Lord you won’t want to have a deep relationship with guy/girl who doesn’t love CHRIST the way you do. I know this can be extremely hard. But, its just not a good idea. I agree with what Amanda said about not being unequally yoked. That is so important. Im praying for you! Be in the word and pray about this. God will not lead you astray, but be aware that satan wants nothing more than to lead you away from Gods plan for your life.

  • Emma Grace

    And i see you said (possible) there. If they ant obviously following Christ and you can’t see fruit in their life.. even if they do claim to be christians.. You don’t want that relationship.

    • Gabrielle

      amen

  • I came on here to write a nice long comment, but @disqus_LzTgmwudVU:disqus said it all.

    • Guitar with Arms

      IKR?

    • Emma Grace

      Haha pretty much lol

  • Guitar with Arms

    No.

    • Doh I was SOOOO tempted to put just “No”, but yeah. Case closed, people! Josh and Amanda said everything that needed to be said. Nobody needs to comment anymore. Close the thread.

      • Gabrielle

        Ditto that!!

  • Gabrielle

    Definitely not!! Being friends is ok, but not that type of relationship.

  • Audrey French

    My mom has always told me that a good person to consider a relationship with would be someone who loves Jesus more then he loves me..I agree :-)

  • I echo what many people have said. No, I don’t believe that in any circumstances Christians should date non-Christians. I’ve talked to several Christian girls who have crushes on non-believers, so I know this is a huge problem! But God has someone for each of us who will draw us closer to Him, not away from Him. I believe with all my heart that it’s worth the wait–even if the non-believer fits everything else. :)

  • BR!ANNAH

    No, I dont think so. Because even though He may be “perfect” in later years it could become a problem (the fact that He is not a Christian) and once you are emotionally attach to that person its hard to break the relationship. Believe me it hurts a LOT and few people are capable of breaking up afterwards, which if you dont it will end up in total destruction. So the best thing is to not date a non-Christian. You will save yourself a lot of heartbreaks and tears.

  • Madison Camp

    Isn’t that why you are in the relationship? To get to know the person and see where they are spiritually? If he hasn’t come out and said he’s not then she needs to ask him about it immediately. On the other hand if you can’t tell if he’s a christian by his actions…what does that say about his faith? That’s my 2 cents. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Natalie Marie

      Those are some pretty good points, @Madison Camp:disqus! :) I do know that when he first came over to their house, her dad had a talk with him; but she doesn’t know what was said in that conversation. I guess she just left what was said between them, between them.

  • Haylie

    Erm, no. Just no. @disqus_LzTgmwudVU:disqus purdy much covered what my response would have been. I think that the whole point of getting to know someone through Godly dating (or courting) is growing closer to God yourself, and helping your possible future spouse do the same. That’s kinda hard to do with someone who isn’t for sure a believer.

  • Leah

    I think it’s best to get to know someone on a spiritual level BEFORE pursuing a romantic relationship with them. We should not be yoked to unbelievers, even if it’s not supposed to be permanent. It leads to temptation and sin. And especially as a girl, when guys are supposed to be leaders in the household, even over spiritual stuff, it’s important that they’re on the same level or above yours when it comes to faith.

  • How can a Christian truly follow Jesus when they are yoked to someone who has no interest in following Jesus? This is why Paul used the analogy of being “unequally yoked” together with unbelievers. An unequal yoke goes nowhere, because each are going in other directions. A marriage must have a united focus and goals, something believers and unbelievers don’t and can’t share. So, my blunt answer would be no.

    • Gabrielle

      HI @Taylor B!! How have you been lately?

      • Gabrielle

        Sorry. Not about the subject at all!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Hey, Gabrielle! I’m good, how bout yourself? Long time, no see!

        • Gabrielle

          I’m ok. I’m not doing all that great spiritually. I have a lot of things going on with me right now, but God is faithful and He knows how to encourage you for sure!!

