Announcement: The Modesty Survey

Would you gentlemen consider making a little AD like your flashing Rebelution AD to put on the side bar of blogs? This could prove to be beneficial in getting the word out.

This is a great idea. Thank you so much for doing it.

Great idea!

Modesty is not simply “clothing regulations” as Danny put it. The attraction God created between a guy and gal is truly wonderful and amazing. If we don’t take necessary measures to combat lust (those good attractions twisted into evil), we ruin those good things God designed. Immodest clothing leaves open doors for lust. Thus, modesty is critically important to combat lust -something our culture is corruptly preoccupied with.

This is a great way to allow communication between brothers and sisters in Christ so that we can help one another in this area.

Like Erin’s mom said, if you could put out a code for us use on our xangas, myspace, etc. it would help get word out about this whole site. Thanks!

THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for this!

It will be wonderful. I am greatful that I have always been brought up to dress very modestly, and I often get questions from girls who don’t kind understand the concept. So this will be great for them, but also for me too!

Great Idea!
I cannot wait to see what God will do through this survey, maybe this will help start a “rebelution” in the dress of todays women young and old alike.

You have my support in any way I can help.

Your Brother in Christ,
Joshua

I could help set up the polling system.

Sorry, I didn’t get my BBCode right.

I do think this is an important topic, thanks so much for starting the survey.

I really admire the great work you guys are doing. It is wonderful to see two young men stand up for their beliefs and try and make a difference in the world. I put your side bar in my blog. Oh, have you read the book RETURN TO MODESY? I heard it is really good. I gotta still get a copy. Best Wishes.
- A fellow Christian

I cannot wait!!

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! Just what we all need. Thank you.

I gotta tell you….
this is a great idea!

Will we be able to read all the questions or will we only receive answers to our own?

Will every one be able to read the questions and answers on your blog, or do they have to be on the forum to view them?

Oops, looks like my internet filter is working a little too well, as both instances of “girls” written by me in the above comment were deleted. Sorry about that.

Yeah, what about men’s modesty? What, no speedos allowed?

All kidding aside, great job with another outstanding idea. It’s truly rebelutionary.

In Christ,
Charlie Mulligan
Crossway Community Church, Charlotte NC

If this is “typical american christian”, I say it’s about time! I figure if God considered it worth His time to include a modesty admonishment in his Word, the least we can do is “waste our time” paying attention to it. If we don’t concern ourselves with understanding the holiness that should follow conversion, how can we [i]ever[/i] hope to “make disciples” who will, then by their actions, attract others to the Lord they profess? This is a very worthwhile venture and I applaud the person(s) who had the idea. And I intend to participate in it.

This is ridiculous. How you dress is not that big of a deal. And haven’t you noticed that men can take their shirt off and wear nothing but swim trunks yet people freak out if women show even a little bit of skin anywhere. Before anyone says anything, I’m not saying girls should have to wear a shirt or anything I’m pointing out a double standard that already exists. Look, the Victorian era is dead and it’s never coming back…and I say good ridance! Come on, women weren’t liberated to become a slave to the traditions designed to control them. Wearing revealing clothing isn’t wrong, people just interpret it out of proportion or attempt to control people. A lot of that stuff was about culture. They were ridiculously strict on women in that time and place. Come on, you really need a man to tell you things? You’re grown women, make your own decisions. Come to your own conclusions. Don’t you see the problem with allowing men to be involved like this? I’m a guy, and I see a real problem. Seeing all the comments by other guys (besides Danny) proves it. I think this is ridiculous, and while I won’t spam your site, I will at least make these efforts more difficult if I see this kind of survey anywhere offline. Call me what you will, but I am not letting this go. Not without a fight!

Since I had to use my email address, feel free to email you. I probably won’t answer though. And I appologize if I sound rude. I just needed to vent. I was clean about it, as you can see. But isn’t the internet for venting anyway?

This is a very interesting idea and I eagerly await the completion. As a young lady (even one who does have wonderful men–young and old–in her life to assist in this area) I am curious to see what my brothers say on a topic that so many people have varying views on.

Thank you Brett, Alex and Katrina for taking the time to do this!

I got saved back in 1973 when I was 18.5 years old. Previously, I had purposely dressed to entice males (mini skirts, tight tops, etc.). One of the first things that changed in my life was a desire to dress more modestly. Then I went to New Tribes Bible Institute in the fall of 1974. The Dean of Women put on a fashion show for all us girls to show what was accepted at the school and what wasn’t. What was so cool about it, though, was the “whys” that she shared and how the young men would come and tell her that they had just got saved and were there at bible school and how the young women were stumbling them with their dress. That really impacted me and has stayed with me all my life. Women who say that it does not matter what they wear and that it is the man’s problem are just being very selfish and need to look at their own motives for what they are wearing. I do think that men need to also pay attention to modesty, as well. The scriptures do have standards for male modesty, too, such as not showing the thigh (gotta get rid of those short shorts, too, guys). Do a study and find out. It is there.

One thing I learned over the years, though, is that modesty has the most to do with the countenance and especially the eyes. We are not careful with that in our culture and are offensive all over the world because of the boldness we have in looking into the eyes of the opposite sex. In other cultures, we are considered loose, no matter how modestly we dress. A woman (or man) should avoid looking into the eyes of the opposite sex unless relationship is close. I think a study of Proverbs would show that one of the strange woman’s tools for snagging a young man is the bold look.

Anyway, I think that what you are doing is wonderful! I think it will help to at least raise the standard of modesty among those who profess to be disciples of the Messiah.

Love and shalom,
Serena

Is this strictly for 20ish and under? I am interested in learning more and have a young daughter, but my twenties are long gone.

Thank you.

Maybe I can’t convince any of you, but I think people are making a bigger deal out of this than it really is. Revealing clothing has nothing to do with your relationship with God. Well, maybe not everyone thinks so, but that’s what I think. I can understand that some people take it out of control, but it’s impossible not to find somebody else/another person’s body. Finding somebody attractive and lust two different things, though. Finding somebody attractive is not a sin (it is a natural human thing…hormones and stuff), and the Seven Deadly Sins is really debateable. It does come from Dante’s Inferno, which is fictional. Consider the time and place it was written too.

If the guy is tempted to lust, I would like to say to say that guy is weak, but that doesn’t really seem to nice does it? Well, I’m not always a nice guy. I would like to think I usually am, but…I am pretty hard on other guys sometimes. Actually, a lot of the time.

Anyway, it isn’t the responsibility of the women to avoid men having stumbling blocks. It’s not those women’s problem. Women should not be accountable in any way for a problem men have. I am a guy, in case you forgot. I think if a woman wants to dress in something revealing, I have a responsibility to control myself. It’s easier than you think, although it is impossible not to find them attractive, but that happens no matter what a person wears you know.

If you want to know why I’m here, it’s because I saw the title somewhere on the person who has that “Thoughts of a Woodelf” blog and got curious. As soon as I clicked it…”Oh boy, I’m going to go into rant-mode again.” That happens a lot…I think that name I’m using explains things very well.

Headstrong: I have to agree with you that attraction and lust are two different things. God created beauty and with it came the feeling of attraction between male and female. However, as with all things God has created satan has found a way to warp and distort true beauty into lust. And as Humans men (and women) are sinful by nature (due to the fall) and so our flesh’s natrual (or really unnatural since we were created with out the tendancy to sin) response to temptation is to sin. While attraction is given to us by God, lust is of the devil and should be treated as such, and since attraction if not carefully monitered and given to God can lead to lust we must be carefull lest we fall into sin. This is a very important topic and should be discussed and addressed as such because it can potentially ruin your life and cause you great regret.

If I think that a girl is attractive there is nothing wrong with that, God created me to appreciate beauty. However if I begin to dwell on that girl’s beauty and how attractive she is then I am commiting a sin, at this point is ceases to be attraction and becomes lust. I have steped out side of God’s plan for beauty and attraction and steped in to the devil’s trap of lust which is a sin. And as James says Chapter 1 verses 14 and 15 “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. [15]Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” (NASB) sin ultimatly leads to death.

Remember that as Paul says in his letter to Corinth “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Cor. 10:13 NIV) So don’t be discouraged you are not alone others are being tempted the same way and are able by the grace of God able to overcome it. Jesus also was tempted and conquered, and He has given us the power in His name to do the same. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15 NIV)

I earnestly hope that what I have written helps explains the difference between attraction and lust. I also hope that everything I have said lines up with the Bible and would appreciate any correction or further explination from someone with more wisdom, (Alex, Brett or anyone else who would like to add something).

Note: I didn’t mean to go on so long and I am not just writing to Headstrong I am writing to myself and to everyone else. I am not trying to pick at you just trying to help.

Your Brother In Christ,
Joshua

PS: Keep in mind, I’m a guy. This is a reminder in case anyone still thinks I’m a woman.

Abigail: I don’t know what you’ve been taught, but there is no such thing as a “mans’ job”. Not anymore at least. It isn’t how God designed things, it’s about culture. And in the culture of America, women can take any job.
Savannah: You don’t need a guy to assist you in that. It’s not really our business telling you that for one thing. You can come to your own conclusions without us.

Serena: Some women do wear things to purposely attract guys, like in your example with yourself, but not all do. Some wear short shorts and midriff shirts because it allows for more freedom of movement and is more comfortable. And about looking into the eyes, that’s about culture. In many eastern countries, looking into the eyes is considered disrespectful, but in western countries like America not making any eye contact makes people thinking the person is being evasive. In America, we feel being direct and assertive, while many eastern countries don’t. That’s where the confusion is created.

Miranda: You notice I’m a guy saying it’s the guy’s problem. So it isn’t just selfishness of women–It’s also true. Is it hard not to look? Yes. Is it impossible not to look? No way. It’s easy to get curious, but you soon learn not to stare at the sun. You can’t look at the sun for long. If a guy stares at a woman’s chest area, he soon learns that he gets a (well-deserved in my opinion) slap. A quick glance may be unavoidable, but that isn’t a problem. It’s purposely and pervertedly staring, that becomes a problem. Who says it’s “dressing like they’re loose”? Unless, “loose” means unrestricted in this case (which I doubt). I would think it stands to reason that you should get freedom in attire in addition to more equality. I would consider it a sign of increased tolerance.

Gina: Unfortunately, we couldn’t really outlaw them. I don’t really like them, but the only thing I can do is ignore it.

I understand that online, it is hard to detect tone. I’m sorry, if anyone feels I sound rude and nasty in this post. It isn’t my intention. I just really felt like I had to get all that out.

Headstrong: I forgot to mention, I agree that there should not be a double standard about modesty with one for girls and another for guys. I believe that modesty is for everyone (men and women, young and old) I think that when a guy takes off his shirt it is just as wrong and if a girl takes off hers. I think that everyone should be modest and descreet about what they wear and how they dress lest they cause their brothers or sisters to stumble (“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. [32]Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— [33]even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.” 1 Cor. 10:31-33 NIV) I believe that we should at all times keep the life and thoughts of our neighbor at heart and love them as ourselves seeking in all things to not cause them to stumble.

