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Published on April 2nd, 2013 | by Brett Harris

Ann Voskamp: A Letter to My Son

I met Ann Voskamp at Patrick Henry College in September of 2011. She was there for a public interview with Marvin Olasky for WORLD Magazine and the coffee shop crowd was overflowing into the lobby. We all strained to hear the soft-spoken words of this homeschooling mother of six, this gentle wordsmith, who was championing gratitude for even the smallest of God’s good gifts.

After the interview I stood in line to greet her, to thank her for her work, and to give her a copy of Do Hard Things for her teenage children. Upon reaching the front of the line I experienced a very pleasant case of role reversal. I thought I was the excited “fan” getting to meet a modern hero of the faith — but Ann seemed just as excited to meet me! Their family loved our book, she told me, and her children would be so jealous. We snapped a picture and she had to leave.

Since that meeting I have been repeatedly blessed by Ann’s blog, A Holy Experience, and by her example of quiet faithfulness despite being caught up in a whirlwind of ministry she wasn’t expecting or even looking for. Most recently I was riveted by her article in the aftermath of the Steubenville trial — as she wrote to her son about what it means to be a man. Here are some high points:

  • When the prevailing thinking is boys will be boys — girls will be garbage.
  • Unless a man looks to Jesus, a man doesn’t know how to treat a woman.
  • Real Manhood never objectifies women. Real Manhood edifies women.
  • Real Manhood means you don’t get drunk, and a man can get drunk on a lot more than alcohol.
  • Real Manhood means peer pressure only makes you stronger in Christ.
  • Real Manhood means you take responsibility for your body.
  • Real Men never pressure but treasure.
  • Real Men of God are men for the hurting.

Ann’s article makes it clear that God loves, honors, defends, and affirms His daughters — and how real men do the same. She shows us the ugliness of boys being boys, gives us hope that there are still a few good men, and what we must do to join their ranks. Please read it to the end.

Dear Son,

When you’re the mother of four sons, Steubenville is about us.

Steubenville is about having a conversation with sons about hard things and asking you to do holy things.

Because a Steubenville doesn’t begin with football and it doesn’t begin with alcohol and it doesn’t begin with unsupervised jocks with inflated egos and shriveled morals. It begins with one woman bringing home a man-child in her arms, one mama unwrapping that blanket and what it means to raise up a man.

It begins with one mama looking into her son’s eyes for the next 18 years and showing him what it means to be a woman.

I brought you home when I was 21.

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About the Author

is a loving husband to Ana, a devoted follow of Jesus Christ, founder of TheRebelution.com, and co-author of Do Hard Things: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations along with his twin brother, Alex. When he isn't writing or blogging he can be found reading, playing basketball, or being an all-around goof ball.



  • http://notjustateen.blogspot.com/ Nathan Tasker

    Wow, what a powerful and humbling letter! There are so many great points in here that we all need to learn. This is one of my favorite quotes: “Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”

    It’s amazing to me that God – even in the very beginning – would symbolize for us just how we should regard, respect, and love women. It is so true that there is no better example than Jesus Christ. He alone could live a perfect life. Why would we strive to be like anyone else? I pray constantly that He would grow me into a man of His likeness.

  • Eva M

    I’m so glad that this article was published! Rape culture is so prevalent in society today, yet it is never addressed in the church. In fact, so many “Christians” are so violently opposed to any form of feminism (often ignorantly) that it can seem like you don’t even care about justice, or like women’s issues are invisible.

    Also I officially love Ann Voskamp :)

  • Elisabeth

    Wow…I really like her blog, especially the music. It fits with her theme very well! Great post. Thanks!

  • skyla

    wow thank you for posting this, love her blog

    FOR Brett
    I emailed you back again like you requested…just letting you know

    I am still getting major lag and millions of page errors…

  • Hana

    Amazing! I love the part that says “boys will be boys- girls will be garbage.” I’ve never thought it in that way. Really good post. Thanks!

  • Sadie

    Absolutely stunning. Great wording, incredible points, filled with Biblical perspective. I checked out the original article written by her, and it is incredible. Plan on doing some research on Steubenville soon. Many thanks to Mrs. Voskamp for her determination to stand for truth and righteousness. It takes a lot of courage. Also, that’s so cool that she was a fan of you when you got in line as a fan of hers!
    Through people like Mrs. Voskamp, the world will never be void of good, God-fearing, respectful gentlemen, and through her influence we can hope there will be many gentle-women as well. Your articles on modern day Chivalry pertain well to this, as well as A Real Man and A Real Woman listed on the side of the blog. Suggest everyone reads them. Very good.

  • Shelby

    All I can say is WOW! It’s a real eye opener! Thanks for posting!

  • http://TiAS.rothfuss.us/ Spencer R.

    I literally have tears in my eyes. That is amazing, powerful, uplifting information. Mrs. Voskamp has a way with words. Thank you Alex and Brett for sharing.

  • Moriah

    I have almost finished reading “1000 Gifts” by Mrs. Voskamp for the first time and it is life changing. I was excited to see this on here and the complete article is just beautiful. Thank you so much for posting this.

  • Anonymous

    What a powerful and necessary message! Sometimes it so easy to get discouraged by the evil in the world (and in our hearts). Recently I came across a refreshingly honest blog post: a confession by a young man. http://whitelikescarlet.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/its-a-jesus-story/

    It’s not all bad news, folks. God is working.

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