          It’s great to start reading blogs again. It’s been a while, and I miss it!! Haven’t been on Revive in a few days, intentionally!! You inspired me and confirmed what God had already been kinda telling me. Thanks for being awesome!!! So glad I ‘know’ you!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

          School starts in Sept, after Labor Day. When do you start? Are you home-schooled?

          • Ha, ha, leaving Random Ramblings was a great decision! I’d consider it!

            Hey, I saw your comment over on mine! Thanks for visiting and commenting! I appreciate comments, cause they keep me motivated to keep writing!

            Oh, nice! I’m homeschooled, so I haven’t stopped. :) Just the way it goes! What grade are you in?

          • Gabrielle

            Yeah! I’ve been enjoying some of the ‘random’ conversations and polls, but I never felt like going through tons of posts. It takes up a lot of time. It would be nice if I could just go to specific posts and save time. The girls space, conference idea, prayer sometimes, and inspiration are awesome!!! The serious conversations have always been great!!! Me on random ramblings will be rare, but hey, so will my time on revive in general!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ My life is already chaotic and busy!!! I’m desperately trying to build my relationship with the Lord. You guys rock though!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ LOI!!!

            You’re welcome!! You’re a greater writer!! I admire that you’re such a deep thinker. Getting feedback from readers is always great!!

            I’ve done some school during the summer, esp. the month of June, but July was vacation for almost the whole month. I am now a junior. Can’t wait to graduate!! Aren’t you a senior now? Have any plans for after high school?

          • As soon as I finish up this year, I will be a senior, so about another month. After high school, college! I’ll probably spend about a year at home doing CLEP tests and the like, then transfer credits over to a more reputable university like Cedarville, Summit, Masters, or something similar for a Biblical Studies degree. That’s the plan at this point anyway!

            What about you?

          • Gabrielle

            AWESOME!! Cool beans!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

            Well, I want to either start doing dual enrollment this fall or next fall. If not that I was thinking about taking the year after I graduate to do CLEP tests. We’re still praying though, trying to follow what God is saying about it all – college, major….. I LOVE Liberty University, which is located in Virginia. That’s where both of my older sisters are. One’s online, and the other is living in VA. One option is to take general classes at a community college then go to Liberty. I would be ok if I did online classes wherever for a while, but it would be nice to actually be on campus with people. Just waiting on God’s direction and for Him to make it all plain.

            As of right now I have a passion for working with teens, especially unwed mothers. I want to be there for them after they have an abortion and also the preventive side of not getting pregnant in the first place. The topics of Abstinence, Modesty, and Purity are very important to me, and I can talk about them all day long!! So that major what be basically what my oldest sister’s is: psychology or social work with Christian counseling. Also business. I make greeting cards and have had several customers buy. That along with photography. I’m in the process of coming up with prices ’cause I have people asking. I have a business name too : Creative Expressions by Alise. Another thing is being a doula or midwife. I want to take classes for that within the next couple years or so. I’ve always wanted to be an author too. I have three books lined up to write, and I can’t wait to write them. Hopefully I get at least one done before turning twenty.

            THAT WAS REALLY LONG!! I’M FOREVER TALKING, OR TYPING!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ WAS THAT TOO MUCH?

          • Ha, ha, no, that wasn’t too much. I’m interested to hear of your interest in Liberty; what do you like so much about it? It has been mentioned before in our family conversations about college, and I’d like to know everything I can about it!

            I will probably wind up doing the year at home after grad to do CLEPs as well. It cuts down on college costs tremendously!

          • Gabrielle

            Well, it’s a Christian school that completely stands out from other so-called Christian schools. The student and your success is the teacher’s focus. They pray before each class, and it’s open if any student has prayer requests. There are people who literally pray for each student by name. Um… I love all the many activities on campus. They have a great social worker program. Here’s something from their website, “Since 1971, the mission of Liberty University has been to develop
            Christ-centered men and women with the values, knowledge, and skills
            essential for impacting tomorrowโ€™s world. With a unique heritage and an
            ever-expanding influence, Liberty remains steadfast in its commitment of
            Training Champions for Christ.”