I hope and Pray that God will work upon your heart that you might see the light and come to know Him better. I pray that you will be uplifted and encouraged by what I and others have written and that through our writting come to a closer relationship with our Father in Heaven.

I Hope this helps you understand where we are coming from and would recommend that you read James 1, 1 Cor. 10. I also recommend [url=http://www.regenerateourculture.com/magazine/article/148/]“Understanding Modesty”[/url] by Christine Fuller, I would also like recommend [url=http://www.regenerateourculture.com/magazine/article/146/]“And So Be Pure”[/url] by David Ketter

Your Brother In Christ,
Joshua

I have to jump in and comment to Headstrong from a woman’s point of view. I do not think he realizes – perhaps from not knowing women who are concerned that they be seen for who they are and not what they are built like – that women are not always comfortable trusting their own judgement as to what they look good/appropriate/attractive in! I ask my husband on a daily basis if what I am wearing is any one of a number of things – including too revealing, attractive, too plain, etc.. I dress at least as much to please his tastes and thoughts as I do my own. And lest you think I am some victim of prudish fear and sack-like bag jumpers and dresses let me assure you that I think that if I do not look as well-dressed and personable and attractive as I can while at the same time following a modest standard of dress I am not obeying what God has given me the responsibility to be!

I want to be seen for who I am – not what I look like. I want to be known as me – Margaret – not that great __________ or those _________ __________. As soon as I stop being Margaret and become an object/collection of body parts I can no longer be seen or heard. If asking my husband or other men in this survey helps me to be perceived as myself instead of some body parts I will ask and keep asking and ask some more – because – for me being seen as Margaret is infinitely more important than anything else I do outside of my relationship with God because me is all I have to offer the world and if I dilute the message that God has asked me to bring to the world through my choice of dress and appearance than I have done less than my job as his daughter.

I fear for those girls and young women who are being raised in families that allow access to television and the media where the idealization of “perfect” body parts have become the standard by which they are judged and if they do not have those perfect body parts – the loss of self-esteem that results.

I fear for the society that we are creating in this country – and in the world that says that the value of a human – especially of a woman – is based on a completely unrealistic and false ideal created not by God or even nature – but instead by plastic surgeons and air-brushed models in magazines, movies and television that send the message that unless your individual body parts look freakishly large or small you have no value and no one will love you (as shown by how much stuff they will give you) or choose you to socialize with (which includes their allowing you to go about in their packs to nightclubs and parties and encouraging intoxication from alcohol and drugs).

What have we reduced our daughters and sisters and friends to – that we tell them they are only of value as bodies – not as souls and hearts and minds? What message are we sending our mothers and wives when even in the churches (never mind the world) we see women who are not alowed to age gracefully – to grow a lovely head of white hair or to have bodies that are clearly not 20 years old? Even in the Christian community – we judge women by their appearances and tend to validate the young and pert and discount the women who appear their age and who are more than 20!

Only by creating surveys like this and by encouraging the perception of women as people instead of body parts do women become truly able to be who they are and who they were meant to be – by developing their hearts and minds and souls as well as healthy, modestly attired bodies! Far more able to be a full human being is the person who is not obsessed with their appearance or their body parts or their keeping up with the latest fad in clothes or accessories! Far more likely to be a complete woman – to be a complete and equal person is the woman who is not feeling the pressure of a society to appear as if she were an airbrushed model!

Our society is infinitely more oppressive and confining to women than the worst perceptions of the Victorian era ever thought of being – because we have created standards of dress and appearance in our day that are just about completely unobtainable unless you are incredibly wealthy and have access to plastic surgeons on a constant basis – thus making anyone who attempts to acheive those standards unable to ever succeed. In the Victorian era – the most a woman had to contend was dressing in a fashion that covered the very body parts that we have made the center of our society – therefore allowing her to have a less than perfect body and still be accepted into society!

Forgive the rant! I am feeling this pretty strongly – probably becasue I see so many young women suffering from such a tragic obsession with what they look like instead of who they are and I think this survey will help change the focus! Becoming known for who you are instead of what you are is a goal of great importance and if asking men what keeps them focused on the what so we can avoid it instead of the who so we can embrace those things helps this, then the sooner this survey takes place the better!

Being able to be who I am is the most liberating thing in the world! Being confined to what I look like and having that be the basis by which I am judged and chosen is the most confining and tragic thing in the world because it is impossible for anyone to ever succeed on that basis! Being who I am is what God asks me to be and what He judges me on – not what I look like! Somehow I don’t think that what size I was or whether I had the latest fashion has a whole lot to do with what the basis for His judgement will be!

As the mom of 5 girls (ages 16 to 5), I am so concerned with the modesty issue. This is a GREAT idea…to have a forum and networking of Believers. Is there anyway to post info on Modest clothing websites? I work for a company called Shade Clothing that sells shirts for women and girls that can be used under other shirts to stay modest.

Brett: I appoligize that this discussion left the intended topic, and am willing to discontinue it. Thank you for doing this survey and allowing us (guys and girls) to discuss this topic in the least uncomfortable way possible.

Again I apploigize for not taking into consideration the goals of this survey in my comments.

Your Brother In Christ,
Joshua

I’m all for modesty, but I’m not sure about this survey. For one thing, there really are cultural differences in what is/isn’t acceptable. Just ask anyone who has ever lived in both urban and rural areas, or on the West Coast and East Coast where climate differences partially determine how people can acceptably dress. Secondly, the survey still puts too much pressure on women to conform without equal accountability for men. The “veil” graphic is rather disturbing since it seems to be more about hiding and silencing women, rather than freeing us from the bondage of worrying how we look all the time. I’m a Christian and I’m really tired of having to “check with the men first” for these types of things. Women shouldn’t be naive about the messages their clothing might send, but men should also be encouraged to see the person behind the dress. There is nothing wrong with sexual attraction; it’s unavoidable. Attempting to completely shut it off can give people unhealthy obsessions with it and cast really dark shadows in people’s lives. Let’s embrace the sexual beings God has created us to be, but let us also think things through realistically and carefully as we have the feelings we do.

Thank you so much for doing this! I am so grateful to have parents who are concerned about this issue and have trained me to pursue modesty. However, there are still plenty of questions that I’ve always wanted to ask my brothers in Christ. Really excited to learn how to serve you guys better in this area!

-Lizzy

This survey is an awesome idea – hope you get alot of responses! You guys are truly an anomily to today’s culture – and that’s a very good thing. Thanks for making a bold statement and teaching christian worldview in everything you do. Many blessings!

This is great, anything that deals with the issue of modesty, with out going overboard..is.
Thanks so much!!!

Ok, Going through and reading this blog, I noticed the arguments headstrong is putting forward, I would just like to say that he has a point We as women cannot control a mans lust, It does not matter WHAT YOU WEAR, YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD A LUSTFUL PERSON DETERMINES YOUR SPIRITUAL STRENGTH THIS IS NOT ABOUT JUDGING OTHERS. THIS IS ABOUT SELF GOVERNMENT, NOTHING YOU DO CAN REGULATE DIRECT OR CONTROL ANYONE ELSE……

If only people all were thinkers. Here are some young men who ARE taking an active role in the modesty issue by admitting that they aren’t jaded by all the nakedness in the world, and would like to explain to girls and women and other men that they do still have the ability to blush! (as the scriptures say) And some people say that they’re trying to put all the responsibility on the females? By coming out and saying what bothers them, what turns them on, what they would like to preserve for a loving, commited relationship where they can praise and enjoy the wife of their youth, they are doing a hard thing, and taking the responsibility instead of leaving it up to the women to figure out how a man’s or boy’s eyes and mind work. They are taking responsibility for their actions, by asking for equal responsibility from women and girls – especially here in this Christian forum, those who truly care about their influence for Christ and future understandings of sexual things in their marriage bedrooms too. I commend all the people involved here – male and female. May God bless your endevours, as hard as they may seem.

Great idea!!!! Girls I grew up with all guys it does matter what we wear! Thanks guys for helping us be more aware!

The questions will be posted on the blog in a month or so. You don’t need to e-mail your own questions to see the results.

Thank you! It can be hard for me to remember that my clothes aren’t just about me. Most of the time, I think I’m just wearing whatever’s most comfortable and that it’s nobody else’s business. It can’t really be true, though, because if only comfort mattered, we’d all go around in pajamas and fluffy bathrobes, right? (In most seasons…let’s not mention summer.) So I guess we all dress for other people, even if we don’t realize it. Thanks for helping girls make intelligent decisions on what kinds of messages to send out!

I like the fact you have a very attractive make-up wearing woman flirting with the viewer from behind some gauze in the banner ad.

I am looking forward to the final product format of this survey!
Though I’ve been brought up to dress decently and appropriately, in the past few years I’ve been brought to think more deeply on this subject, and I’m eager to hear others’ comments.
By the way, MODESTY has more to do with avoiding extremes (in color & style & etc..) than it does with dressing in a concealing rather than revealing manner. DECENT and APPROPRIATE convey the latter meaning, by dictionary defenition.
I think the best thing to keep in mind concerning this subject is that God gave men and women clothes to Conceal and not Reveal their physical forms(within reason, of course), and that men are to dress in a clearly masculine way and women in a clearly feminine way–especially in this day and age of unisex clothing and lack of distinction between the sexes and ‘acceptable’ homosexuality. As Christians, I believe we should unashamedly declare by our dress and mannerisms(our lives) that we embrace the God-ordained roles for men and women. (“I am a woman! Let me be a Woman!”)
NOTE: I am NOT saying that women cannot wear pants! Rather, we must all keep in mind the biblical principles of attire, and ask God for guidance in this area of our lives.
ABOVE ALL: it’s the heart that counts! “Get right within and you’ll be right without.” C.H.Spurgeon. — Miriam Day

ok, so this is ok and all. but really, we need to focus on bringing people to Christ……dressing properly should be (if at all) secondary

L.J: The answers to everyone’s questions are going to be posted on this blog (and probably many more).