            Also, every Mon, Wed., and Fri. there is convocation. At that time during the morning they pretty much down things on campus. They have different speakers – Chris Tomlin, Toby Mac, Tim Tebow, Bethany Hamilton, Kirk Cameron, etc…. Christ is definitely the focus. You’ll definitely be digging into God’s Word. And like anywhere, everyone there does not have a personal relationship with Christ.

            Now of course, this isn’t the only awesome Christian school in the world. You go wherever God tells you. I just love it. I was kinda looking at Harding University in Arkansas, just to see what’s there. Still praying, but we’re leaning towards Liberty.

            Maybe you should just check it out and see what they offer that you might be interested in. Instead of going on campus you can totally do online classes of course. You could also schedule to tour during one of their Friendly Friday. Check out their site sometime.

            Yep, CLEP tests are always a good idea!!! That and/or dual enrollment.

            TTYL.

          • Gabrielle
  • Well, the way I feel romance should be pursued, is through friendship and support without romance before close to or even after engagement. I feel it’s important to be best friends with that special someone. During the friendship we look for possible problems and potential areas of friction. If he/she’s the one, than our relationship grows until it’s time to pop the question.

    This way you can keep your options open and not be “committed” to one relationship but strengthen many of your friendships.

    I would like to call it the Friendtationship Style of relationship building. ๐Ÿ˜€

    I actually wrote two articles about it, from different perspectives:

    On love –
    http://www.thesoldiersofgod.com/love-part-1/

    On dating – http://www.thesoldiersofgod.com/isnt-there-a-better-way/

    On marriage –
    http://www.thesoldiersofgod.com/201503whats-important-in-marriage-part-1/

    Thank you so much for your awesome question! :)

    • Natalie Marie

      Welcome @trent_blake:disqus, I’ll have to look at those sites

    • Emma Grace

      That’s awesome. Definitely. I will check those out!

    • MimeforJesus

      This is an interesting way to explain it, mind if I ask you some questions about it?

  • Joseph M

    The Bible clearly says no to these relationships (unequally yoked). When you do this, you are allowing yourself to be pulled away. Some may argue that we can influence them for good to bring them to Christ, but honestly, it’s not gonna happen. It’s like saying that your white sock will turn mud white.

  • Sam G

    Generally, you’d expect that in a romantic relationship like this one, both people would be open about their spiritual state. If that’s not happening, then โ€“ just a suggestion โ€“ couldn’t something be wrong? Surely, if you don’t know where someone is spiritually, you really don’t know that much about them at all.

    I don’t believe pursuing a romantic relationship with a non-Christian is a good idea. If it goes nowhere, I think it’s a bit of a waste of time. If it does result in marriage, the consequences can be much more severe.

    Sorry if this sounded harsh.

  • PJ Gerber

    I would say don’t peruse a romantic relationship, but definitely don’t stop the friendship, or atleast don’t leave him without a proper Christian friend to help guide him and revive his spiritual life, try and bring him into your youth group or church if your older as you are considering marriage, but bring him into a group that will influence him positively. Just don’t pursue a relationship if he isn’t on a good path with Christ, as many have said it leads to temptation and a divided house in the future.

    • do you know a Brian and Andrea Gerber? :) They’re friends of ours. (though I do know that Gerber is a common last name)

      • PJ Gerber

        Hmm… I don’t think so, are the from South Africa, that’s where i was born. And well the name Gerber does mean Tanner,so I guess the are probably a lot of tanners :/. Tell them their long lost cousin PJ said Hey. :)
        Cya Liana

        • haha, I will. Ohio is a pretty far cry from South Africa, but there’s a whole integrated, complex network of Gerber’s. So you might be related ๐Ÿ˜›

  • ShyGaladriel

    And then there’s the sister who just decided to date a guy who is decidedly a non-christian, and she doesn’t care that EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF HER FAMILY is cautioning her to NOT DO IT.