Thanks, David, Sarah, Alex, Nathan, Hannah, and Lindsay! (And Alex, Brett and Katrina again )

Hello! I can’t help but point out that the very fact that there are currently 95 (well-now it’s 96 =]) comments on this survey is a testament in itself to the importance of this issue. I also think all the back and forth about guy modesty standards are kind of amusing. I don’t see what that is all about. I read some comments about how guys shouldn’t take their shirts off. What the heck- girls have a tad bit more to worry about up there than guys do . As a girl, I cannot wait to see the results of this survey. I go to a public school, and I am very defensive about guys looking at me the wrong way. Even if I wasn’t concerned about making Christian guys stumble (which I am), I think giving guys an oppurtunity to see certain areas is sick. I heard a saying once which I think applies. “If the goods aren’t for sale, don’t display them in the window.” The guys who aren’t worried about lust will not worry about keeping their eyes in good places, and I think giving them something to galk at is downright degrading.
I simply can’t resist commenting on the conversation resulting from Headstrong’s comment. It sounded a lot like what would happen if I posted a comment on a pro-choice blog, only much more well-mannered . Ttyl! -Alexandra

L:J: I was ttalking about the quiz that is going to happen, I guess it’s a survery though. i always thought of it as a quiz, though. (:

Katrina: Sorry! Thanks ALL of you.

By the way, I really like the banner add. The pure white gauze seems to simbolize purity.

Laura Beth: I mentioned this earlier in response to a similar comment: It is always our goal to take everything back to Jesus and the Cross. The topic of modesty is not unrelated to Christ, it just falls under the category of discipleship, rather than evangelism. This is why the Apostle Paul addresses it in one of his pastoral epistles — namely, his first letter to Timothy.

MM: We love Wendy Shalit’s book! You may have noticed that I recommend it in an earlier comment (above). Actually, I believe she is aware of the Modesty Survey. The survey made it on Modestly Yours (the ModestyZone.com blog), and she commented twice on the post.

Awesome site, I really think this is an awesome way to discuss modesty, yet not too abraisive. I congradulate and agree with the things said in here. I am going to join and put you guys on my xanga. God bless

I hope that this will be a great thing!

Man, you guys are rolling in comments over here! I am so impressed by your site, your message, and your efforts to change the world – one teen at a time! This modesty survey is a positive step. I have little kids who are soon to be teens… 9 and 7. My poor son cried one day on the way home from somewhere when he saw a billboard with a sleazy woman (with her chest hanging out of a strapless gown) that was advertizing a strip joint. He said, “Mommy, I know that lady is tacky but I can’t help looking at her.” He was only 7 years old. It is sad that we do this type of thing to our kids. We start them off as infants – fed full of all that lustful advertizing. It is no wonder that there have been over 4,800,000 abortions since the war began in Iraq… or that there are so many teens dropping out of school because they are so preoccupied with sex and drugs. I am hopeful when I see teens like you and your readers swimming AGAINST the tide of evil toward a blessed and Godly life. I pray that each of you succeed with your struggle in this dark culture and that you save others – snatching them from the fire – so that they, too can be filled with Truth and Light.

God bless each of you.

In Christ,
Heather (aka Sprittibee)

I think that it is important to be modest because if you are wearing really tight clothes and intense makeup then the people you will be talking to about Jesus are going to be focused on your clothing…not what you are saying. But I don’t think it is necessary to wear jean skirts down to the floor and a hat or whatever…I think that we can wear regualr today’s clothing while still being modest. I’m 15 and I still know that!

Wow, guys, this is a great idea. Thank you so much for hosting this blog! I truly enjoy reading your updates. And although I didn’t submit any questions, I am eager to read the survey. Thanks for doing this! =)

First, yes, I’m a bad poster and haven’t read the entire thread. Chalk it up to sleep-depravation (I am also female. Thought I’d insert that since people have been confused online before).

Second, this has already been done elsewhere. Too bad not as many people saw it. It was cool.

Third- I wonder how many of us are doing this because it’s popular? I know, it isn’t in the mainstream, but there’s Christian popular, too. You can dress in a floor-length, turtleneck caftain and if your heart’s not right, you may as well wear half a bikini.

I’ve been involved in many in-depth discussions over this, and it comes down to attitude and focus. Yes, it’s great to have the input of the opposite sex, but just because so many guys say this or that is a turn on doesn’t mean that you have to stop wearing it. Shoot, some people get all worked up if you lick your lips! There’s a balance between not causing your brother to stumble, and being legalistic (And I’m not even going into the whole “different body types” angle).

Legalism will result in your focus changing from Christ to clothing. Instead of obsessing over attracting guys, you’ll be obsessing over whether you’re doing it unintentionally. We should be obsessing over Christ.

This is what I’ve seen out of a LOT of girls who are big on the modesty scene. They take it too far.

So I encourage all my sisters (and brothers) in Christ to dress “with modesty and propriety”, but also to remember “…do not worry…about your body, what you will wear. Is not…the body more important than clothes?”
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry…For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” -Excerpts, Matthew 6:35-34

If you focus on Christ, proper dressing will come easily. Don’t let the Law become your replacement for God. It will never save you.

Again, I encourage modesty, but I encourage focus on Christ most.

…I don’t know if that made sense. Sleep depravation, remember? So please indulge me, and speak slowly and clearly if you wish to address something I said. Thanks.

Explaination of previous post. It was in reference to my first post, which didn’t make it past the mods.

I don’t know why, and that’s okay. It’s happened before. It just said that according to the Bible, we shouldn’t be making our clothing the focus of our life. The law won’t save us. Focus on Christ, and “all these things will be added unto you”. Including wisdom to know how to dress.

This is good, but don’t obsess about it. Okay?

I hope this post is more acceptable to the mods. I truly don’t mean to offend, simply to give a glimpse into the larger picture here, drawing on scriptures and my long experience as a 20-something Christian woman.

Thank you, and God bless!

Alexandra Says:

December 11th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
“I read some comments about how guys shouldn’t take their shirts off. What the heck- girls have a tad bit more to worry about up there than guys do.”

True. But it’s also a pitfall for some girls. That’s why the hunky guy in a commercial takes his shirt off, etc. Personally I just think it’s disgusting and inconsiderate. And in many cases, it’s done for the exact same reason as women wearing low-cut tops. To attract attention.

As for the men who say “It’s too hot! I can’t wear it!”
Women are supposedly the weaker vessel, yet we must wear TWO layers on top- even in summer. And *gasp* we survive! And only 70 years ago or so, guys would get arrested for wearing swimsuits without tops to the beach. And there wasn’t any air-conditioning then.

So I don’t want to hear it, guys, unless you want me to start calling you a wimp.

I believe it’s the least you can do in exchange for our helping you avoid temptation from our clothing.

I didn’t read all that, but I still don’t agree with what I did read. For one thing, it’s still pretty ridiculous that it’s guys answering for girls. Women could just as easily answer for other women.

I really don’t care about that. I still say there is no such thing as a man’s job anymore. Childbirth doesn’t count. Not all women have husbands either.

The idea that it is to attract attention is an inference. That may not be THE reason or the only reason. You don’t need “the wisdom to know how to dress,” Those are two unrelated things. You can’t judge wisdom on how a person dresses.

Margaret: But that doesn’t all of them. Some women are comfortable with how they look.

sprittibee: Uh-uh, don’t you make judgements like that. We aren’t even talking about “strip joints”. That’s not the same thing.

Lys: Not all people do it because it’s popular. Some do, but not all. Some people wear things because it’s more comfortable and allows for more free movement.

I’m telling you, you’re things into that aren’t intended. There is a such thing as being
obsesses with “modesty” and what is “proper”. I’m not really interest in this, I’m just bored and I always want to argue about this type of thing to put counterpoints out there.

P.S. I like to argue stuff out, too!

Alexandra- Sadly, 90% of the guys I’ve seen go around shirtless were so obviously parading it for the “benefit” of the girls that it was disgusting.

On other occasions, it’s been obvious that that wasn’t the intent, and in those cases, if I’m not in charge, I usually ignore it.

But I’ve been told by a youth leader (One under which I was a counselor for a trip) that it would be “impossible to enforce” a rule like that. That really steamed me up, because I’ve seen how he keeps the boys in line, and there’s no way he would have trouble enforcing ANYTHING.

And I’ve never heard people say it would be impossible to enforce girls keeping their clothes on…

So I guess that’s why it’s such a sore spot with me. It’s been a big part of a double standard in my life.
And I HATE double standards.

Mary said:
“I think we are in danger of becoming like the Pharisees (who were the most “moral” and “religious” people of their society), if we focus too much on an exact dress code. Modesty can turn into legalism and vanity pretty quickly if we make some version of it into our idol.”

Exactly what I’m talking about. I came out of a church that became extremely legalistic. I guess that’s why I’m so wary of it.

The question is not “What can I wear?” The question is “Will my wearing this cause a fellow Christian to have sinful thoughts and/or do sinful things?”

The issue is SELFLESSNESS.
Can we be selfless enough even to wear something uncomfortable so that other believers will not sin?
There are many times when I just don’t want to! No, you can’t make me!
But that’s selfish, isn’t it?

Was Christ selfish? Are we allowed to be selfish?
Nope. Sorry. We’re supposed to be considerate.

The flip side of this is controling your thoughts. You can’t blame someone else for your thought patterns. But it’s only right to help the poor folks that need it. “Bear each other’s burdens”, remember?

I’ve always been naturally modest, so I’ve only recently had to address the REASONS for modesty. I’m still learning all this, but through my journey into the larger modesty scene I’ve come to understand the truth in both sides of the arguement, and find that in many (though certainly not ALL) issues of this kind, the full truth is found in the middle.

We’ve still got a long way to go before we achieve true Godly modesty.

It’s not your shoulders. It’s the fact that what should be under the clothing usually isn’t.

When it is, everyone knows it. And frankly, that’s not in good taste. No one wants to see your underwear hanging out.

Does that mean I don’t wear them? No. But I usually wear a T-shirt under it, or a button-front shirt over it. Or I wear them over my leotard at dance class.

So that’s the reason I have for camisole shirts & dresses. I hope it made sense!

Lys: Thanks you have answered a lot of questions for me. By the way, I wouldn’t worry about not being understood so much. God will let those understand who need to understand. Just a word of thought.:)

I’m really glad you guys are doing this. I think modesty is important(it must be it’s in the Bible) but I can’t help thinking you are making a bit bigger of a deal about it than you really should be. I mean If everyone does it it doesn’t make it right but it sure makes it less of a distraction. When it’s normal to wear clothes like that guys get used to seeing it and suddenly it isn’t a big deal anymore. but thats just my opinion. It will be good for the extremely ignorant girls out there who don’t know any better than to walk around town without a shirt on.(pardon the sarcasm but i do have a point)

I think this is great what you all are doing! There are a lot of christians out there who don’t know about dressing modestly.
Thank you!

Another reply!
I know that all I wish to say has already been said many, many times here, but I just have
to voice it myself: THIS IS A WONDERFUL IDEA!!! I am so looking forward to reading the survey.