  • Okie Gal

    While good witness is important, if your friend is having romantic feelings for this guy, I would suggest she distance herself. I know that’ll be really hard, but let her know it’s a way to protect her soul. Of course, encourage her to pray and stay in the Word. She’s going to need all the encouragement she can get through this, so be ready.

  • mrose

    My husband and I dated when I wasn’t a Christian. He was in a mild rebellion at the time and didn’t care much about it. I did become a Christian and became an “annoying zealot” to him because I was excited about my new found faith in Christ. That is what many believers hope happen in relationships with non-believers. I wish it did too. Unfortunately, as a mom with teens, who have observed a lot of other teens and marriage relationships, that is NOT what normally happens. My husband later told me that if I hadn’t become a Christian, he wouldn’t have married me. (I actually didn’t know that at the time!)

    I can only imagine the heartbreak that would have occurred on both our sides if I hadn’t come to Christ. He didn’t want to tell me about that “small detail” because he wanted my conversion to be genuine and not done simply to secure him! (Little did he know that I was going to be his irritating conscience once I became a believer!)

    The fact is, this happens rarely. What generally happens is either heartbreak, or they end up getting married anyways, and the relationship has spiritual tension for the rest of their married lives. (I’ve seen this more times than I care to admit.)

    Most of the time, the reason a believer dates a non-believer is because they have become complacent or even rebellious to the things of God, like my PK husband. I have observed this trait across the board on all the teens and young adults who are currently in relationships with non-believers.

    God’s Word clearly states, (as many others have already said) that we are not to be unequally yoked to unbelievers. Period. If you know a friend who is currently dating a non-believer, try to find out where they are at in their walk with God. Chances are, you will discover that their hearts are desiring the things of the world more than the things of God. Encourage them. Pray for them, and lovingly keep pointing them to God’s truths. You might end up saving them a lifetime of pain if they listen.

    • Alyssa Cross

      That is a good point- that if a Christian is dating a non-Christian, it is likely the symptom of a deeper problem: not loving God enough. If you are not loving God enough, you may not care to obey his commandment to not be unequally yoked (2 Cor. 6:14), and it may not be a big deal that your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t have God as #1, since you don’t either.

    • Thank you so much for sharing this testimony, @disqus_3V0LBEetNG:disqus ! It’s very encouraging to see an adult’s opinion and perspective on questions teens struggle with!

    • I’m currently in a relationship with a Catholic, but she doesn’t attend their church. She began questioning me what’s the difference of the two etc, and questions why God did this and did that. Then I told her about the new heaven and earth for some reasons, and she was like in AWE* Literally, she really believed it. She is so wonderfully amazed by it. She said she accepted Jesus Christ when she was in 3rd grade. I can see it in her the fruit of the Spirit of goodness and so, but she’s always mad in some things, and sometimes she can’t help to say bad words when she’s very upset in some things. What should I do?

      • mrose

        Amos, I would encourage you, first of all, to not give your heart completely away to someone if there is any doubt about where she stands as a believer. Take it slowly, and prayerfully.

        Also, if you read my above comment, you will see that I wasn’t a believer in Jesus when I first began to date my husband. What I didn’t mention is that before that point, I was a Catholic.

        I, too, had a belief in Jesus, and thought I knew Him. I had gone to Catholic school, and in the early years, at least at our school, they emphasized Jesus’s love and teachings.

        However, so many of their other teachings pulled me away from Him, such as saying rote prayers over and over again. Such as going to the priest for forgiveness of sins instead of going straight to Jesus to ask for forgiveness. I could go on indefinitely here, but what I am saying is that it is possible to grow up in the Catholic church and have a general love and belief in Jesus, but never really have a personal relationship with Him through direct repentance of sin, and a turning to Him as Lord and Savior.

        I am not saying that it isn’t possible to truly be a devoted follower of Jesus if you are in the Catholic faith. Only God can know the hearts of people. But make sure that she understands what the scriptures teach about salvation and Who Jesus is.

        As to the other qualities you described, such as anger and foul language-we are all a work in progress, but the scriptures teach that what comes out of our mouths reveals what is in our hearts. (Matthew 12:34) A true encounter with Jesus Christ, coupled with what we take into our minds and hearts, (like God’s Word) are the only things that will change that, my friend!

        • Thank you. I do believe she has the picture of the right perspective but I she needs more a more clear insight about the salvation, about the free gift of Jesus Christ that has for her. I am really praying for it, we’re both in a legal relationship, our parents knows our relationship and approved it. I am still studying and she is working. It is my prayer that we live a personal life first that glorifies, honors and praises God in whatever we do. Thank you for your reply mrose. I really appreciate it.

        • God bless!

      • Rachel

        Amos, my youth pastor said once if a woman or man lets bad words slip every once in a while, then they are going to do it when your married. That will cause a bad marriage because she will let one slip when she is angry at you and cuss words are meant to tear down. You will feel like she is trying to be hurtful with her words and she will tear down your relationship.

    • This comment is awesome!

  • Laini Russell

    I think that you should know before you get into a romantic relationship whether or not they are Christians.. And if they were a Christian you would hope it would be rather obvious. It wouldn’t be something I’d want to get into if they weren’t a Christian unless I felt God leading me otherwise ( happened with my dad and mom)

  • tmselden

    The short answer is unequivocally NO!

    • MimeforJesus

      Hi Mrs. Selden, how are you doing?

      • tmselden

        Thanks so much for asking. You are a very kind person. I am doing much better. And by the way are you really a mime?

        • MimeforJesus

          (You’re welcome, and I’m glad to hear it. I was a mime… this school year I’m leaving the team. But yes, I was one for three and a half years. :)

  • Jasmine

    I think this verse speaks for itself. =)

    2 Corinthians 6:14
    Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

    But also, asking him about his faith might work. Pray for your friend and talk to your friend about it and see what she thinks. Ask God for the right words to say to her. Hope this helps! =)

  • Cassie

    As everyone else has said: no. No, no, and no. To summarise it into a sentence: no missionary dating!

  • She should be able to tell if he is a Christian by seeing how he acts and seeing if he’s growing as a Christian. But if she is good friends with him I would think that she should be able to talk with him and ask him about it. But as for considering marrying a non christian, It’s just not right as other people have pointed out!

  • Sarah de Kroon

    Marrying unsaved people is looking for a life of guaranteed misery. Guaranteed. I would beg her to quit. I have seen it over and over and over again. Misery, torture. My best friend insisted on marrying a man who was fresh out of drug rehab and unsaved. I showed her the scriptures about not being unequally yoked. She told me she had a talk with him and he said he didn’t mind her going to church at all. So I told her I would tell her one time the truth. But she waved off the scriptures and went ahead. She had two years of absolute hellish torture with him and he died of a drug overdose. Obey the Lord he knows what is best for all of us.

    Listen to what the Lord says….

    2 Corinthians 6
    14Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
    15What agreement does Christ have with Belial?(meaning Satan)

    Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
    16And what agreement does Godโ€™s sanctuary have with idols? For we are the sanctuary of the living God, as God said:

    I will dwell among them
    and walk among them,
    and I will be their God,
    and they will be My people.

    17Therefore, come out from among them
    and be separate, says the Lord;
    do not touch any unclean thing,
    and I will welcome you.

    18I will be a Father to you,
    and you will be sons and daughters to Me,
    says the Lord Almighty

    • HeartSeed

      It also causes misery to the children too. And there’s a danger of the cycle repeating in the next generation too. It’s better to choose cycle of blessing from obedience than the opposite.

  • Danny

    Simply put, NO.

    • liv737johnoxide

      I highly agree!