A couple people commented, I think, that women have a sort of bondage because they worry too much about modesty. For myself- when I don’t feel that I am dressed modestly and attractively I actually am more obsessed with my clothes and myself. I feel selfconscious and can’t forget my clothes long enough to focus on everything around me as well.
and yes, this survey is profitable for women. Some girls really don’t have a clue. It’s interesting to watch my female friends around guys. The girls that are dressed immodestly or that act immodestly usually attract undesireable men, men that aren’t godly and sometimes aren’t particularly nice. The girls that do dress and act modestly attract the godly, nice men.
I don’t care what Headstrong says about it being only the guys problem, that’s just not true. Someone posted a great verse- the one talking about abstaining from eating the meat offered to idols. It wasn’t wrong but some people believe it was wrong and the people eating it around them caused them to stumble.
I’ve discussed clothing and modestly with several guy friends-both Christians and atheists. Clothes matter. Immodest clothes make guys look and it’s hard to look away.

About a year ago (I think) a female friend of mine went to Mexico on a mission trip. They had a strict dress code, they had to wear dresses that were however long and that covered their shoulders. There was more, I don’t remember it all.
Towards the end of the trip, the guys were discussing how much they liked it that the girls were wearing dresses and were dressed modestly. And they were treating the girls more nicely and with more chivalry then they had previously.
(btw, I don’t think girls have to wear dresses all the time.)

oh, there was so much more I wanted to say but now I don’t remember what it was. *yawn* I’m too tired to think properly.

oh, I liked the comment that modestly is a matter of extremes. Overdressing can cause attention too. attitude matters.

Hi, I’m a girl and I think this is a GREAT idea.

I haven’t read the whole darned thread so I dunno if this has been brought up before… But. I think there should also be one for guys too. Girls can also be REALLY distracted by guys.
Maybe I am a perverted little minority, but DANG, when guys I know go around shirtless I can hardly stay around them. And loose pants too really get to me too. I guess most peeps don’t think anything of that kinda stuff.

So anyway, I’d just like to say that the same goes for guys. Dress modestly, it’s honoring to God to avoid trying to impress others with your body.

Oh! I forgot to mention that I love your graphic – she looks beautiful and chaste, like a bride on her wedding day. I love the veil!

what a great idea! i have a few friends that i think will need to take this, including me, to wake us up to our wardrobe.

Modesty…………how vast a range of definition this word has become. Who is to say what is modest and what is not anymore? What one thinks is modest, another would self righteously frown upon. In the 1860′s, women covered themselves from head to foot, and it was considered scandalous if a man were caught glancing at a lady’s ANKLES! I hope to see a question as to anklets on this survey.

I must find fault with this item though. It is all based on the assumption that women are naive as to what attracts the attention of a man in such a way that causes him to stumble in the area of lust. Please. If that were true, why would standards for dress have slipped so far from the 1600′s? They know what causes them to receive attention, and they wear it for that reason.

Also, another assumption is that it is men only who stumble by what they see. While they are certainly more sight driven then the fairer sex, this does not excuse the fact that women also can stumble by the sight of a man dressed immodestly. I am truly sick of the attention placed on the dress standards of women, while little is said about how a man can defraud in his attire.

This has been done before(surveys, books) and the overriding answer that comes forth is that ….men are all pigs. The women are horrified that we could be so disgusting, right? While I will not and cannot argue that men face great temptation in the area of lust, I hate the stereotyping. By using the survey in this manner, it is implied that women cause the stumbling, and now men can have them change their attire so that this besetting sin will cease. Men are supposed to be the leaders of this nation, of their families, and of their own shortcomings before God. It is they who must commit to a change before they can ever request that of young women. If they see something that would cause them to stumble, look away. When speaking to a young woman, look her in the face and only in the face. Yes, I agree that the state of modesty among both sexes is deploring, but men must first surrender their failures to God and ask Him to help them in their battle. Men must make a change before demanding it of another.

And ladies, just so we can satisfy all sides and everyone’s definition of modesty, some of you might want to start shopping online for clothing from the United Arab Emirates. I think burkhas might be able to clear up any confusion

Well C I have to agree that most girls are nieve enough to not know what they’re doing to guys. though with the huge deal thats made of it i don’t know how they could get away with saying they don’t know.
and, I don’t know about you but actualy When i see a guy that I think is good looking it swim shorts it does begin to cause lust. such as,” Oh he’s so hot! I should go flirt with him. look how strong he is!” Girls are not immune to it. It’s just a normal part of being a teen.

What is the purpose of clothes? What does it mean to be ‘modest’?
It seems to me that we use the word ‘modesty’ as if it were one concept, when in fact, Biblically, it covers at least three areas, and in American life a fourth is added. I will post the differing definitions for the areas:

1) Modesty: A failure to insist on the privileges and honor that one might normally recieve according to ones accomplishments, attributes or rank. Thus a general who enjoys hanging around with his junior officers at a barbecue and does not hold himself aloof could be called ‘modest’. An extremely talented nuclear physicist who listens carefully to much less accomplished scientists at a convention could be called ‘modest’. The opposite of ‘proud’ or ‘stuck up’.

2) Modesty: Someone who does not flaunt his attainments with flashy cars/jewelry ( in the case of wealth) or hanging multiple copies of his degrees on the wall (education) or trophies/awards (physical accomplishments) or a woman who is always boasting about how much her husband makes, or what an important job he has, etc. The opposite of ‘a show off’.

3) Modesty: Not dressing in a sexually suggestive way; wearing long dresses instead of short, tight pants. Buttoning ones shirt all the way up instead of having one strained button around the bust area. Not acting in a sexually suggestive way, rubbing up against someone of the opposite sex, etc. The opposite of ‘a flirt’ (and several less complimentary words)

4) Modesty: Wearing clothes that cover the body (outside of their sexual effect), and/or being uncomfortable with discussing issues regarding bodily functions/sex, and/or being uncomfortable with someone knowing about/hearing/seeing you when you are performing bodily functions or sex. A woman who refuses to undress in front of her husband, a man who is embarrassed to change in a men’s locker room, being uncomfortable going to the doctor, being uncomfortable relating/or having related the ‘facts of life’ to your children. The opposite of ??? (not ‘an exhibitionist’ since that implies version 3)

I have seen sites that say that because Scripture tells us to be modest (in version 2) we should therefore be modest (in version 4). Others accuse people who suggest we should be modest (in version 3) of being prudish (ie modest in version 4).

And yet I find no evidence at all that modest in version 4 exists as a Scriptural concept… whereas immodest in version 3 is actually seen as a form/precursor of adultery.

Version 4 (ie nakedness) is associated (Job 24 for example, as well as saying of Jesus) with poverty, as a euphemism for sex (both positively and negatively in various places), with spiritual poverty, with hardship in the service of Christ (II Cor 11:27), often with punishment (lamentations 4), with abandonment (Ezekiel 16), and one time, altho I can’t find it right now, a prophet (I could find it faster if I remembered which one) was commanded to go naked (to teach Israel something, which would also help me find it if I remembered what it was ). But it doesn’t seem to be listed anywhere in scripture as a ‘sin in and of itself’, as American society would seem to imply.

Where are the boundaries between version 3 and version 4? Basically, the question ‘why am I wearing (or not wearing) these clothes? If I am wearing, or not wearing, these clothes in order TO HAVE a proper sexual relationship with my spouse (Ie dressing for ones spouse, not for the world) then one is being modest in version 3… regardless of what the dress code is. If you go down to a creek and strip off to skinny dip with the hubby… that is modest. If you wear a shirt that he has told you is more see-through than he thinks is proper to wear in public to the grocery store (you just ‘didn’t’ have time to change) then that is ‘immodest’.

Um, I think a sense of modesty *really* hurts me.

Seems like the only single girls who would have any thing to do w/ me I must meet in bars or clubs where I feel \”uncomfortable\” because I\’m against smoking, drugs, and alcohol. On the other side of the spectrum, I see a few single christian females who are so \”modest\” they won\’t go out w/ a guy like me who expects moderate sexual intimacy *and* doesn\’t worship Jesus.

There simply is no place in this culture for me.

Ok..I’m interested in taking part in this, but I can’t figure out how to get to it or register?!??! Is it just me..or has it not been ‘launched’ yet?

I was wondering when the girls will get to see the results of the modesty survey?

Hi, I joined the forum specifically to view this survey which sounds fascinating. However, I can’t find it. Is it simply not ready for public viewing yet, or am I too dense to figure out how to locate it?

Sarah – your question about modesty being relative to the situation is a good one. However, the Bible doesn’t seem to make exceptions when it tells us to adorn ourselves with modest apparel and shamefacedness. I think the only time that nakedness or near nakedness (as in the case of a swimsuit) is scripturally acceptable is when it’s being enjoyed by a married couple. Otherwise, we shouldn’t be uncovered in public, even if everyone else is too.

I suspect this is why there isn’t really context with the questions – because even though our worldly society may deem an item of clothing acceptable in one place and not in another (like swimsuits on the beach vs. in church), God’s standards are different. He wants us to be covered properly no matter where we are (with the exception of the situation mentioned above!) so we don’t cause others to stumble.

For those who have been questioning men’s modesty, read the account of what the Old Testament priests were supposed to wear while they ministered. They were to wear long robes with knee-length breeches underneath so that their nakedness couldn’t be seen as they worked in the Tabernacle. Sure, we don’t live in Old Testament times anymore, but God hasn’t changed, and I am certain that His principle of male modesty hasn’t changed either. I guess the double standard exists because women in general just aren’t as stirred by what we see as men our, and even if we are our thoughts don’t generally run as far (or as fast) as men’s do. It isn’t because men are pigs, it’s because they are different from us.

I am striving to be the modest young lady God would want me to be. SO , when I saw the advertisement for this on a friends blog I was kinda excited. Now , I can read guy’s oppinions of what clothing is modest and what is not. Just wanted to say , ” Keep up the good work!”.

- Britta

This will be sooo exciting for me!! Now we can finally get some of these questions answered! With all of the discussion amongst Christians and some seem to be extreme in both directions (can we really not wear ANY jewelry or nail polish? to you can do whatever you want because it’s the guy’s fault for not guarding his eyes) it will be wonderful to finally hear what a guy REALLY thinks! THANKS SO MUCH!!!!

Alright guys, this is totally crazy… Come out of the Conservative Christian mindset and down to earth.
Ready?
Read:

You concentrate to much on this kind of thing. Don’t get me wrong, certain types of clothing shouldn’t be worn OR should be worn with other layers. But it’s all that person’s decision.

GIRLS: It’s your decision to wear the types of clothing you wear; Make a wise decision.

GUYS: Keep your eyes pure, and don’t look at their breasts!

Oh my goodness… I just said breasts on a Christian website! *gasp*
It’s natural for a guy to look at a girl’s boobs/butt/hips. But us as Christian guys, we need to abstain from that. It will always be a “stumbling block”. Always has and always will be no matter what kind of clothes a girl wears.

And word to the ladies: WEAR LAYERS! You can wear all of the in style clothes, no matter if they are immodest or not, as long as they are in layers that would make them modest. Seriously… I have a friend that does it everyday, and she has the same look as any other girl on the street, she is just 1000x more modest in the way she dresses. Theres a thought for you! Modesty without nuetralizing style. NO MORE FULL LENGTH DRESSES WITH COLLARS, BAGGY T-SHIRTS AND ANKLE LENGTH SKIRTS!