  • Becca<3

    I was in an extremely close friendship with a guy who said he was saved. We weren’t allowed to date, so we just lived under the label of “friends” even though we were very close and flirted a lot. Anyway, this guy definitely was not in the same place I was spiritually, he was very private about his relationship with God, he never really wanted to talk about deep theology, and he got mad at me when I said something about his spiritual maturity. He told me I didn’t have the right to make the call on where he was (what happened to “you shall know them by their fruits” am I right?).

    I saw the friendship heading to a place where it could certainly be much more romantic, and I was scared to travel down that path. With my parent’s guidance, I had to tell him that I couldn’t progress any further. There were multiple other red flags, but mainly we had already broken the boundaries of dating purely in the sense that we were very emotionally involved (though looking back, I think I was the one most invested emotionally).

    He got upset with me, and hasn’t spoken to me since the beginning of January. It has been a huge struggle with many (MANY) tears shed, but God has showered me with His grace, and I think I’m finally able to move on, especially after hearing that this guy is currently seeing one of my other friends (which really hurts to hear). My advice is don’t progress AT ALL until you are certain of a guy’s spiritual maturity. Be able to have open discussions about theology and God and politics together and see what his beliefs are. It will save you so much heartache, I promise!

    • I had something very similar happen! Thanks for sharing your story!! It really is an encouragement!!!

  • Mary

    I have to agree with everyone saying no. Marriage is the uniting of two people. They are now one. But if one part is united with Christ and the other is not, how can they be safely and rightly united? It’s like water trying to mix with oil and become one. It doesn’t work well, if at all. But i’m sure you friend cares about this guy. I mean she practically found the guy of her dreams. But God has someone for her that fits all her standards for future husband including a shared love of Christ. It could be this guy but not where he appears to be now.

  • Haley Seba

    The thing about getting involved a relationship (with intent to marry or without), where one person is a believer and the other is not, is that the relationship is not Christ-centered. If Christ is truly the center of a person’s life, and the significant other does not share that, how can a couple ever connect on the most important aspect of the believer’s life? A relationship, no matter how strong, how fun, how “perfect”, will never have the same starting or ending place.

    I have an aunt who married a man who is an unbeliever. It is so sad to see their life 20 years later, still not truly “connecting”. In fact, her relationship with God has suffered severely from being married to someone who doesn’t understand the importance of her relationship with Christ. Think of Solomon and his wives, how he was drawn away from Christ over time. Worse than that, her 3 sons don’t have a spiritual foundations. With no strong spiritual leader in the home, they don’t know what to believe.

    So, as hard as it may be for your friend, she needs to step back and really evaluate her future, not just her present. Is he really “perfect” in every other area other than the fact that he is not a Christian? What if that “one thing” effects every decision that has to be made as a couple? It effects finances, in-law relations, the friends you choose, how larger decisions should be approached, and children. It will dramatically effect your children’s faith as well. With no spiritual leader, how can your or your children’s faith grow and thrive? The reality is that faith effects everything, as it should. When seeking a spouse, this is so important to remember.

    I hope that you are able to guide her, and the she is able to step back and seek God on this decision.

    • Faith B

      Thank you i totally agree

  • Louis Gervais

    Should Christians get into romantic relationships with (possible) non-Christians? Bad Idea.

  • Faith B

    It says in the bible to be unequally yoked with Christians and non Christians. so no!

  • Brooke Lauren

    Don’t do it…it is so dangerous. I was in a relationship with someone before who seemed like everything I wanted–however, while he was interested in God, he was not a Christian. It can be easy to convince yourself that “things might change, he might come around…He seems like he’s okay with going to church….it will all work out.” Please, please think about this. Ask yourself if this man, who does not believe as you do, is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, the one you want to raise children with? Ask yourself if this is God’s best for your life. I wish I had asked those questions early instead of later. God has the power to heal and to give grace, but only if we do as he asks–which sometimes involves making the hard decisions in light of the future, not just the present. I’m praying for you!

  • Matthew M.