And in all seriousness, shouldn’t we be worrying about other people’s relationship with Christ instead of worrying about whether something is modest or not?

Signed:
An on fire, radical, beat up, courageous, God worshiping, guitar playing, rocking Christian who is sick of laid back Christians who worry about their image.

First I want to say how much I appreciate other Christians who care about this issue. So many times in this culture, people are desensitized to how we dress. So many people who stand for modest apparel are accused of being “legalisitic.” While it is very true that the true issue is the heart, that if a girl is flirtacious it doesn’t matter if she’s dressed modest, she will attract men in the wrong way, that doesn’t mean that we can just ignore the dress. If the inside of the vessel is clean, it will show on the outside. As a young woman who is striving to take on the nature of Christ, I desire, because of love and respect for Christ and my brothers in Christ, to dress and act modestly. I have read through this blog, and I’ve seen how many people are saying, in essence, “If it tempts the guy, it’s his fault, not hers.” It’s true that the guy must overcome his fleshly desires through Christ, but why would I want to do something that would make that more difficult for him?! Don’t I have a responsibility to encourage and help him, not be the cause of his struggle? Is an outfit really so important that I can’t give it up for the sake of my brother and Christ? Romans 14:13 says, “Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.” We need to, as girls, get our priorities right! I personally love getting new outfits, but clothes are NOT more important than our relationship with God or our brothers. Again, thanks to all of you, as my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Sen Neitz – thanks for the tip! Layers are always a good idea for covering those extra inches of skin that always seem to be left uncovered thanks to modern fashions. I’m glad your friend is trying to be modest – the world needs more modest ladies! I just wanted to mention a thought that came to mind when I read your remarks. It is possible for a girl to be modest and still have personal style. There are plenty of places online to find modest yet attractive clothes. Also, the first thing a Christian lady (or guy) should consider when buying and wearing clothes is whether it is truly modest, not whether it is fashionable or shows their personal style. Modesty is the most important thing.
Sarah – my last post seems to have been eaten. But in regards to swimsuits, it is still possible to swim and be modest at the same time. My family does this: we all wear shorts and t-shirts that cover us properly, even the guys, and we swim in a more isolated spot where there aren’t so many biknis wandering around. It is possible, it just takes work!

Of course, then there’s the other side of the equation: how can we communicate with people when we don’t even speak their language? We avoid this word and that because it is low and plebeian, but are not the very dregs of society worthy of salvation? Indeed, the Early church focused heavily on the lower ranks of society, where people would have spoken all manner of uncouth Greek/Aramaic/Other. Koine Greek, the language of the New Testament, was not the Greek of Homer but the Greek of the man on the street. The first Latin translation, the Vulgate, was called that because it conveyed the scriptures in the “vulgar” language of the common folk.

Why then do we strive so much to show ourselves better than others? To eliminate words from our speech which are considered lower than the aristocratic role which we envision for ourselves? Can we not simply speak the language of those with whom we have to do?

Likewise, we could go back to the full coverings of the Victorian age, but women in that time were just as quickly out of their coverings as women are today out of their jeans and T-shirts. Be subject to the law of love, and do not seek to offend on all counts, but do not put into bondage your fellow believers! Count nobody lacking by the grace of God, for even you yourself are in need of it.

Voot – good thoughts. Might I just point out 2 things? First, the Vulgte was written in the language of the people – the word “vulgar” used to mean “common”, but today it has the connotation of “obscene”. Second, while we should do all we can to reach the “dregs” of society – the lowest of the low – we do not need to use crude words or slang in order to do it. I am sure Jesus talked to many people who cussed and swore, but not once is it recorded in the Bible that Jesus cussed or swore in an effort to communicate with them. It isn’t that we are somehow “aristocratic” or above everyone else, but rather that it reflects poorly on our Lord and Saviour when we call ourselves a Christian and then speak exactly like the world. We don’t have to be exactly like those we are trying to reach. Should we take up drinking and bar-hopping in order to reach that crowd? Should we hang out at brothels in order to reach prostitutes with the Gospel? There are other ways to do it! We have been told to be not conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. Such a renewal changes even the way we speak.

Look, I appreciate the thought here, but I don’t think you realize that by asking the opinion of *men* on what women ought to wear, you’re promoting the idea that women are RESPONSIBLE for men’s inappropriate/sinful lustful thoughts. That’s one step away from blaming rape victims, and it’s a tendency in our society – not to mention the Christian faith – that is extremely damaging to our (Christian and societal) view of women. I think it’s very irresponsible of the posters of this survey to even post it. The premise is faulty!

It is the responsibility of every Christian to deal with his or her *own* stumbling blocks, with divine help. It is not the responsibiltiy of Christian women to ensure that Christian men aren’t inappropriately aroused by their attire.

Further, you’re using “modesty” as a synonym for “things that don’t arouse men”, and that’s just not what the word means. Men are inherently prone to inappropriate arousal; as other posters have said, back in the Victorian times, it was common for men to have lustful thoughts at the flash of an ankle! No matter how “modestly” women dress, men will still have sinful, lustful thoughts at their appearance. Due to the damage that this concept will do to women’s standing and perception both in society and in Christianity, I think it’s very inappropriate for you to even run it.

When I try to sign in the page just refreshes. What’s wrong?

To anyone who knows: I asked a question nine comments back. If anyone knows the answer I would really appreciate it.

Thankyou for doing this site! I appreciate getting guy’s opinions on clothes we wear, etc.! My older brother used to tell my sisters and I if he thought stuff was to tight or to fitted, etc. I still like wearing dresses the best, but I’m not against pants and I wear them, but it takes me a long time to find modest pants that I like! It’s HARD work to dress modestly! But! I will do anything to make sure I’m doing what the LORD want me to! People used to make fun of me when I would wear dresses to everything (including playing soccer and running around, etc.), but it is possible for almost everything! Modesty is different in everyone’s eyes. We all have different views on it, but as long as we are trying to please the Lord in how we dress, act etc. that’s all that matters in the long run. One thing girls I know that don’t dress very modestly always say is,”It doesn’t matter how you dress, but what is in your heart.” But, I’ve noticed that when your heart is right with God, you will notice how you dress.

Anyways! Keep up the good work and may the LORD bless you as you serve Him!
In Jesus’ Great Love,
Natalie

Unfortunately I have just tonight found out about this survery, or I would have been promoting a little more in my posts and emails. I echo the affirmations for doing this. Modesty is such a controversial issue. We are human beings with PHYSICAL BODIES that matter to God. (According to scripture in heaven our bodies are stillimportant, and there are descriptions of what will be wearing!!)

Thanks again. I am one of 3 daughters, and I am a young mom with 2 daughters and a son, and I am listening! Can’t wait to see the finished project.

Sorry, I forgot to close my link! I didn’t mean to suggest that my opinions were that important

During Sunday School this morning, it dawned me on what is so askew about this survey. It’s the Muslim approach. Check out Jesus’ very original approach:

Mark 9:47And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell.

Notice, Jesus didn’t say, “If a female causes you to sin, get her to hide behind more clothes.” He indicated that the fault lies with you. I’d like to see the Harris brothers do things the Jesus way, instead of the Muslim way. Now that would be an interesting revolution, to see the youth group full of one-eyed young men on fire for God!

And to betty above…>> I am so sorry that you went through that. It is NOT your fault! Remember that in God’s sight, you are His precious, precious child no matter what anybody says or does. He loves you and He will never turn you away. >

I have been following this thread for days, and it’s been fascinating to see the varied reactions people are having to this survey and, indeed, the concept of modesty. Someone said that each Christian is responsible for his own stumbling, and that we are not responsible for each other in that regard. I disagree – the church is not to be run in an “every-man-for-himself” fashion. We are responsible for ensuring that we are not doing anything that would make a fellow believer sin.
“Rom 14:13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way.” Ladies, you KNOW that revealing clothes cause men to stumble in their thoughts. Cover up! THAT is how youy remove this particular stumbling block from your brothers’ way. Read 1 Corinthians 8 – Paul talks about how important it is for us to help our weaker fellow Christians not to stumble (and men are “weak” in this area – it’s a big chink in their armor).

Someone else said that God never told women to “be modest so that men won’t sin”. The Bible says:
“1Ti 2:9,10 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” That seems clear to me! We ARE to be modestly dressed, whether we like it or not.

The fact that a man looks at a woman and feels lust doesn’t mean he has a low view of women or sees them all as sexual objects – it means that he is normal. That’s just how men are wired, and women know that. That is why we choose to wear short shorts, tight low-cut tops, etc. – because we know it will draw attention and make men desire us. It is completely unreasonable and unfair for a woman to walk around dressed like a “woman of the night” and still expect men to view and treat her like a woman of virtue. If the goods ain’t for sale, DON’T put them in the shop window.

Thanks guys for all the time and effort that’s going into this! I can’t wait to see the results!

This is awesome. Thanks for putting this together – I wish I had heard about it sooner!

First of all I’m very impressed that there are so many girls/women out there who are striving to do what is right, especially in this area! It’s harder than you might think guys. I think a lot of what is being said on here is good. However I also think that the guys involved here need to be taking a little more responsibility. I am a Christian and have been since I was little. I grew up wearing ankle length skirts/loose teeshirts, but the extreme level of modesty did not protect me from being molested. Yeah, girls need to make sure that they are communicating a wholesome message. But guys also need to take responsibility for their lust problems. I spent several months at a very conservative christian campus and was shocked to find that I was treated with extreme disrespect by all the guys there (with the exception of only two, actually). I think the danger with this kind of a thing is that often guys find it too easy to just pass the buck. What was happening at that campus was that any time a guy was tempted at all, the girl was blamed and punished, rather than the guy taking responsibility and learning to control his eyes. What ended up happening was that all the guys figured they didn’t have to work in this area, and so ended up in a much greater struggle in the end. And the girls where never sure what was okay, no matter how conservative they were, and they ended up afraid to ever be anywhere public where a guy might see them and happen to lust.
So often guys think that just because a girl is attractive must mean that she’s a slut or loose. That’s just NOT TRUE!!!
Anyway I think that this can be helpful, but I also think that it’s important to remember that the most important thing is where our hearts are, both as girls AND as guys. Remember that you are responsible to God for your actions/responses, the people around you will also have to answer to God, so while you can encourage them it is also important not to place yourself in the position of judge. So guys, PLEASE if you see a girl who is not dressed appropriately, just remember that you don’t know what is going on in her life, and it does NOT mean that you can forsake all sense of propriety. Yes, it is important for girls to dress and act in a way that is not going to be a stumbling block; but it is also important to remember that no matter who you are, if you do stumble, God holds YOU responsible for your sin, not the person who tempted you.