    The Short Answer:
    Simply put, absolutely no.
    The Long Answer:
    Let me answer your question with # questions.
    1. Why are you dating?
    Is it to have a best friend? Is it to have a companion? Is it to get married?
    With your motive down you can proceed to examine the rest of the issue.
    In my opinion, dating is to find a spouse. It’s not a game.
    2. Why would you want to date an unbeliever out of all the believers you know?
    He’s spiritually dead. He’s an enemy of God. He’s against God. He hates God. He can’t keep you accountable. He can’t commune with you. He can’t point you to Christ. He can’t love you with Christ’s love. He can’t encourage or exhort you. He can’t do anything that will spiritually enrich you. His thoughts are worthless (Ephesians 4:18). His every action is sinful.
    In the end, it’s not worth it.
    Most importantly, God doesn’t want us to commune with unbelievers (1 Corinthians 10:14-22).
    God commands us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-18).
    Why should you not date unbelievers?
    a. They can corrupt your morals (1 Corinthians 15:33)
    b. They can lead you after other gods (see the example of King Saul and his foreign wives.)
    c. God says not to.
    You’ll find more joy and fulfillment with someone you can share with, experience, talk about, and grow in Christ.

  • Sam B

    No. This summer I was at camp, and our cabin was every 8th grade boy there. Our church doesn’t have many 8th graders in general, but we only have about 15 boys. So since we’re just now getting into girls and relationships, we had a lot of questions. We spent probably at least an hour discussing this, and our counselor told us one thing that really stood out to me. He said that the purpose of dating and of marriage is to draw each other closer to Christ. So if your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t a follower of Christ, there isn’t technically a reason for you to be with that person. As Christians, we are told to serve Christ in everything we do, and I believe that is our (Christians) purpose in life. If we are in a relationship with a non-Christian, then we can’t draw each other to Christ. Now you, the Christian can try to draw the other to salvation in Jesus Christ, but she or he can not draw you closer to Christ because they do not follow the Lord.
    Now I can’t relate to this very much, because I’m only 13, which to me is too young to date, even though people in my grade do it. I also go to a Christian school, where the majority, not everyone, but the majority, want to serve Christ. I now have a better glimpse on what a Christian relationship really is after camp, and why not to date a non-Christian. And also, if your girlfriend or boyfriend is not a Christian and you are, they can tempt you into many bad things, especially sexual temptations. They can also lead you away from God, which is probably the biggest reason why not to date a non-believer. My uncle was raised in a Christian home, along with my dad and my other uncle who is now with the Lord, and my aunt. My other uncle who has passed away was a strong Christian, and my aunt still is. But the uncle who I’m referring to married a non-believer, and does not go to church anymore. I’m not sure if his wife (my aunt) lead him away from going to church or if it was his decision. My immediate family has talked to her about Christianity and her response was “I believe there is a God, but I’m not sure about the whole Jesus thing.” Recently she has been struggling with Cancer and may have come to Christ through that, but we’re not sure. She posted something on Facebook that mentioned something like “I’m trusting in Jesus through this difficult time”, which led us to believe she might have been saved recently, but we really don’t know. I still pray for her salvation every night, even though she might be a Christian. If your friend stays with that person, I hope she can lead him to Jesus. I will be praying for you, your friend, and her boyfriend as you struggle with this.

  • I know this question was posted a few weeks ago, but I just ran across a good article on the Gospel Coalition website that I think addresses this question well. Here is a link to the article for those who may be interested.
    http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/dont-take-it-from-me-reasons-you-should-not-marry-an-unbeliever

  • HeartSeed

    Before anything, ask God for guidance first. If it’s confirmed that the guy in question is unsaved…

    …watching someone who is close to you* walking in the wrong path is very painful, so if you love your friend so much, tell her about 2 Corinthians 6:14** ASAP (reproach with love of course).

    *seriously, you don’t want to experience this
    **this verse is applicable not only in romantic relationships, but even in business startups, choosing of best friends, and in many other aspects of life.

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