Hey, so I think someone else asked this, but here goes: a question for you guys.
I like having fun with guys in the sense of, I grew up hanging out with guys & I find them more fun to hang out with than girls. (even tho I am one – go figure)
It’s not to flirt, or find a boyfriend coz im not interested in that.I’m tomboyish, so I go hunting with, tease, play sports with, fight with, joke, etc. with guys. yet lately I’ve been blamed of flirting with all these guys, & in my opinion, I haven’t. whats your opinion? where do you guys draw the line between having fun & handing out with, & just plain flirting?
Is there a way to act? that I dont know about? Is it just their problem? Is there a way to tell them without being rude? (ive been told im extremley rude & sarcastic, too)

thanx

I have a question. What is the Attic? And how do I become a part of it?

Oh never, mind I think I firgured it out. Thanks anyway:D hehe

Valerie,

You may be using a different meaning for “modest” than the translation you quoted does. There are at least four meanings for the term: 1. having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one’s merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions; 2. free from ostentation or showy extravagance: a modest house; 3. having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc.; decent: a modest neckline on a dress; 4. limited or moderate in amount, extent, etc.: a modest increase in salary.

“1Ti 2:9,10 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” That seems clear to me! We ARE to be modestly dressed, whether we like it or not.

When you look at the specific examples of immodest apparel — braided hair, gold, pearls, costly array — it becomes clear that what is being rebuked is not so much clothing that draws attention to the body, but clothing that takes money and energy away from good works. The money that went to gold, pearls and costly array could have helped the poor; the time it took to braid one’s hair or have a servant do so could have gone to devotions. The “modest apparel” is modest in the sense of “free from ostentation or showy extravagance.”

Does anyone else think that the most provocative part of the survey is actually the young lady whose face graces the announcement?

No offense to all the work that was put into this, but isn’t this a little ridiculous? I mean we can go up and down about all the things that a girl needs or doesn’t need to do, but in the end isn’t it the individual guy’s responsibility to guard his own heart? I mean, let’s be real here… become a real man of God and instead of gawking at everything you can and letting your mind wander into lustful thoughts; train yourself to divert your eyes and think about other things. Stop looking to other people to keep you pure and be responsible for your actions. There will always be temptation around you one way or another and the only way to guard yourself is to train yourself. Be a real man, don’t be weak or whine about it… suck it up and look away!

I have to admit I am very disappointed with the results of the survey. I was intrigued from the very beginning, and I thought this would be an opportunity to see what what some guys honestly think. If the answers had been simple the ratings I think this would have been much better. But I found myself sickened by the descriptive nature of the textual responses, and I was unable to finish reading the results. Yes, this is what they are really thinking, yes us girls do need to know these things, but for NO (I repeat NO) reason should we be subjected to this kind of language. Biology is something everyone knows about, but a young man with a girl’s best intrests at heart will NOT go into detail describing certain parts of her body. I think some of these answers were brought out by the questions, some questions I feel were out of bounds. I admire your desire to encourage girls to dress modestly, and yes, I learned a few things. But I still feel that men should not use their struggle with lust as a crutch. God says that our bodies are beautiful, and they are our husbands. This doesn’t mean just in what you look, or talk about. This is also with your words. When I read the responses on the survey I felt dirty, abused, and trashy. In no way did this edify my spirit, and encourage me that my body is valuable to God, and my future husband.

I’m a mother of four girls ages 18-24, and this survey has been the talk of our house since it was released. Thank you guys for taking the time to fill out the survey and appreciated your candid and grace-filled responses. It was a good reminder for all of us to walk in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord. (one additional thought might be to encourage girls to keep modesty in mind when purchasing their wedding dress and bridesmaids gowns.) Thank you again, Arlynn

Wow, I think you guys just re-affirmed by atheism. If being a Christian means being offended by the way a girl stretches and dictating what modesty is, then count me out. Hell sounds like a far more interesting place.

I just wanted to say this is really interesting. I have been raised to dress very modestly and have attended a christian college with basically the same standards. We had meetings that were supposed to be informative as to why it was necessary. I think as girls we need to take more responsibility for our actions. There may be a few rare birds out there who have no clue what they are doing when they dress immodestly, or are just dressing to be more comfortable, so I will give tham the benefit of the doubt. But for myself, I know when I am trying to justify wearing something that is “over the line”, it would be ridiculous for me to chalk it up to not knowing, or just wanting to be more comfortable. Just like we don’t understand how guys minds work, they don’t necessarily understand our inclination toward dress and behavior that draws attention. Having a meek and quiet spirit is not something that comes naturally to me, or most girls I believe. As far as being judgemental, Christians always need to remember that we wrestle not against flesh and blood. I have to remember that when I am tempted to feel resentful towards girls that I think should know better, or the guys that pay attention to them. How we dress DOES matter. Of course, guys need to do their part as well, but the fact is that seeing a guy without his shirt on does not affect us the same way. Of course, I am not encouraging them to go shirtless to church or something because it would be somewhat distracting.;) I think also that girls who are struggling with this and wondering where to draw the line, who are using the “Christian liberty ” card to justify causing others to stumble, should not think of this as being restricted, but protected. I like what Paul says in one of his epistles(forgive me for ignorance as to reference),”All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient”. The principle is that even though we are no longer under the law, we are still responsible to consider what is going to be helpful to other believers. If you apply that to your life, you may find that a lot of things have to go. Becoming a Christian is not about our so-called “rights”. Paul also says that we are to have the mind of Christ, who had plenty of rights, but humbly set them aside, for our benefit. If we as Christian girls have the right heart attitude, because it really does start there, we will be willing to dress thinking of God first and others second. OK, this is a lot longer than I first thought….anyway, keep up the good work!;)

This is just what we girls need… There were answers to all the questions that so many girls wonder about but do not know how to go about getting the answers. Now we girls can know what causes young men to stumble and what is a distraction in their walk with God. My prayer is that the young women that read this will try harder to “cover up” and strive to bring glory to God rather then themselves. I know, that I for one, will be more considerate and thoughtful when choosing clothing. On behalf of all young ladies who are striving to bring glory to their creator, and dress modestly, Thank you all very much!

Thanks to all of the people involved in this survey! I think it’s a great idea and it is helpful for us ladies to have other’s opinions. God has blessed me with a father who cares how I dress, and three older brothers to keep me in line! But not everyone has that benefit. And from reading the comments submitted on this page, I know that quite a few people think that modesty isn’t such
a big deal. But it is. Being a young woman, it’s hard to find clothing that is modest. Even wearing “layers” underneath v-neck tops doesn’t always work out, because it can still attract unwanted attention, just like wearing a long necklace might do, or a top with writing on it. If wearing more modest clothing (i.e. higher necklines, looser clothing, and longer skirts) helps in any way to keep my brother in Christ from sinning in that area, then I’m willing to do that! Also, as single women we are saving ourselves for our future husbands, and that applies in what we wear as well. Titus 2 has something important to say on that matter: “Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in their behaviour….that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subjects to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonoured.” We’re not only to love our husbands when we marry, but are to keep ourselves for them in thought and what we wear, before we marry. We should also think of what GOD wants us to wear. Would He approve of me wearing immodest clothing that distracts a man’s thoughts away from Him and toward me? Or is God’s will for me to dress modestly and in that way help my brothers in Christ to focus more on God? It may not be easy in this day and culture, but, ladies, we should be striving to dress more modestly and glorify God in every way!
God bless!

This modesty survey has been helpful and made me think about what i wear so as to keep myself pure and to help my brothers in Christ do the same.
Howevery, there are several questions I have about clothing (whether it is modest or not) that I would like to add to the survey so see what the guys say. Is that possible?

Also, I’m with all the other girls who commented asking for a survey about guys clothing and what makes us stumble. I think there are a lot of guys that don’t realize that the way they act and dress can be a stumbling block for us girls.

Blessings,
Dani

I agree with Jessica. A survey the other way aroung would be welcomed.
Girls have problems with thier thought-lives too.

I just wanted to say that I support this survey and appreciate it. The comments have been very . . . enlightening . . . as well. It’s been a few months since I read the survey but I know that even though I have always intended to dress modestly that this survey made me think about things I had never thought about before and I am taking modesty in dress more seriously now.

And yes, there is much more to modesty than the things this survey covered, but that doesn’t make these issues unimportant. Great job!

what about the guys’ modesty? i appreciate the survey but guys need to know how to dress modestly too. some of the things they wear are definitely stumbling blocks.

By the way, Natalie, I liked your comment too. You talk about girls having low pants…look at some of the guys out there! Nothing against any of the guys reading this, of course, but girls aren’t the only ones that need to watch what they wear.

Hi.
Good design, who make it?

I have thoroughly read the modestly survey and I have just a few honest questions (though maybe they’re stupid, I don’t know):

Does the color of the clothes you wear matter as well? For example, would subdued or muted colors be more acceptable? Are bright colors ostentatious and therefore immodest?

What do you think?

what we wear + how we look = what we believe

Yeah, I would second the idea of a guys version of the modestly survey. It might not be as easy to make it work, but I think it could be quite enlightening for some guys out there.

So yeah, if that would ever happen, awesome!

I just wanted to say thanks a lot for this survey. It really helps me when deciding what clothes to discard from my clothing pile, or buy from the store. I have no older brother’s or close “friend-boys” that I can ask these questions, so this survey really helps me a lot! Thank’s to all of you!
When I am depressed, I come and look at the survey, and it shows me that guys out there care enough to help me help them, and it makes my day! Thanks again and again and again!

As a girl, I am very thankful for two younger brothers who WILL speak their minds if they think what I’m wearing is not modest. Immodesty is so rampant today. Girls don’t know how they are hurting ALL of the people around them. I really appreciate people who will take a stand. Thank you so much.

Thank you so much for this survey! It was totally eye-opening and I will be definitely look at alot for input when I go shopping and check out my own wardrobe!
As a Christian teenage girl, I am always trying to find modest clothing and make sure my clothing is modest. It really helps to have some more input and to know that guys actually notice how much effort we put into dressing modestly. In today’s society it is HARD! But hey- isn’t that what the rebelution is all about?

Wow. Thanks so much! This is so good! So many of my friends struggle with modesty and I am always trying to think of ways I can help them! What you guys are doing is amazing!

I am reading the book, “Do Hard Things,” right now and since it talks about the modesty survey, I decided to check it out online. I just wanted to say that this is a really awesome idea and thank you to all who were apart of it. Now that I have read the results, I think twice about what I wear and as to whether it will be a stumbling block for guys. Thanks again!

Ben R.: I just wanted to comment on what you said. I am so glad that the women in your family dress modestly, and I too do the same for my family. I understand the struggle that you and lots of Christian guys out there are going through….You guys are trying to stay pure in your thoughts and hearts, and turn away from lust. And just like you said, one can only look at the floor or celling to avoid the lustful advertisements that are everywhere! I too, wish that women would be more sensitive in the way they dress. My younger brothers are really disappointed as well, they have to either look at the floor, the celling, or the other way to avoid the sinful stuff out there. But now, they can’t even look at the celling! When we go into Wal-mart, the first thing one sees is the television up in the celling, and I am upset at the immodesty of the women on there! So thank you for striving to please God in where you look!

A question for the guys out there.

Yes, I know the standard Christian answers to this one, and I agree with them, but a girl’s experience with sexuality, temptation and lust are different, so I am curious from a Christian guy’s perspective:

Why bother fighting for purity? Why not indulge lust- what are the consequences and the hidden costs (I mean, apart from the physical risks, which may be avoided)?

Thank you so much for doing this! Reading through the results really encouraged me that there are other people out there that really do care about modesty-and purity! I pray that God continually blesses you guys for the work you are doing. Thanks again!

thanks for doing this survey it will be great to see others opinion on modesty. It will be refreshing see a different opinion other than my dad and brothers.

Thanks to all the young men who were bold enough to address these topics.
Hearing what my brothers in Christ say about modesty really brings a deeper sobriety
to the subject. I am encouraged that so many really do value modesty.

I just got done reading the book!!!! I really really like it!!! I really wanted to see the survey, but I cant find it!!! lol, Where is it?

I am reading the book too! It is awsome and very eye-opening! As soon as I read about the modesty survey I wanted to check it out. Thank you for keeping it on the blog! Thank you for all you do!

Emily C.

I think the modesty survey is an amzing idea!! I want to stay modest and i want a guy to be attracted to me for my personality and my modesty not the material things! i love what Brett and Alex are doing! they are truel amazing. and GOD has a plan that will move mountains, dry oceans, transform this generation! and we need to start by putting our names on paper! whether addressing to a survey! a contract or any document!! live for Jesus and shout out your battle cry!!

Wow…I had no idea there were so many guys that had Christian attributes like this…
I mean, I knew there were some, but this is REALLY AMAZING…
I’m glad to know there are guys out there that appreciate our trying to be modest and pure..
My best friend and I were made fun of this summer for trying to keep modest and pure…but this makes it ALL WORTH WHILE…even if we can help just one guy from stumbling. Thank you so much! Not only is this site helping guys, but it’s helping girls have a reason and desire to stay modest.
All of my love to our brothers in Christ,
Jori

Thank you all for the Modesty Survey! After reading through it, I tossed out several items of my clothing. And promised myself (and I guess the guys) that I’d always wear shorts over my swimsuit. I never realized how much my clothing might do to a guy’s thoughts.

This is a very good idea. This survey was insightful in a way that proves that there are many more people out there with similar views and morals as me. Thank you so much for doing this!

great idea!!! Is there one for guy stuff???

I found the survey extremely helpful. I know a lot of the girls who read this will have been offended by the detail with which some guys used, but really I found it constructive. I am so touched by the sincerity of the guys that contributed. All of you really encouraged me in my faith and in the way I dressed. Though I generally am not immodest, some of the things that were mentioned really touched deep. I understand that this went to extremes (at least, I assume) and that with certain situations or clothing items guys responded according to that particular item, saying what they would think if “this” or “that” happened, but I think that helped me too. Modesty is important, to God, to women, and to men. And I’m glad to realize that modesty is important to men. It is not my responsibility to keep every guy I see (or don’t see) pure. But it is my responsibility to dress my body and my heart in a way that is both glorifying to God, and respectful to men and my fellow women. I agree with many girls on here that the women in our life should be the ones to teach us modesty, but speaking from the background I have, girls don’t always have that opportunity. Plus, no one does better how to avoid stumbling blocks in womens’ clothing better then men. I’m sorry that there are so many negative comments on this survey, but I found it very helpful, very honest, and a perfect Valentine. (even if I got the present a little late Thank you so much! It means more than I can say!

thank you so much for this, you helped me decide some things to not do in the future and some things to stop doing, it really has helped. i answered some of my questions about things that have been in my mind so thank you again.

Hey! this is a great tool for girls and guys alike. I was wondering if there will be one adressing male immodesty as well. some girls (like me) also struggle with keeping thoughts around guys pure and underwear dangling out of jeans and shirts removed dont help me anymore than females dressing immodestly help guys. I really appreciare this survey and it has helped me see things from a guy’s perspective.
Love and Peace in Christ.

thank you so much for this survey. i didnt realize that some of these things could be a stumbling block. although i try very hard to be modest, i think guys should also be trying just as hard to control their thoughts as a girl should be trying to be modest. it can be really hard to be completly modesy 100% of the time and would be a lot easier if guys tried to not let their thoughts wander quite as often. also thank you for the petition and everyone who signed it. i almost cried when i saw how many guys really did care about what i wear and were tring to help me in this.
~amanda~

its good to see that u r working for modesty, im also working on this topic of modesty, making powerpoint presentation,if any one wants to presentation on modesty i ll provide it through mail,

I really appreciate the effort that was put into the survey. Several of the girls at our church have gotten a hold of the concepts, and it has really helped.

I grew up with seven sisters, no brothers, and modesty and the way guys think has sort of been a mystery for us. Recently, we’ve gotten up the nerve to ask some of our better guy friends about a few specifics, but ya’ll’s survey helped with areas we didn’t feel comfortable asking about. Thanks so much!!! I look at my clothes enitirely different now.

God bless.

Thank you so much for doing this survey. It has been such a blessing to our family. Have you considered publishing it so that women could have this valuable resource for modesty studies?

Thanks Alex and Brett…

In response to Lor and many, many others:

We guys aren’t trying to shirk our obligation to keep our own mind under control.

We also DO believe that girls struggle with sexual temptation as well.

All we’re asking for is a little help. Please.

Guys are visually oriented (more so than girls). We’re just made that way. Please try to understand.
Yes, it is OUR sin if we lust and think about any woman in the wrong way. We take full responsibility for our actions.
However, why wave a juicy, tender steak in front of a hungry dog?
You tell the dog (poor puppy) to SIT and STAY, but you make no effort to cover the object of its desire?
Instead, you (or maybe someone else) parade the succulent meat around, pouring steak-sauce all over it (maybe even splashing some on the dog’s nose!). But you tell that dog to “Stay and be good”?

Umm, seems slightly cruel (just a little) to me…

The dog would still be fully responsible if it jumped and snatched the steak out of your hand.
But can you Love a little, and resist tormenting the poor creature?

To those girls who try to be modest:

Thank you. Seriously. It must be EXTREMELY hard having to stand out the way you do.
But hear this: All God-fearing gentlemen genuinely appreciate your efforts. We feel the Love you have for us…
…and desperately desire to return it in ANY way we can…

~Andrew

Thanks so much for putting this up…I don’t have brothers, so it’s been harder to know how to dress. probably the hardest thing for us as girls has been humility and having a teachable spirit during this survey. I want girls to think about if our intent is to glorify and honor God, and being an encouragement to our brothers in the Lord, or if our intent is just to fight for our rights to dress how “we see fit.” I have a feeling that the guys doing the survey had to be very honest, which is an extremely painful thing lots of the time. Once again, thanks, guys. It’s truly a desire to help you out and to build you up in the Lord.

Hey.
I just wanna say how really encouraging this is to me.
Being a Christian teenage girl in this world is definately hard.
Temptations everytime I turn around. One of the main ones being dressing immodistly because its “cool”.
It is very encouraging to me that other teenagers believe in dressing modestly and serving our Lord. It makes me want to be an example to all the kids at my school.

I also believe that, especially for teens nowadays, not only is modestly important but so is purity.

God Bless all of you.

I just fiished reading your book. THank you it really put things into perspective for me.

okay i have offiacially decided no one reads this stuff anymore…..am i corresct?? why dont people leave comments anymore??? you people are wierd…..or maybe i am just bored….=)

wow!! “someone o_o” thanks fer leaving a comment i was beggining 2 think i wuz the only one who read these comments….yah im not alone! =)

Thanks very very very much! This has been more helpful than you realize to many girls.

I just read the “do hard things” book. I loved it because it made me feel like i didn’t have to wait until i started college to begin my life. I love the part that talks about the modesty survey.

I was in a purity study taken from the book “and the bride wore white”…it taught me a lot about how others view what I wear. And how God wants us to treasure our bodies and not show them off like they are a new cell phone. It may be hard but its worth it to find out that there are guys out there looking for “modest girls”

thank you
-alexa

I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! to all you who made the modest surrvey possible. As a teen girl I always wonderd if dressing in this or that way was really important or if it was “a lie made up to restrict us girls”. Now I understand that it is impotant and that I should not cause my brothers in the Lord to stumble.
And girls don’t worry that dressing in a modest way won’t make Godly men think your weird, but in a way they will respect you. Besides the a atention a girl gets from showing off what should be kept to yourself, and future spouse, is negitive and NOT
Christ-honoring!!!!

I just wanted to say how grateful I am to all those who took part in this survey. It has helped me to have a view of modesty from a man’s point of view, which in return has helped me to see how really important modesty is to not only to grow closer to God but to help men as well. It was also I HUGE encouragement to read the comments and see so many men wanting to serve God with all their hearts. And we need to be helping them along the way; Ladies we can’t leave it up to just them!
So thank you guys for encouraging us to be modest and to not go along with what the culture is trying to get us to dress in, it really means a lot to us teen girls!

In Christ,
Gabriela

Oh my! Just fabulous! Your authorship style is admirable and the way you managed the subject with grace is applaudable.Since i am intrigued, I take for granted you are an master on this subject. I am signing up for your incoming updates from now on.

i just started reading the book it very cool. i was reading the blog and i like what your doing Sara can u send me the PowerPoint.

My name is Cody im a 15 year old guy and i think this is one of the best websites ive visited in a while, I agree that our generation is getting lazy in our faith and espeially in our morals I think that girls that not modest are a large distraction for me and my friends who are guys because quite frankly we are a curious species but we dont have to be all the time if you know what i mean. I say girls that are modest are hot. (dont get me wrong) I think jeans and a T-shirt is very atractive. but thats just me and my opinion.

if anyone wants to talk about what ive sayed or anything in the general area of what i sayed contact me at CodySivcovich@yahoo.com

all for the glory of God!

Cody,

I think the modesty survey is a great idea!

honestly, i think we should wear what we want, revealing or not.

quick question: if guys end up thinking in bad ways when they see girls dress immodestly, would it be the girls fault? I’m not saying that dressing immodestly is acceptable, but the I’m just wondering if it is really completely the girls fault.
And another thing, what about nudists? It might sound like a stupid question, but they believe that it is purifying not to wear clothing. Does that make it a sin to be nudist? ‘Cause there are some nudists who are christians. And what about Africa? I am going to africa next summer, and have you seen how much people were over there? It’s not much, I can tell you that. But honestly, most african guys don’t have a problem with that. Why is it that in America we have a problem with this?

Love this website.

: )

I just received a link to the survey. Honestly at first I was pretty resentful at some of the things guys thought immodest. I have been “skirts only” for 2 1/2 years. For me as a cowgirl from the southwest, that was tough. I like jeans, I like the way they feel, I like the way they look on me. But it was important to my family that I not wear them anymore. It was a struggle, but now, I can honestly say I wouldn’t go back. There are still times that I miss my jeans, and the freedom they gave me. But skirts only has given me so many more oppurtunities to share my faith. Whether or not we like it, people are watching. But there is so much more to modesty than no pants. I think you guys handled the whole thing really well. I was blessed by the open question about what guys had to say to girls about modesty. It took away my resentment when I read the honest appeals from the guys. We, as christian girls, need to hear that. No one else is saying those things, and it’s really hard to stand alone, and then have one’s effort go “unnoticed”. Thank you so much to all the guys out there who took the time to answer those questions. It has encouraged me to strive to do better.

Have you people lost your ever-lovin’ minds? I mean really. This is the height of idiocy. This is men (young, stupid men) telling women “You should really dress like this lest I become a lust driven monster and do things beyond my control”. Bull! Shame on you, each and every one, to reduce men to an animal level like this.

I find it unsurprising that your logo is of a woman with a veil. This is the exact idiocy, justification, and immorality engaged in by Islam when it makes women wear the Burka.

Thank you so much for the modesty survey. It is so nice to know that there are others,guys or girls that really want to do Gods’ will. Thank you again for the survey. Morgan Patience

Thanks so much for posting this! As a Christian girl in a secular world, it is such an encouragement to realize that so many guys really do want to follow their hearts and not just their hormones. I try hard to be modest in the way I dress (and act), but there are a lot of things I’d never have thought might trip up a guy. I admit reading this made me a little uncomfortable at times. It also made me a little bit uncomfortable to think that all those guys spent that much time dwelling on what certain styles of dress evoke in their imagination. Obviously the bulk of the responsibility falls on the guy to keep their thoughts pure, but it means a lot to see that some guys really want us girls to help them keep their focus on God by dressing and behaving in a manner that’s honoring to God and respectful of them. One guy’s text response said he felt “insulted” when girls flaunt their bodies. It had never occurred to me that a girl’s use of her physical attractiveness to tempt a guy might lead him to feel disrespected in the same way girls can feel objectified by wandering male eyes.
Thanks again for putting this out there—it was a really cool project and source of encouragement for me personally to keep pursuing purity!

well, this is pretty amazing! and I couldn’t agree more to keirsten!
^_^

After reading the modesty survey I’ve been really convicted and promise to strive to live for God and to make my future husband proud. I want to be the purest I can be for him. Keep up the good work! Thanx.

I agree with Reba M, I think we should strive and live for God, I just love this modesty survey I think it’s one of the best ways to help teens around the world.

I would ahve to agree with a lot of you guys. God made man and female, and so many people try to say that we should have freedom of our own bodies. But it’s not ours anymore, it is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and it belongs to God. If you were standing in front of God would you want to be dressed in a bikini or a mini-skirt? Or would you rather be dressed modestly and examplifying your faith by what you wear. If wearing a bikini and letting your brothers fall into sin, I’m sorry, but is that really what God wants? Some people think that guys should guard their eyes, but does it help when a girl is showing a lot of skin? IF everyone had differant standards, then one person’s standards could be to go around without anything on. That would be okay right, because that is her own standard? But it isn’t. God set a standard, and so many girls want to get as close to the edge of it as they can.

I find the repeated usage of this term “stumble” interesting. Will wearing mascara make men “stumble”? Do men find being able to see a woman’s bra strap a “stumbling block”? Back in the days when women’s fashion was the epitome of modesty, when they walked around covered from head to toe, the involuntary flash of an ankle as skirts rustled by made men go wild. Oh, the promise of what lay beneath that exposed piece of bony flesh! With such a deeply ingrained lack of self-control and an overactive imagination, I would get used to a life of tripping over your own feet. But don’t make it about the girl in front of you. You don’t want to stumble, you don’t want to ogle, tap into your inner resources, find that place deep, deep down that allows you to man up, and walk on by.

@Michelle:the Bible did say something about tattoos in the old testament.

i missed the survay but how can i find the Q&A for it?
I realy appreciate what you’re doing

I would like to thank you for taking the time to work on and publish the modesty survey. I’m a homeschooler that is being brought up in a christian home and has always dressed modestly, but when I became a teenager I was given the option of just how far to take my own modety. I was really struggling with this question when I found your modesty survey. I was overwhelmed with the responce that guys gave. To so many it was important that girls remain modest. Reading this survey has encoured me to take my modesty beyond even what my family requires. Thank you again.

This survey has really shown me a lot about how guys really think about what we wear. I grew up in a Christian home and school, and have always known how to dress modestly. But once we reach that certain age we as Christians girls we must make our own decision on what we are going to wear that day. Are we going to please that boy or are we going to please the Lord in how we dress? I thank you for creating this survey. It has brought so much thought to my mind and how I can remain modest.

This was so shocking! It has been a big struggle for me to keep being modest because it seems that most guys don’t want it. I have been depressed for several years because I have felt unwanted by guys but now I am glad that I haven’t compromised myself in anyway, shape or form. I want to thank all the guys who participated especially those who are teens.

Like practicly any area in life we can make excuses and give good “reasons” for why we should be able to dress this way or that way (even if it’s just to ourselves). ut being on the inside of a situation it can be benificial to have an ooutside perspective. I’m looking forward to the guys’ input.

Something that has challenged me is when I look in the mirror my first thought should be “WHat does God think?” If I ask myself first what others will think, then what God’s opinion is the excuses will coem again. But if I think only about what God thinks…if He’s the only one I’m trying to please, it won’t be so hard.

This was such a helpful resource for me, as asking my dad for advice on what to wear can get very awkward. Some of it was also a bit of a surprise– I had no idea how even a plain one piece swimsuit can cause guys to stumble. Thank you for putting this together– it is a fantastic idea!

I saw some of you were questioning the importance of modesty. The bible says that our bodies are living temples for the Lord. When girls where revealing clothing it is throwing away the respect God made you with. It also causes other guys to lust and dishonor God. “Psalm 101:3 I will set no impure thing before my eyes.” I am not saying that girls who wear revealing clothing impure. All I mean to say is God made us special so we don’t need to flash it like we were the creators. Please don’t think I am saying girls need to wear turtleneck shirts and jeans all the time. Girls can still look wonderful without showing to much.

Thank you Alex and Brett for putting together this wonderful survey!
It just reminds me that everyday I need to make sure that my heart is right concerning modesty and that I need to be careful of how I dress. The way we dress and act in public is showing the world who we are and what we stand for.
I really think that it would be a great idea to have a modesty survey for guys as well. Please consider it and anyone that agrees with me, please feel free to comment on that as well. God bless you.
Miss Hannah D.

I love this whole idea of guys and girls communicating about this. If you were to sit down in a small group it would be slightly awkward talking face-to-face but probably also not wise either. I like what Valerie mentioned about the idea that dressing modestly is so hard that it becomes bondage but it really made sense the point she brought up – that it’s actually protecting others from bondage.

Dressing modestly is definitely hard work – sometimes so hard that you can’t even really have fun because a bra-strap might be exposed or what not. I almost gave up on the whole thing the other day because it’s unbelievable how much TIME and ENERGY it takes up. I’m like, “is this even worth it?” But then God confirmed to me that yes, the precious gift of my body is worth protecting. Sometimes we need constant reminders to keep heading down the straight and narrow even if no-one else is doing it with us. Otherwise we’ll get burned out and go with the flow. I was wondering though, how do we have balance even in dressing modestly when we can’t avoid how much time and effort it takes? Obviously loving others is more important than the clothes we wear, even though modesty is loving out Christian brothers.

Ohmigod, that was my first reaction when I read about this survey. I understand the reasons for this, because girls are soooo distracting. It’s a huge set back for the feminism movement!
I thought living in the 21 century woman and man could finally become equal. Unfortunatly not I suppose. I’m not saying woman should seduce man with their clothing, But it’s a way to express yourself and shouldn’t be limited by man or boys thinking that ‘it is immodeste.’
Woman can also be turned on by man But no one talks about that and how guys should prevent it.
According to you it is al our fault, however it comes both ways!!
I can’t go out alone in the dark, but why shouldn’t those man act more appropriate?
It’s not in the clothing for man or woman to act modeste, it is all in the way you act!!

I am almost 15 and I never really have a problem with dressing modestly because I feel uncomfortable when I don’t. I guess that has mostly to do with growing up going to a christian school and highschool and having dress codes, but it is still interesting to see what other peoples points of few on modesty are and they will definatly help me stay modest in the way I dress.

Have you any follow up to this?

I think that it is wrong to dress immodestly because we are being a stumbling block to guys. There are some people who really struggle with porn and we are supposed to support them and help them. How can we help them if us girls aren’t covered ourselves?Where does everyone else’s eyes go? As a girl, I must question myself while I am dressing ” Am I dressing for my own selfish reasons, or am I dressing for God’s glory?” Girls can be pretty with out having provocative clothing. When we pray the LORD’s prayer, we pray not to be led into temptation. How can we pray for that when we ourselves are leading others into temptation?

Thank you so much! I already knew that guys struggle with stuff, but I didn’t know how much.

Could there perhaps be one directed at men, as well? I don’t think they realize that we struggle, too.

I’m baffled by the information in this blog post I found it to be more than incredibly motivating but it also made me reflect. It is hard now a days to search out related information to ones search, so I’m happy that I found this blog post

I really like reading your blog. May I ask you a question. I think that you have a lot of visitors daily but why your website is loading so fast? My website is loading very slowly! What kind of hosting you are using? I heard hostgator is good but its price is quite high for me. Thanks in advance.

Interresting, to read the ansvers.

You have a amazing wordpress site.

I agree with Danny. Modesty is a subject that can get real touchy with some people. There is a time and a place for everything. I personally believe there needs to be more of an issue on Christ than modesty.
I recall reading a story of a missionary who went deep into the African jungles to preach to a tribe. They wore nothing but a gourd around their waist. Once the tribe was saved through salvation they decided to preach to another neighboring tribe. When they returned from the neighboring tribe the missionary found the 1st village making a large amount of gourd waist bands. He asked the 1st tribe why they were making such a large quantity of waistbands. The villagers replied that the 2nd village where they were spreading the gospel wore nothing but the skin on their backs. The missionary then explained to the village that Jesus did not care what appearance you make here on earth, but what appearance your heart makes.

Wow…looking back at the post i just posted the grammer is really bad, i apologize